Is it OK for a widowed parent to travel without the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I’m so sorry for your loss. In my family, only one of us travels out of the country at once. We just feel more comfortable that way, especially more recently. Given that, if there were not a second parent in my family, the other would not travel overseas. I’m sure others will think that’s paranoid but just wanted to share my thoughts.

I absolutely think you should get away on your own for a few days. Only you can decide if London is the only way to do that. Price could be similar for NYC, since travel will be cheaper, for example.

In your family there are two parents. I don’t think you can presume to know what your family rules/norms would be if you or your husband died. Sounds like right now you are ok taking trips overseas without your kids. You might adjust to continuing to do that if you were a widow.

I guess one can never say, but I for one know that I would not leave the country without my kids, if they weren’t with a parent. I can’t say what my husband would do. I would go anywhere in the continental US where I could drive back if absolutely needed. Not passing judgment but that is not an additional stressor I want to add to the mix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are lot of people posting here who have no idea what it’s like, OP, and are not qualified to respond. Who are judging.

I don’t know either. Please ignore everyone and just discuss with your family and do whatever is best for your family. It is not anyone else’s concern.

Sorry for your loss.

Putting the burden of the decision on a 10 and 11 year old is selfish.

Op, only you know if you can go. I’d take the girls with me if I were you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

I’m not sure why you think being widowed changes your ability to travel “from a moral perspective “. What’s the “moral” issue here?

+1. Live your life Op. nobody cares but you and your kids. If your kids are fine, then go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it happened in the last year, I think it's too early. Your kids need the stability of a parent for a while.

+1

This is my instinctive answer, too. But you know your kids, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am a widow with teenagers. If the kids will be staying with a trusted relative or friend and they aren’t having anxiety about your trip, I would go. I went to Canada on a work trip 7 months after my husband died. His parents stayed with my kids who were 12 and 15 at the time. It was fine.

People who haven’t been through it have no clue what it’s like to be a widow parent. Some things have to change but you also have to live your life.

[Anonymous]

It’s totally fine. Everyone needs a break

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody GAF what you do with your life. Literally nobody.

Mean.

[Anonymous]

I lost my father as a teenager (14). My mother took several trips without me and my sister. It never occurred to me to question this or to qualify it as selfish. It's ok!