Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone

[Anonymous]

Have you never spent time alone OP? It's something that I didn't start doing until recently and honestly? I've loved it. I don't do it often but last September I went to Europe for 5 days alone and it was amazing. I sat outside at Cafes and read and sipped coffee. I leisurely at meals. I scrolled DCUM and a couple other sites I read without being interrupted by stuff around the house, work, DH, or DS.

[Anonymous]

That is why I follow “the go with the flow” philosophy.
You just overthink things, chill out.

[Anonymous]

Singles dine out alone because they want to booze. If you’re not boozing, carry out. There is nothing enjoyable about eating in public alone, while scrolling on your phone, and tipping 25% for the privilege.

[Anonymous]

I ask for a table for one and they usually sit me at a decent table along one of the sides. If there happens to be a view, I'll ask for the view table. Order whatever you'd like. Fine to bring phone or reading material and enjoy your dinner.

[Anonymous]

I am a guy. I go out alone without hesitation. My wife would never do this. I do think whether man or woman makes a big difference in willingness to do this.
Also, I normally bring a book - usually on my IPad.

[Anonymous]

I sit at a table. It might feel strange the just few times but eventually you won’t think about it.

When I was a young woman, I learned quickly not to sit at the bar alone. Some men seem to think this means you are a prostitute or looking for a sugar daddy.

[Anonymous]

I love dining out alone, I wish I could do it more often. But I try not to sit at the bar. Too often some guy sits down and starts talking. I don’t even think they’re hitting on me, but maybe they assume I don’t want to be alone (I do!) and so they are doing me a favor? Or maybe they’re just lonely. Either way, I feel like I’m expected to smile and nod even though I really don’t want to. And sometimes it does get weird.

Once, a guy who came into the bar with a big, loud group sent over a drink for me, and I smiled and waved thanks, but inside I was like “can you please let me do my own thing?” But then his wife sat down next to me and told me he was a a motherf____, and that she hated him more every day, and she knew exactly how she would kill him if she ever needed to. I didn’t mind that conversation. At least it was interesting and I didn’t have to worry that she’d want a hug at the end.

These days if I sit at the bar I put in headphones and pretend I can’t hear people.

[Anonymous]

Sit wherever you want. Order food. Then I will either read on my phone. Or bring a book to read. Or bring a notebook to write on/prepare for my next meeting or the next day. Maybe I’ll just look at what is happening in the restaurant and enjoy the scenery out the window. Eat leisurely unless rushing off to a meeting. And pay at the end. It’s so lovely.

[Anonymous]

I don't mind eating alone usually. I ask for a table if there is one available. I enjoy the food, look at my phone, and tip nicely.

The only issue if it is a weird place where no else is alone and not a big city and the staff act like you are a loser, but that has only happened a couple times.

[Anonymous]

I am another person who likes to do this. I agree with others that it's not awkward after the first time or two, and that if you don't want to interact, a table is better.

The one thing I do differently that people haven't mentioned, is that I tip better. Like you, I don't drink alcohol, and between that and the fact that I'm ordering just one entree, or sometimes two appetizers and no entree, and water, I feel like that's fair to the server who could have gotten a table of 2 or 4 who ordered drink and multiple courses. I know I'm less work, although I don't think I'm 1/3 the work of a table of 2 who is drinking alcohol, but they didn't ask for less work. If I go to my job and there's less work, which happens sometimes that we have a slow day, I don't get paid less, so I tip generously.

[Anonymous]

I have social anxiety, and even I had no idea this many people didn't like to or didn't know how to eat alone.

[Anonymous]

Americans are so uptight about everything. Does anyone in this country simply know how to enjoy themselves without getting blind drunk or stoned? Sad.

[Anonymous]

Why do you care so much about how others perceive you, OP? No one cares. No, you don't have to sit at the bar. Eating by yourself is fine. People travel for business all the time.

[Anonymous]

I prefer a table to the bar. I don't want the bartender to feel like he/she has to make small talk. I don't feel in a rush - just order, eat, pay at a normal pace. I often bring a book or do the crossword on my phone, but when I'm actively eating I just eat. I guess look around a little? Whatever feels natural. Once you do it once or twice you'll see it's no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. You sit at the bar, right? Do you walk in and walk out if the bar has no seats and/or the bar only has one open seat, which means you have to squeeze in tightly between two groups? I think I'd be deeply uncomfortable eating with randoms that close to me on both sides.

I never sit at the bar. Because I don't drink. I only order ice water.

2. What do you do if the bar has no TV? I assume with or without TV, you just play on your phone most of the time? And if no TV, you basically play on your phone the entire time? If there's a TV, at least you can look up and let it occupy chunks of your time.

See #1, but I don't use my phone during meals (except at the end to calculate the tip) - I bring a book. If I were you traveling, I'd bring a Kindle or iPad or whatever to read.

3. Do you tend to eat really quickly when alone? While you're eating, and in-between bites, do you look around or look straight ahead? I don't see any reason to pause, I think I'd just hoover up my food and quickly pay.

I just eat normally. I am not ashamed of eating alone. I eat at a normal pace and read. If there is interesting people-watching I'll look, but generally people are boring so I ignore for the most part.

4. Sort of related to 3, do you give you credit card when you order to speed up cashing out and your exit?

No. There's NO RUSH. I am not eating at some packed restaurant where people are waiting 45 minutes for a table.

Thank you. Yes, I'm overthinking! Sorry for a probing question: Do you still read on your iPad after your food has arrived? Like you're eating with dominant hand and swiping and scrolling with the other hand? Or do you put away the reading device when the main course arrives? I guess I still don't get how to pace myself while dining alone. When you're out eating conversation happens between bites. I don't know what you're doing if you pause while solo, which suggests, to me, I'd just eat super quickly.

Just do whatever you want. Eating "super quickly" is not great for digestion. My book is to the right of my plate (i'm a lefty). I eat, read, think, look up, chew, read, eat, whatever. You really ARE overthinking.