DH wants me to be a "hotwife"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perverted and depraved.

Go read your bible and then be sure to stay in the religion forum.

Also? Judge not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those who don't know, a hotwife is a married woman who has an open relationship with the full consent of her husband while he stays monogamous. We had a few drinks on Saturday and he confessed to me that this was his fetish. He said it would be a huge turn on to know I was out on dates and then hear the stories.

I was a little shocked and didn't know what to think. I've never even thought of something like this, but now that I've slept on it a few days I'm wondering if it might be fun to experiment.

Has anyone gone done this path?

How do you feel about the fact that he consumes a lot of porn with these theme? Because he does.

He’s a wannabe cuck. How pitiful.

Why would you assume that? People have all sorts of kinks and they're not all derived from weird porn addictions.

NP.

Kink existed millennia prior to the invention of the photograph or video.

There are a few people here on DCUM who simplistically try to blame any/everything on male porn addiction. Ignore them.

Except in this particular instance, the nomenclature derives directly from a porn genre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those who don't know, a hotwife is a married woman who has an open relationship with the full consent of her husband while he stays monogamous. We had a few drinks on Saturday and he confessed to me that this was his fetish. He said it would be a huge turn on to know I was out on dates and then hear the stories.

I was a little shocked and didn't know what to think. I've never even thought of something like this, but now that I've slept on it a few days I'm wondering if it might be fun to experiment.

Has anyone gone done this path?

How do you feel about the fact that he consumes a lot of porn with these theme? Because he does.

He’s a wannabe cuck. How pitiful.

Why would you assume that? People have all sorts of kinks and they're not all derived from weird porn addictions.

It’s absolutely from porn. Likely started from a very young age.

You're saying all kinks come from porn? I disagree.

All? No. Most? Yes. Like by a young boy watching adult content that f***ed with his brain. Feel free to do a modicum of research. You don’t just stumble upon fireplay or shibari on the street.

Ehh, you're looking at the weird s***. I'm talking about a blond fetish, a pregnant fetish, a knee socks fetish.
What's your kink and where did it come from?

Uh a blonde fetish =/= hot wife fetish. Not even close. You’re not even in the same galaxy here.

[Anonymous]

If you want to try it out without involving another person, you can try toys. If it’s a size thing or a race thing, you can find toys that fit this image. Use the toy, then it can be his turn. See how it goes. This, combined with some of pps suggestion of great fiction writing could be fun.

[Anonymous]

I had a BF who was into this but he wanted to watch. He quickly became an ex BF. I’m pretty sure he had a 3 some in mind but that wasn’t going to happen.

[Anonymous]

I bet he likes to watch you have sex with another man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to come up with a scenario that happens during your normal day, come home at night and then tell him you need to tell him something; then relay this super hot story that you’ve come up with. If he’s horrified and sick to his stomach well then this really isn’t for you but if he’s super turned on and you guys have the greatest night ever well then it looks like you found something to play with. The stories don’t have to be based in any sort of fact so you aren’t exposing yourself to any danger or disease nor is your relationship in jeopardy.
Make up some stories, have fun with it there’s no reason you can’t coast on fiction for a few years

I’m approached by guys to be the bull for things like this occasionally (and I’m white BTW). One husband who I know fairly well tells me that while it’s happening he’s both physically ill and very turned on. There are plenty of men like this around and plenty of women who enjoy the excitement they get from it. It can work. DC has a reasonably active lifestyle community so maybe get to know some of them at a local munch and see if this is for you.

[Anonymous]

As a Gen Xer may I just say I have no judgement for whatever folks are into, as long as it’s consensual, it’s all good.

I am also so glad to not be in a millennial or Gen Z marriage navigating spousal issues that are essentially a fetish subreddit come to life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a Gen Xer may I just say I have no judgement for whatever folks are into, as long as it’s consensual, it’s all good.

I am also so glad to not be in a millennial or Gen Z marriage navigating spousal issues that are essentially a fetish subreddit come to life.

Gen Z is apparently super-prude.

But point taken. Lots of men are pr0nsick these days.

[Anonymous]

Some things should really remain a fantasy. Why can’t you just wear super slutty lingerie and watch his favorite porn genre? Then you can talk absolute filth and focus on different elements, how huge the guy was or whatever and gauge his reaction to find out where his sweet spot is. Then just lean into this with future porn watching and role play. Introduce toys or buy new, wilder ones. It’s really an elegant sufficiency and you have to draw the line. If you give a mouse a cookie..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes and no. We flew to where sex work is legal and hired a professional to help us act out this fantasy.
It was fun and something that we talk about all of the time.

Why do other people seem to have so much more time than I do? I am lying awake trying to figure out the carve out tomorrow when I can do an instacart order

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes and no. We flew to where sex work is legal and hired a professional to help us act out this fantasy.
It was fun and something that we talk about all of the time.

Why do other people seem to have so much more time than I do? I am lying awake trying to figure out the carve out tomorrow when I can do an instacart order

You should plan a trip, pp. See if you can plan to get a few days off work this fall and go somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Some things should really remain a fantasy. Why can’t you just wear super slutty lingerie and watch his favorite porn genre? Then you can talk absolute filth and focus on different elements, how huge the guy was or whatever and gauge his reaction to find out where his sweet spot is. Then just lean into this with future porn watching and role play. Introduce toys or buy new, wilder ones. It’s really an elegant sufficiency and you have to draw the line. If you give a mouse a cookie..

Im not onto other guys having sex with my wife, but that would actually be fun watching all different forms of porn and having DW comment on it

[Anonymous]

As a man who has this fantasy, take it slow. Somethings are just meant to be fantasy, and in that sense there is nothing wrong with that.

Start with roleplay, stories, and so on. I highly recommend 'fake' going through with it to judge his real reaction. There's a good chance he doesn't know how he will really react, and there is a huge mood swing that comes with the release. It can be the hottest thing for him, followed by weeks of sulking and depression, that could ultimately end the relationship.

Take it slow, do what's fun, do what's in consent, and be wary of outside partners who don't value BOTH of your feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Some things should really remain a fantasy. Why can’t you just wear super slutty lingerie and watch his favorite porn genre? Then you can talk absolute filth and focus on different elements, how huge the guy was or whatever and gauge his reaction to find out where his sweet spot is. Then just lean into this with future porn watching and role play. Introduce toys or buy new, wilder ones. It’s really an elegant sufficiency and you have to draw the line. If you give a mouse a cookie..

Im not onto other guys having sex with my wife, but that would actually be fun watching all different forms of porn and having DW comment on it

DP...We tried this once (it was her idea even) but every comment was along the lines of "this is terrible." Oh well, I'll give her points for trying.