Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t mean to be rude but you’re overthinking this. But to humor you: I tend to eat at the bar, eat at a normal pace, and will read a magazine or my phone if no TV. It can also be fun to chit chat with other bar patrons. Have fun!

I have no interest in this. And would actually hope to avoid this.

Then sit at a table.

[Anonymous]

You are definitely overthinking this. Nobody cares that you are eating alone.

FWIW, I generally sit at a table or booth, bring a book, read and enjoy my meal at a leisurely pace. Pay at the end, same as if I'm with others.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are really putting out center-of-the-universe vibes here. There are 8 billion people on the planet. Nobody cares what you do for dinner when you're on business in Peoria. So do what you like, when you like.

[Anonymous]

I sit at a table like a normal person. Order food, eat, pay.

Nobody cares and I can’t even remember how many times I’ve done it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^People watching. Enjoying an atmosphere. Enjoying a view. Enjoying the weather. Lots of reasons.

And regarding the phone thing. Your bar neighbor does not care what you're looking at on your phone.

A barstool faces the bar. Are you saying you randomly spin 180 degrees and just start looking around the restaurant and making eye contact with random people? I honestly don't get what you mean. Unless I was meeting people and looking to see if they're there and get their attention, I'm not sure why I'd divert how I'm sitting and start looking around a place for extended periods of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) I sit wherever they seat me, be it at a bar or at a two top alone.
2) I don't normally watch TV, but yes I look at my phone, or bring a book, or look around.
3) I eat at a regular pace. Sometimes I look around. You're paying to be there so why not enjoy it?
4) No.

I think you're overthinking this — no one is looking at you, and even if they are, so what? You'll only see them once.

^This. And I have never met a man who felt this way, only women

I'm a man who travels a lot. I recommend the following
Go where you want. Sit where you want. Be chatty with a server or your bar neighbor or be quiet. Choose or don't choose a place with a TV depending on your mood. Take a book if you like or don't. It's a nice time to do whatever you like, then go back to the hotel and go to bed early.

I am a married woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^People watching. Enjoying an atmosphere. Enjoying a view. Enjoying the weather. Lots of reasons.

And regarding the phone thing. Your bar neighbor does not care what you're looking at on your phone.

A barstool faces the bar. Are you saying you randomly spin 180 degrees and just start looking around the restaurant and making eye contact with random people? I honestly don't get what you mean. Unless I was meeting people and looking to see if they're there and get their attention, I'm not sure why I'd divert how I'm sitting and start looking around a place for extended periods of time.

Sit at the bar when you feel chatty. Sit in a corner when you want to people watch. Sit on the deck when it's sunny. Sit at the window when there's a view of the bay.

I mean, geez lady...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^People watching. Enjoying an atmosphere. Enjoying a view. Enjoying the weather. Lots of reasons.

And regarding the phone thing. Your bar neighbor does not care what you're looking at on your phone.

A barstool faces the bar. Are you saying you randomly spin 180 degrees and just start looking around the restaurant and making eye contact with random people? I honestly don't get what you mean. Unless I was meeting people and looking to see if they're there and get their attention, I'm not sure why I'd divert how I'm sitting and start looking around a place for extended periods of time.

Sit at the bar when you feel chatty. Sit in a corner when you want to people watch. Sit on the deck when it's sunny. Sit at the window when there's a view of the bay.

I mean, geez lady...

Sorry, I'm just fascinated by how to kill time before being served your food. And I guess while eating too. That's why I assume I'd just quickly hoover up my food, because what else can you do to kill time when you're not talking to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) I sit wherever they seat me, be it at a bar or at a two top alone.
2) I don't normally watch TV, but yes I look at my phone, or bring a book, or look around.
3) I eat at a regular pace. Sometimes I look around. You're paying to be there so why not enjoy it?
4) No.

I think you're overthinking this — no one is looking at you, and even if they are, so what? You'll only see them once.

^This. And I have never met a man who felt this way, only women

I'm a man who travels a lot. I recommend the following
Go where you want. Sit where you want. Be chatty with a server or your bar neighbor or be quiet. Choose or don't choose a place with a TV depending on your mood. Take a book if you like or don't. It's a nice time to do whatever you like, then go back to the hotel and go to bed early.

I am a married woman.

And I am a married man. And I've also never hit on anyone in any of those situations. I mean, if you feel like you're going to cheat if you talk to a man, then yeah, you should probably just order room service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your questions seem to indicate an embarrassment around eating alone. First of all, business travel ends up like this constantly so everyone will assume the exact truth. Second, eating alone during work travel is my greatest joy. I straight up go for tasting menus. I always eat at the bar, I’ll bring a book, notebook for thoughts, and a phone. I usually end up chit chatting with someone. But get real comfy and enjoy myself. What a luxury. Get the most expensive glass of wine! Work is paying!

I'd say more-so anxiety than embarrassment. I have zero anxiety about eating at a nearly empty bar with a TV. Not that I care about whatever sport is probably playing, but it's something to keep you occupied. Eating at a super busy bar with randoms on top of me on both sides, with no TV, I don't think I'm interested in that at all. Also no TV and randoms immediately next to me on both sides means they can see everything I'm doing on my phone, which seems creepy and invasive. And a high likelihood they'll try to talk to me. No thanks.

So why not focus on finding an empty bar with a tv?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^People watching. Enjoying an atmosphere. Enjoying a view. Enjoying the weather. Lots of reasons.

And regarding the phone thing. Your bar neighbor does not care what you're looking at on your phone.

A barstool faces the bar. Are you saying you randomly spin 180 degrees and just start looking around the restaurant and making eye contact with random people? I honestly don't get what you mean. Unless I was meeting people and looking to see if they're there and get their attention, I'm not sure why I'd divert how I'm sitting and start looking around a place for extended periods of time.

Sit at the bar when you feel chatty. Sit in a corner when you want to people watch. Sit on the deck when it's sunny. Sit at the window when there's a view of the bay.

I mean, geez lady...

Sorry, I'm just fascinated by how to kill time before being served your food. And I guess while eating too. That's why I assume I'd just quickly hoover up my food, because what else can you do to kill time when you're not talking to anyone.

You can think. It's kind of nice, peaceful. Make a glass of wine take forever, that kind of thing. I think you'll grow to like it, honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sit at the bar if possible. No you don't hoover your food in as fast as possible. Eat at a normal pace like a human. I pay at the end the same as I would when eating with others. Why do you think you need to rush to get out of there? It's perfectly normal to eat a meal alone. No one cares.

Why take your time if you're alone? Unless you're actively really into a live sports game on one of their TVs, why would you take your time? Dinner only takes a long time when you're all catching up and chatting with others. I don't know what would organically extend a dinner by yourself.

Why would you rush? Just eat at your regular pace. It's better for your digestion to not rush your meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^People watching. Enjoying an atmosphere. Enjoying a view. Enjoying the weather. Lots of reasons.

And regarding the phone thing. Your bar neighbor does not care what you're looking at on your phone.

A barstool faces the bar. Are you saying you randomly spin 180 degrees and just start looking around the restaurant and making eye contact with random people? I honestly don't get what you mean. Unless I was meeting people and looking to see if they're there and get their attention, I'm not sure why I'd divert how I'm sitting and start looking around a place for extended periods of time.

Sit at the bar when you feel chatty. Sit in a corner when you want to people watch. Sit on the deck when it's sunny. Sit at the window when there's a view of the bay.

I mean, geez lady...

Sorry, I'm just fascinated by how to kill time before being served your food. And I guess while eating too. That's why I assume I'd just quickly hoover up my food, because what else can you do to kill time when you're not talking to anyone.

Scroll through DCUM. Download a book on the Kindle app. Read through Reddit subforums. Read something related to your interests. I could spend an entire day reading stuff online or on a Kindle if I had the time. And when you're glued to a phone, it's easy to give off "leave me alone vibes". Every so often people will try to talk to me, I smile, say hello, and return back to my phone. You can also bring earbuds and throw one in. Don't even have to listen to anything, just another "leave me alone" sign. The worst is the "someone wants to buy you a drink" BS, you just have to be comfortable declining.

But I posted already that if it's a packed bar where I'm going to basically be bumping elbows with people, I'll sit at a table. But I've found there are plenty of restaurant bars that are spread out, especially during the week when it's quieter.

You're definitely over thinking. I find it quite relaxing to sit there solo drinking a glass of wine and eating my meal while scrolling through my phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you tend to over-tip when alone? I feel like I'd try to tip 30% just to make up for feeling awkward and dorky. I'm sorry, I'm just being honest. And I guess to try and make up for being only a table of 1 instead of a far more profitable table of 2 to 4.

You are way overthinking this.

[Anonymous]

I’ve done everything, go down to the hotel restaurant bar, go out to eat and get an table, order door dash and eat on my room. If I’m in a city with options I will go out if I have the energy. Bar or Table. Talk to bartender a little or just use my phone. Use the time to try a restaurant you haven’t gone to before or eat the local cuisine. No one cares about you, I mean that in the nicest way, no one is paying attention so just chill and go with it.