Is it OK for a widowed parent to travel without the kids?

[Anonymous]

I’m a recent widow with two tween girls. One of my late husband’s friends has invited me to stay at her place in London for a few days this fall. My daughters were invited too, but they’d have to miss school. I also like the idea of taking an adult-only getaway, especially after everything I’ve been through this past year.

If I went without them, my girls would stay home with their grandmother, who they’re very close to and who has watched them overnight many times before.

From a moral perspective, do you think it’s OK for a widowed parent to take this kind of trip? I’ve taken solo trips before, and my late husband would, of course, be the one caring for the girls while I was away. I’d really appreciate hearing others’ thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Nobody GAF what you do with your life. Literally nobody.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

I’m not sure why you think being widowed changes your ability to travel “from a moral perspective “. What’s the “moral” issue here?

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how hard this has been for all of you. Only you can decide how the kids would react, but from a moral perspective I don’t see anything wrong with this. If you feel that they would be okay spending time that way and wouldn’t be concerned about being separated from you right now, go ahead. If you were taking inordinate risks with your safety (e.g. climbing Everest, riding a motorcycle, trick skydiving, etc.) I would suggest that it would be better not to take any unnecessary risks with your own safety until your kids are grown and independent. But this doesn’t feel irresponsible from a risk standpoint. And if they’re not ready for this emotionally, can you schedule this for a time when they wouldn’t miss school?

[Anonymous]

Your girls are old enough to ask them how they feel about it and consider their answers. You don't have to do what they say, but you should start with talking to them about it. Say you're considering it and see what they think. Make sure you tell them they don't have to respond right away.

[Anonymous]

Yes definitely. Trusted caregivers in charge, go go go. Take care of yourself

[Anonymous]

This is a family issue, not really travel related at all.

And OP,.like the others said, do what you want.

[Anonymous]

Ask your kids, ask the grandma. Why are you asking me?

Why not take the grandma and the kids along? You can figure out the missed school situation. It seems like you want to be away from your kids? Do you not think that your kids have also lost a parent and they are traumatized too? What was your family like before?

Though, hat's off to you "" people! You all are something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes definitely. Trusted caregivers in charge, go go go. Take care of yourself

Kids lost a father too. They need the care too. The mom is now gallivanting away to London. Why?

Widowed parent is getting away from what? She is getting away from the children.

[Anonymous]

If it happened in the last year, I think it's too early. Your kids need the stability of a parent for a while.

[Anonymous]

Of course it's fine. It'll give them a break from your grief. It'll give you a break from theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a recent widow with two tween girls. One of my late husband’s friends has invited me to stay at her place in London for a few days this fall. My daughters were invited too, but they’d have to miss school. I also like the idea of taking an adult-only getaway, especially after everything I’ve been through this past year.

If I went without them, my girls would stay home with their grandmother, who they’re very close to and who has watched them overnight many times before.

From a moral perspective, do you think it’s OK for a widowed parent to take this kind of trip? I’ve taken solo trips before, and my late husband would, of course, be the one caring for the girls while I was away. I’d really appreciate hearing others’ thoughts.

No. My morality does not allow this, but you do you.

Tween girls are not hard to handle. They are not toddlers. Take them with you for a change of pace.

But, you want an "adult" vacation, without kids. And this is not your long time soul-sister friend who has been through thick and thin with you. So, this is not a "spiritual healing" vacation for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

I’m not sure why you think being widowed changes your ability to travel “from a moral perspective “. What’s the “moral” issue here?

Recent widow, abandoning her kids for a few days, going away to England for "adults-only" vacation. Not understanding that the girls have also lost their dad and now mom is skipping away. Sensitivity chip is missing.

No one would have a problem if she took her kids to a beach vacation, or Disney. But, maybe the kids are used to her not being around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course it's fine. It'll give them a break from your grief. It'll give you a break from theirs.

Grief lessens when everyone is together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it happened in the last year, I think it's too early. Your kids need the stability of a parent for a while.

+1