Questions for people who've gone out to eat alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is just loners romanizing going out to eat alone, usually just because they don’t want to feel even more depressed boozing alone at home. Eating alone sucks. Tipping 25% on a dinner tab so you can have pretend to read a book or scroll on your phone in a restaurant is sad. Use DoorDash or Toast and call it a night.

Thinking about Rome

[Anonymous]

I eat out a lot frequently. I never sit at the bar. Hate it. I sit at a table and usually bring a book. If the tables are close sometimes I’ll chat with neighbors, and usually end up chatting with waiter. Most are pretty friendly if you’re alone. Total introvert.

Was just talking to my PT, who travels alone, and she said she never sits at the bar either.

I’m 20+ years older than her, fwiw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is just loners romanizing going out to eat alone, usually just because they don’t want to feel even more depressed boozing alone at home. Eating alone sucks. Tipping 25% on a dinner tab so you can pretend to read a book or scroll on your phone in a restaurant is sad. Use DoorDash or Toast and call it a night.

What's sad is that you're so insecure and think they even notice you and much less care.

Not insecurity, I’m just not going to romanticize something that’s factually dreadful. Especially since post Covid, every restaurant has well-oiled carry out, there’s no reason not to simply eat at home or in your hotel.

As for your conversations with staff, you all are just guilt-tripping and essentially coercing servant class workers to talk to you. They rely on tips and obviously don’t want to be stiffed because they gave some chatty loner the cold shoulder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I eat out a lot frequently. I never sit at the bar. Hate it. I sit at a table and usually bring a book. If the tables are close sometimes I’ll chat with neighbors, and usually end up chatting with waiter. Most are pretty friendly if you’re alone. Total introvert.

Was just talking to my PT, who travels alone, and she said she never sits at the bar either.

I’m 20+ years older than her, fwiw.

If you’re old, people assume you’re a widowed boomer. If you’re a man in your 20s-50s, people assume you’re an incel. Hipster bars are full of incels sipping craft beer and bourbon. If you’re a woman in your 20s-50s, people assume cat lady or lonely divorcee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is just loners romanizing going out to eat alone, usually just because they don’t want to feel even more depressed boozing alone at home. Eating alone sucks. Tipping 25% on a dinner tab so you can pretend to read a book or scroll on your phone in a restaurant is sad. Use DoorDash or Toast and call it a night.

What's sad is that you're so insecure and think they even notice you and much less care.

Not insecurity, I’m just not going to romanticize something that’s factually dreadful. Especially since post Covid, every restaurant has well-oiled carry out, there’s no reason not to simply eat at home or in your hotel.

As for your conversations with staff, you all are just guilt-tripping and essentially coercing servant class workers to talk to you. They rely on tips and obviously don’t want to be stiffed because they gave some chatty loner the cold shoulder.

The reason is that we like it. You should feel free to eat wherever the hell you want. You sound positively miserable so I’m not surprised that staff looks miserable talking to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I eat out a lot frequently. I never sit at the bar. Hate it. I sit at a table and usually bring a book. If the tables are close sometimes I’ll chat with neighbors, and usually end up chatting with waiter. Most are pretty friendly if you’re alone. Total introvert.

Was just talking to my PT, who travels alone, and she said she never sits at the bar either.

I’m 20+ years older than her, fwiw.

If you’re old, people assume you’re a widowed boomer. If you’re a man in your 20s-50s, people assume you’re an incel. Hipster bars are full of incels sipping craft beer and bourbon. If you’re a woman in your 20s-50s, people assume cat lady or lonely divorcee.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that just by looking at your people assume that you’re positively dreadful and steer clear. It takes effort to be as miserable as you.

[Anonymous]

I've eaten alone with my 20's when single, in a relationship, when married. In my 30's, 40's, 50's.

Op, your question is so bizzare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I eat out a lot frequently. I never sit at the bar. Hate it. I sit at a table and usually bring a book. If the tables are close sometimes I’ll chat with neighbors, and usually end up chatting with waiter. Most are pretty friendly if you’re alone. Total introvert.

Was just talking to my PT, who travels alone, and she said she never sits at the bar either.

I’m 20+ years older than her, fwiw.

If you’re old, people assume you’re a widowed boomer. If you’re a man in your 20s-50s, people assume you’re an incel. Hipster bars are full of incels sipping craft beer and bourbon. If you’re a woman in your 20s-50s, people assume cat lady or lonely divorcee.

Even if this were true — even if people were noticing you and giving you so much thought that they bothered to assign a whole story — who cares?

So maybe (maybe! if they’re even paying attention, which they’re almost certainly not) they think I’m a cat lady, or divorcee, or widow, or whatever. That’s fine. Have at it, my fellow diners, and bon appetit! As the wise man once said, this is all just a dream we dream one afternoon long ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is just loners romanizing going out to eat alone, usually just because they don’t want to feel even more depressed boozing alone at home. Eating alone sucks. Tipping 25% on a dinner tab so you can pretend to read a book or scroll on your phone in a restaurant is sad. Use DoorDash or Toast and call it a night.

What's sad is that you're so insecure and think they even notice you and much less care.

Not insecurity, I’m just not going to romanticize something that’s factually dreadful. Especially since post Covid, every restaurant has well-oiled carry out, there’s no reason not to simply eat at home or in your hotel.

As for your conversations with staff, you all are just guilt-tripping and essentially coercing servant class workers to talk to you. They rely on tips and obviously don’t want to be stiffed because they gave some chatty loner the cold shoulder.

The reason is…I like it?

Not all the time. Sometimes I’d rather go back to my hotel room and watch The Office, which for some reason is always on in every hotel room I’ve ever stayed in, a fact I find both curious and comforting. But then you’ve got all those plastic takeout containers…so you have to do that thing where you gather all the trash and set the bag quietly outside your door for some mysterious hotel ghost to take away during the night…and even so your hotel room still smells like pho or falafel or whatever…and despite laying down a towel before eating you still got a little soy sauce on your comforter…

Plus restaurants are nice. Sometimes I’d just rather dine in. That’s my reason.

(Fwiw, I’m personally not a chatterer. I’m the airpods-in-ears-don’t-talk-to-me-type. I do tip well, though.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is just loners romanizing going out to eat alone, usually just because they don’t want to feel even more depressed boozing alone at home. Eating alone sucks. Tipping 25% on a dinner tab so you can pretend to read a book or scroll on your phone in a restaurant is sad. Use DoorDash or Toast and call it a night.

What's sad is that you're so insecure and think they even notice you and much less care.

Not insecurity, I’m just not going to romanticize something that’s factually dreadful. Especially since post Covid, every restaurant has well-oiled carry out, there’s no reason not to simply eat at home or in your hotel.

As for your conversations with staff, you all are just guilt-tripping and essentially coercing servant class workers to talk to you. They rely on tips and obviously don’t want to be stiffed because they gave some chatty loner the cold shoulder.

The reason is…I like it?

Not all the time. Sometimes I’d rather go back to my hotel room and watch The Office, which for some reason is always on in every hotel room I’ve ever stayed in, a fact I find both curious and comforting. But then you’ve got all those plastic takeout containers…so you have to do that thing where you gather all the trash and set the bag quietly outside your door for some mysterious hotel ghost to take away during the night…and even so your hotel room still smells like pho or falafel or whatever…and despite laying down a towel before eating you still got a little soy sauce on your comforter…

Plus restaurants are nice. Sometimes I’d just rather dine in. That’s my reason.

(Fwiw, I’m personally not a chatterer. I’m the airpods-in-ears-don’t-talk-to-me-type. I do tip well, though.)

This. I don’t eat in my bedroom at home. I’m not doing it when I travel. Restaurant all the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. You sit at the bar, right? Do you walk in and walk out if the bar has no seats and/or the bar only has one open seat, which means you have to squeeze in tightly between two groups? I think I'd be deeply uncomfortable eating with randoms that close to me on both sides.

I never sit at the bar. Because I don't drink. I only order ice water.

2. What do you do if the bar has no TV? I assume with or without TV, you just play on your phone most of the time? And if no TV, you basically play on your phone the entire time? If there's a TV, at least you can look up and let it occupy chunks of your time.

See #1, but I don't use my phone during meals (except at the end to calculate the tip) - I bring a book. If I were you traveling, I'd bring a Kindle or iPad or whatever to read.

3. Do you tend to eat really quickly when alone? While you're eating, and in-between bites, do you look around or look straight ahead? I don't see any reason to pause, I think I'd just hoover up my food and quickly pay.

I just eat normally. I am not ashamed of eating alone. I eat at a normal pace and read. If there is interesting people-watching I'll look, but generally people are boring so I ignore for the most part.

4. Sort of related to 3, do you give you credit card when you order to speed up cashing out and your exit?

No. There's NO RUSH. I am not eating at some packed restaurant where people are waiting 45 minutes for a table.

In a thread properly dedicated to OP's . . . whatever her problem is, I didn't want to let the bolded to pass unnoticed. I don't know if it's awful math skills, or a refusal to tip one cent more than you "should," but it's absolutely pathetic. Move the decimal point, multiply by two, and round. This does not require the precision of a Swedish engineer.

[Anonymous]

Just eat at a table so you get that space and quietude that you want. In the years past, reading the newspaper was the thing to do. Now you can read the news on your phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you an actual adult?

congrats on being a perfect human. spoiler alert you're not.

NP - I am absolutely not perfect. But I am able to function in society, and small tasks, such as eating alone, don't befuddle me. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is just loners romanizing going out to eat alone, usually just because they don’t want to feel even more depressed boozing alone at home. Eating alone sucks. Tipping 25% on a dinner tab so you can have pretend to read a book or scroll on your phone in a restaurant is sad. Use DoorDash or Toast and call it a night.

I can't imagine going through life with so little imagination that you can't conceive other people enjoy things you don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I eat out a lot frequently. I never sit at the bar. Hate it. I sit at a table and usually bring a book. If the tables are close sometimes I’ll chat with neighbors, and usually end up chatting with waiter. Most are pretty friendly if you’re alone. Total introvert.

Was just talking to my PT, who travels alone, and she said she never sits at the bar either.

I’m 20+ years older than her, fwiw.

There's been a lot of anti-bar sentiment expressed on this thread, so I will chip in and say that I enjoy sitting at the bar. If I want to talk, the bartender is there, as are other patrons. If I don't, no one can make me and I will read my book or phone. Sometimes men hit on me, and I deflect them politely but firmly. There's usually a lot of activity at the bar, which I enjoy.