Stunned by a teen girl. How is this cordial behavior learned or is it innate?
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Anonymous
Unless you have a gigantic mansion you get a vendor to put a big party tent and port-a-potties in your backyard. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like my kid! Definitely a learned behavior. My introverted kid comes alive with adults and we always get compliments on how polite funny appreciative and personable. We started when he was two (I know, super early but it worked) teaching him to be kind and super appreciative of waiters, sanitation workers, bag handlers, cashiers etc. and tip everyone while looking them in the eye and saying thank you. Now he works in the service industry part time while in high school and truly gets it. But he still struggles with the social nature of teen friends at times. But I think that will go away in time. |
Anonymous
| Both - mainly taught and somewhat innate. Our kids are like this because they have not only grown up with watching us host, but because they are part of the planning and executing process. |
Anonymous
What? Absolutely not.  50-100 people can easily fit into our house because we spread it out in the huge yard, full large basement and entire ground floor. Our entire house is set up to entertain. And we can basically handle the crowd with just two bathrooms and 1 powder room. Each room is set up for people to sit, and we have servers and day-of helpers. I do the cooking and it takes me around 2 days to make all the food. I am set up to entertain from cooking pots and pans, huge stoves, freezers, and serveware etc.
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Anonymous
The book was called Outliers. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outliers_(book) |
Anonymous
| Meyers Briggs - check it out, different personalities. It’s mostly innate, some guidance can help too |
Anonymous
Especially Irish Catholics. The gift of gab. |
Anonymous
| It’s learned and modeled. I assume that she’s been taught since her first birthday with classmates, to go personally say bye to her classmates and thank them for coming. It probably continued and grew from there. Also, I assume that this is not the first time her parents throw a party like this, so while it may seem like large party for you, my guess it’s something they’ve had before so the whole thanking adults etc is not new to the child. Practice, practice, practice….. |
Anonymous
Hosting has nothing to do with a personality trait. It will help a child host if they have to but it’s much more than that. I have met some politicians who have the ability to make you feel like you are the only one in the room. It’s a personality trait that helps certain jobs. It’s definitely a positive trait to have. |
Anonymous
| It’s innate!! I have 3 kids that I’ve taught the same manners and they are so completely different in social situations. My youngest has always had an easy time talking to adults. When she was 7 my elderly neighbor was blown away bc she asked her how her weekend with her grandchildren was and if they had fun celebrating a 2nd bday. Also gives strangers (ladies) compliments in grocery lines and starts conversations with them (to my dismay, ha). My oldest two only talk to adults when directly approached. |
Anonymous
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I think some is innate in a sense that some kids are adept at reading social norms and cues. I could from a young age - read the room type of thing and adapt to any setting. I suspect my dad was similar growing up. My mom and brother struggle a lot with this. It used to really frustrate/embarrass me but now I better understand their personalities.
I went into a job that lends itself to this particular skill. My kids seem to do well conversing with adults etc we don’t host large parties - ever. She sounds like a lovely young woman and very grateful for the party given in her honor, can’t ask much more than that from a kid! |