Spin off - Kids ringing doorbell in neighborhood/free roaming kids. What are your rules?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you say no to the drop ins, send kids back to their own house for lunch/dinner, tell your kid each family has different ways of doing things. This really isn’t so hard.

I do feel bad for the child with autism who is already being isolated by other families.

This stood out to me too. Yikes. Poor kid/family.

+100 the kid is also in … PRESCHOOL. Those behaviors are normal for preschoolers who don’t have a social disability.

Our neighborhood is exactly the same. Some parents prioritize order and control and others like the care-free socializing and don’t mind chaos. And the families set their own rules accordingly.

DP. I think a kid is allowed to decide he doesn't want to hang out with a kid who hits and exposes himself, even if those behaviors are not uncommon in preschoolers.

Reading Comprehension. The op is quite clear that her kid is NOT ALLOWED to play with him. Most older kids aren’t bothered by naked little kids. I actually find it weird that it bothers her so much.

You're the one who needs to work on your reading comprehension.

OP: my son has complained to me about a little boy in the neighborhood who pulls his pants down and shows his genitals or hits other kids. My son is no longer allowed to play with him, nor does he want to, due to the hitting.

I've bolded the parts you missed in your rush to be sanctimonious.

[Anonymous]

So this seems fine to me (except that four is very young), and I said that I would tell mom that I would call CPS in the other thread.

Your neighborhood, OP, sounds like kids being sent out to play with each other, and they might be at one of a few houses. Yes, there could be an issue, but overall parents generally know where the kids are.

The other thread really sounded to me like that child’s parents had no idea where she was all day every day. She was coming over to play at a time that there weren’t other kids playing, the OP of that thread had told the child’s mom not to send her over, and it was happening every day, multiple times a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you say no to the drop ins, send kids back to their own house for lunch/dinner, tell your kid each family has different ways of doing things. This really isn’t so hard.

I do feel bad for the child with autism who is already being isolated by other families.

This stood out to me too. Yikes. Poor kid/family.

+100 the kid is also in … PRESCHOOL. Those behaviors are normal for preschoolers who don’t have a social disability.

Our neighborhood is exactly the same. Some parents prioritize order and control and others like the care-free socializing and don’t mind chaos. And the families set their own rules accordingly.

DP. I think a kid is allowed to decide he doesn't want to hang out with a kid who hits and exposes himself, even if those behaviors are not uncommon in preschoolers.

Reading Comprehension. The op is quite clear that her kid is NOT ALLOWED to play with him. Most older kids aren’t bothered by naked little kids. I actually find it weird that it bothers her so much.

You're the one who needs to work on your reading comprehension.

OP: my son has complained to me about a little boy in the neighborhood who pulls his pants down and shows his genitals or hits other kids. My son is no longer allowed to play with him, nor does he want to, due to the hitting.

I've bolded the parts you missed in your rush to be sanctimonious.

You literally wrote “not allowed to” in your response. Most kids don’t want to play with autistic kids. The op (and you, apparently) would rather take these moments to reinforce exclusion and ick principles than take the opportunity to say “Larlo, he’s FOUR and has a disability. Let’s talk about why his disability might cause him to act this way. Ignore the behavior and be kind to him”
Doesn’t mean he has to be his best friend. But such justified unkindness will show itself eventually.

[Anonymous]

Ok I'm the one who originally mentioned food. The reason it annoyed me is because I would be in the middle of weeding the garden or something and two neighbor kids come over to me "We want peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The same kind you made yesterday." I'm supposed to stop what I'm doing and go prepare food. And this happened all the time. "I want a cup of milk." Of course I don't mind handing out popsicles or something but this got very old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you say no to the drop ins, send kids back to their own house for lunch/dinner, tell your kid each family has different ways of doing things. This really isn’t so hard.

I do feel bad for the child with autism who is already being isolated by other families.

This stood out to me too. Yikes. Poor kid/family.

+100 the kid is also in … PRESCHOOL. Those behaviors are normal for preschoolers who don’t have a social disability.

Our neighborhood is exactly the same. Some parents prioritize order and control and others like the care-free socializing and don’t mind chaos. And the families set their own rules accordingly.

DP. I think a kid is allowed to decide he doesn't want to hang out with a kid who hits and exposes himself, even if those behaviors are not uncommon in preschoolers.

Reading Comprehension. The op is quite clear that her kid is NOT ALLOWED to play with him. Most older kids aren’t bothered by naked little kids. I actually find it weird that it bothers her so much.

You're the one who needs to work on your reading comprehension.

OP: my son has complained to me about a little boy in the neighborhood who pulls his pants down and shows his genitals or hits other kids. My son is no longer allowed to play with him, nor does he want to, due to the hitting.

I've bolded the parts you missed in your rush to be sanctimonious.

You literally wrote “not allowed to” in your response. Most kids don’t want to play with autistic kids. The op (and you, apparently) would rather take these moments to reinforce exclusion and ick principles than take the opportunity to say “Larlo, he’s FOUR and has a disability. Let’s talk about why his disability might cause him to act this way. Ignore the behavior and be kind to him”
Doesn’t mean he has to be his best friend. But such justified unkindness will show itself eventually.

If you think that forcing your kid to play with someone with inappropriate sexual behaviors is a good idea you are free to do so. I don't force my kid to be friends with anyone. Hope your choice doesn't come back to bite you.

[Anonymous]

These neighborhoods sound like a zoo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My rules are you can play on sidewalks and in front yards but do not go into anyone's house or fenced back yard. Some people have questionable dogs and some parents I just don't trust. But I want my kids to get exercise and have unstructured play.
Some kids get very pushy asking for food and you have to learn to just say no. I wanted to have the hang-out house and now I'm realizing no, I don't want that because user parents will have no problem sending their kids over every day and even having you feed them lunch (and no, none of these people are poor.)

I find it strange adults who can afford to feed kids, will not. Give them a grilled cheese or something cheap.

Half of DCUM is terrified of being "taken advantage of" by having kids in their house or giving them food. It's weird.

I don’t see it that way. I hesitate to provide food unless I ask parents first. It may screw up mealtime or there could be an allergy or something. I don’t give strange pets treats without asking, either. Ask the parents.

Okay?

So you ask. I’m the poster with the herd of kids around. We all text and chat, or know the rules of engagement. This is not actually a burden. No parent says “don’t put out fruit, vegetables and water” even before mealtime. No one has ever complained about healthy snacks any time of day, or even yogurt tubes and juice boxes. This is a DCUM issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok I'm the one who originally mentioned food. The reason it annoyed me is because I would be in the middle of weeding the garden or something and two neighbor kids come over to me "We want peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The same kind you made yesterday." I'm supposed to stop what I'm doing and go prepare food. And this happened all the time. "I want a cup of milk." Of course I don't mind handing out popsicles or something but this got very old.

Actually no, you are not supposed to stop what you are doing and go prepare food. Don’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These neighborhoods sound like a zoo.

I agree. I think you have to be raised that way to get used to it. I wasn’t, and I didn’t want that when my kids were young. Not everyone enjoys that kind of atmosphere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you say no to the drop ins, send kids back to their own house for lunch/dinner, tell your kid each family has different ways of doing things. This really isn’t so hard.

I do feel bad for the child with autism who is already being isolated by other families.

This stood out to me too. Yikes. Poor kid/family.

+100 the kid is also in … PRESCHOOL. Those behaviors are normal for preschoolers who don’t have a social disability.

Our neighborhood is exactly the same. Some parents prioritize order and control and others like the care-free socializing and don’t mind chaos. And the families set their own rules accordingly.

DP. I think a kid is allowed to decide he doesn't want to hang out with a kid who hits and exposes himself, even if those behaviors are not uncommon in preschoolers.

Reading Comprehension. The op is quite clear that her kid is NOT ALLOWED to play with him. Most older kids aren’t bothered by naked little kids. I actually find it weird that it bothers her so much.

You're the one who needs to work on your reading comprehension.

OP: my son has complained to me about a little boy in the neighborhood who pulls his pants down and shows his genitals or hits other kids. My son is no longer allowed to play with him, nor does he want to, due to the hitting.

I've bolded the parts you missed in your rush to be sanctimonious.

You literally wrote “not allowed to” in your response. Most kids don’t want to play with autistic kids. The op (and you, apparently) would rather take these moments to reinforce exclusion and ick principles than take the opportunity to say “Larlo, he’s FOUR and has a disability. Let’s talk about why his disability might cause him to act this way. Ignore the behavior and be kind to him”
Doesn’t mean he has to be his best friend. But such justified unkindness will show itself eventually.

If you think that forcing your kid to play with someone with inappropriate sexual behaviors is a good idea you are free to do so. I don't force my kid to be friends with anyone. Hope your choice doesn't come back to bite you.

Ok, reading comprehension again. You didn’t read what I wrote so there’s no use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you say no to the drop ins, send kids back to their own house for lunch/dinner, tell your kid each family has different ways of doing things. This really isn’t so hard.

I do feel bad for the child with autism who is already being isolated by other families.

This stood out to me too. Yikes. Poor kid/family.

+100 the kid is also in … PRESCHOOL. Those behaviors are normal for preschoolers who don’t have a social disability.

Our neighborhood is exactly the same. Some parents prioritize order and control and others like the care-free socializing and don’t mind chaos. And the families set their own rules accordingly.

DP. I think a kid is allowed to decide he doesn't want to hang out with a kid who hits and exposes himself, even if those behaviors are not uncommon in preschoolers.

Reading Comprehension. The op is quite clear that her kid is NOT ALLOWED to play with him. Most older kids aren’t bothered by naked little kids. I actually find it weird that it bothers her so much.

You're the one who needs to work on your reading comprehension.

OP: my son has complained to me about a little boy in the neighborhood who pulls his pants down and shows his genitals or hits other kids. My son is no longer allowed to play with him, nor does he want to, due to the hitting.

I've bolded the parts you missed in your rush to be sanctimonious.

You literally wrote “not allowed to” in your response. Most kids don’t want to play with autistic kids. The op (and you, apparently) would rather take these moments to reinforce exclusion and ick principles than take the opportunity to say “Larlo, he’s FOUR and has a disability. Let’s talk about why his disability might cause him to act this way. Ignore the behavior and be kind to him”
Doesn’t mean he has to be his best friend. But such justified unkindness will show itself eventually.

If you think that forcing your kid to play with someone with inappropriate sexual behaviors is a good idea you are free to do so. I don't force my kid to be friends with anyone. Hope your choice doesn't come back to bite you.

Ok, reading comprehension again. You didn’t read what I wrote so there’s no use.

It seems a lot like you don't have a response, but this is my question: if your kid says "I don't want to play with so and so because they hit me" what do you say? Are they allowed? Does it change if they don't have a disability?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you say no to the drop ins, send kids back to their own house for lunch/dinner, tell your kid each family has different ways of doing things. This really isn’t so hard.

I do feel bad for the child with autism who is already being isolated by other families.

This stood out to me too. Yikes. Poor kid/family.

+100 the kid is also in … PRESCHOOL. Those behaviors are normal for preschoolers who don’t have a social disability.

Our neighborhood is exactly the same. Some parents prioritize order and control and others like the care-free socializing and don’t mind chaos. And the families set their own rules accordingly.

DP. I think a kid is allowed to decide he doesn't want to hang out with a kid who hits and exposes himself, even if those behaviors are not uncommon in preschoolers.

Reading Comprehension. The op is quite clear that her kid is NOT ALLOWED to play with him. Most older kids aren’t bothered by naked little kids. I actually find it weird that it bothers her so much.

You're the one who needs to work on your reading comprehension.

OP: my son has complained to me about a little boy in the neighborhood who pulls his pants down and shows his genitals or hits other kids. My son is no longer allowed to play with him, nor does he want to, due to the hitting.

I've bolded the parts you missed in your rush to be sanctimonious.

You literally wrote “not allowed to” in your response. Most kids don’t want to play with autistic kids. The op (and you, apparently) would rather take these moments to reinforce exclusion and ick principles than take the opportunity to say “Larlo, he’s FOUR and has a disability. Let’s talk about why his disability might cause him to act this way. Ignore the behavior and be kind to him”
Doesn’t mean he has to be his best friend. But such justified unkindness will show itself eventually.

If you think that forcing your kid to play with someone with inappropriate sexual behaviors is a good idea you are free to do so. I don't force my kid to be friends with anyone. Hope your choice doesn't come back to bite you.

Ok, reading comprehension again. You didn’t read what I wrote so there’s no use.

It seems a lot like you don't have a response, but this is my question: if your kid says "I don't want to play with so and so because they hit me" what do you say? Are they allowed? Does it change if they don't have a disability?

DP. Here’s what I have said:
“You don’t have to play with him just the two of you, but you aren’t allowed to exclude him from the group or make other kids feel like they have to choose between playing with him and playing with you.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you say no to the drop ins, send kids back to their own house for lunch/dinner, tell your kid each family has different ways of doing things. This really isn’t so hard.

I do feel bad for the child with autism who is already being isolated by other families.

This stood out to me too. Yikes. Poor kid/family.

+100 the kid is also in … PRESCHOOL. Those behaviors are normal for preschoolers who don’t have a social disability.

Our neighborhood is exactly the same. Some parents prioritize order and control and others like the care-free socializing and don’t mind chaos. And the families set their own rules accordingly.

DP. I think a kid is allowed to decide he doesn't want to hang out with a kid who hits and exposes himself, even if those behaviors are not uncommon in preschoolers.

Reading Comprehension. The op is quite clear that her kid is NOT ALLOWED to play with him. Most older kids aren’t bothered by naked little kids. I actually find it weird that it bothers her so much.

You're the one who needs to work on your reading comprehension.

OP: my son has complained to me about a little boy in the neighborhood who pulls his pants down and shows his genitals or hits other kids. My son is no longer allowed to play with him, nor does he want to, due to the hitting.

I've bolded the parts you missed in your rush to be sanctimonious.

You literally wrote “not allowed to” in your response. Most kids don’t want to play with autistic kids. The op (and you, apparently) would rather take these moments to reinforce exclusion and ick principles than take the opportunity to say “Larlo, he’s FOUR and has a disability. Let’s talk about why his disability might cause him to act this way. Ignore the behavior and be kind to him”
Doesn’t mean he has to be his best friend. But such justified unkindness will show itself eventually.

If you think that forcing your kid to play with someone with inappropriate sexual behaviors is a good idea you are free to do so. I don't force my kid to be friends with anyone. Hope your choice doesn't come back to bite you.

Ok, reading comprehension again. You didn’t read what I wrote so there’s no use.

It seems a lot like you don't have a response, but this is my question: if your kid says "I don't want to play with so and so because they hit me" what do you say? Are they allowed? Does it change if they don't have a disability?

DP. Here’s what I have said:
“You don’t have to play with him just the two of you, but you aren’t allowed to exclude him from the group or make other kids feel like they have to choose between playing with him and playing with you.”

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you say no to the drop ins, send kids back to their own house for lunch/dinner, tell your kid each family has different ways of doing things. This really isn’t so hard.

I do feel bad for the child with autism who is already being isolated by other families.

This stood out to me too. Yikes. Poor kid/family.

+100 the kid is also in … PRESCHOOL. Those behaviors are normal for preschoolers who don’t have a social disability.

Our neighborhood is exactly the same. Some parents prioritize order and control and others like the care-free socializing and don’t mind chaos. And the families set their own rules accordingly.

DP. I think a kid is allowed to decide he doesn't want to hang out with a kid who hits and exposes himself, even if those behaviors are not uncommon in preschoolers.

Reading Comprehension. The op is quite clear that her kid is NOT ALLOWED to play with him. Most older kids aren’t bothered by naked little kids. I actually find it weird that it bothers her so much.

You're the one who needs to work on your reading comprehension.

OP: my son has complained to me about a little boy in the neighborhood who pulls his pants down and shows his genitals or hits other kids. My son is no longer allowed to play with him, nor does he want to, due to the hitting.

I've bolded the parts you missed in your rush to be sanctimonious.

You literally wrote “not allowed to” in your response. Most kids don’t want to play with autistic kids. The op (and you, apparently) would rather take these moments to reinforce exclusion and ick principles than take the opportunity to say “Larlo, he’s FOUR and has a disability. Let’s talk about why his disability might cause him to act this way. Ignore the behavior and be kind to him”
Doesn’t mean he has to be his best friend. But such justified unkindness will show itself eventually.

If you think that forcing your kid to play with someone with inappropriate sexual behaviors is a good idea you are free to do so. I don't force my kid to be friends with anyone. Hope your choice doesn't come back to bite you.

Nudity isn’t inherently sexual and especially for a kid with a disability. WTF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you say no to the drop ins, send kids back to their own house for lunch/dinner, tell your kid each family has different ways of doing things. This really isn’t so hard.

I do feel bad for the child with autism who is already being isolated by other families.

This stood out to me too. Yikes. Poor kid/family.

+100 the kid is also in … PRESCHOOL. Those behaviors are normal for preschoolers who don’t have a social disability.

Our neighborhood is exactly the same. Some parents prioritize order and control and others like the care-free socializing and don’t mind chaos. And the families set their own rules accordingly.

DP. I think a kid is allowed to decide he doesn't want to hang out with a kid who hits and exposes himself, even if those behaviors are not uncommon in preschoolers.

Reading Comprehension. The op is quite clear that her kid is NOT ALLOWED to play with him. Most older kids aren’t bothered by naked little kids. I actually find it weird that it bothers her so much.

You're the one who needs to work on your reading comprehension.

OP: my son has complained to me about a little boy in the neighborhood who pulls his pants down and shows his genitals or hits other kids. My son is no longer allowed to play with him, nor does he want to, due to the hitting.

I've bolded the parts you missed in your rush to be sanctimonious.

You literally wrote “not allowed to” in your response. Most kids don’t want to play with autistic kids. The op (and you, apparently) would rather take these moments to reinforce exclusion and ick principles than take the opportunity to say “Larlo, he’s FOUR and has a disability. Let’s talk about why his disability might cause him to act this way. Ignore the behavior and be kind to him”
Doesn’t mean he has to be his best friend. But such justified unkindness will show itself eventually.

If you think that forcing your kid to play with someone with inappropriate sexual behaviors is a good idea you are free to do so. I don't force my kid to be friends with anyone. Hope your choice doesn't come back to bite you.

Nudity isn’t inherently sexual and especially for a kid with a disability. WTF

Amen.