Spin off - Kids ringing doorbell in neighborhood/free roaming kids. What are your rules?
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Anonymous
| I’m a parent who lets my kids free range on our cul-de-sac. I always discuss policies with the other family before I allow door knocking. I make it explicit that I would be thrilled for their children to knock on our door. I text the parent if something seems off, like if dc’s bff comes over before homework. I bring up the schedule every summer with dc’s 2 closest friends’ parents to ensure the arrangement is still working for everyone. We don’t feed each other’s children meals, but we do offer snacks. I go get my children if they’ve started more than two hours. These boundaries work for our cul-de-sac. |
Anonymous
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We live in a small neighborhood with a decent number of elementary school aged kids. Parents of younger kids tend to be outside when their kids are, until say seven or so, and parents of older kids aren't always. Our daughter is eight so I let her run free in the neighborhood.
It tends not to be all day on weekends, but it's often several hours in the evening (say 5-9pm with a break for dinner). I find this a little annoying, because it makes it harder to plan dinner, but I make it work. We skip showers on the night the kids really want to play late. Doorbell ringing is fine with me, another kid following mine inside and hanging out happens and is also fine with me. I'll shoot the other parents a text in those cases just to let them know. We don't serve meals to visiting random kids, but we do have snacks if kids ask. If a kid is around when we start to eat we send them home. If the doorbell rings when my kid is ready for bed, I just say that. No big deal. There's some minor annoyances with this kind of neighborhood, but the good completely outweighs any bad. Unstructured, lightly supervised time with other kids should be a big part of childhood. |
Anonymous
Thiiiisssssss |
Anonymous
| You kids childhood is idyllic. You are crazy lucky. Stop complaining. |
Anonymous
+1. OP, you are the adult in the situation, and you should kindly and firmly set the rules/times for play at your house or for your child. It’s more than okay. |
Anonymous
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My rules are you can play on sidewalks and in front yards but do not go into anyone's house or fenced back yard. Some people have questionable dogs and some parents I just don't trust. But I want my kids to get exercise and have unstructured play.
Some kids get very pushy asking for food and you have to learn to just say no. I wanted to have the hang-out house and now I'm realizing no, I don't want that because user parents will have no problem sending their kids over every day and even having you feed them lunch (and no, none of these people are poor.) |
Anonymous
I find it strange adults who can afford to feed kids, will not. Give them a grilled cheese or something cheap. |
Anonymous
| My kids are 8 and 9. They go to their friends houses to see if they are around to play. I do not hover over them. Their friends do the same. Kids ring our doorbell and my kids come out and play if they are around. |
Anonymous
I guess I am lucky enough to not have food insecurity. But my kid was playing basketball with a bunch of neighborhood kids yesterday, so I went and picked up two large pizzas for all of them to share. |
Anonymous
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My 9 year old has a few different friend's houses he can walk to, and does so often, or they walk here. Sometimes I will text the parent to ask "are you free this afternoon" but more often the kids just initiate on their own. I'm very happy to have kids ring the doorbell. If it's not a good time I say "thanks for coming over, Larlo can't play right now" and they say OK and come back the next day.
We have 2 neighbors who I'm not super close with but they have similar age kids, and my son will often join in their outdoor play, but almost never approaches their home, just sees them if they are already outside. After age 8 I think play dates should be child led when possible. The parents demanding an advance warning text are odd to me. Im thankful I dont have to be in the middle of my sons entire social life. Its good for kids to figure this stuff out. |
Anonymous
Half of DCUM is terrified of being "taken advantage of" by having kids in their house or giving them food. It's weird. |
Anonymous
This. |
Anonymous
Same! I am more than happy to feed other kids or even purchase them food. We bring extra to the pool for whoever wants it. Any kid in my house is welcome to the snack cabinet. I guess if I couldn't afford it I would feel very different, but feeding kids seems normal to me. |
Anonymous
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My 5 year-old is starting to want to plan his own playdates, which I love! He’s allowed to go knock on the doors of his friends on our block, but if he’s crossing the street I’ll watch him cross. It is almost always an after dinner invite to go ride bikes, and usually one of us parents will text the other to confirm it’s okay to offer ice cream of popsicles. It is so damn wholesome and I feel really lucky to live in a place like this!
By ten, most kids are going to the community pool with each other because that’s the age they’re allowed in (w parent permission/passing the deep water test). So it’s mostly elementary aged kids playing on the block. The parents usually hang out on our porches and collectively keep an eye on kids and share snacks etc. |
Anonymous
| OP's problem is that she only has one kid. |