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How long did you date before getting married and how long did it last/is it lasting?
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Anonymous
I married at 24 and I don't find it offensive at all.....UNLESS, as you are saying, the daughter doesn't want to get married. If she is with someone she wants to marry who is not proposing (and he knows it) this is a good rule of thumb. Likewise, if he is in a work-related situation that makes it difficult and it is obvious that he intends to marry her. Otherwise, she needs to get rid of him. |
Anonymous
This. |
Anonymous
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3 wks -> 16 years.
Results may vary. |
Anonymous
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I was very close friends with DH for 4 years (we met at freshman orientation activities in college), then we dated for 14 months starting the fall after graduation, were engaged for 9 months, and we have now been married for 16 years. DD is almost 2 and has brought us more joy than I ever imagined was possible.
While I kind of agree with many PPs about the importance of age, I think it is maturity that is the issue more so than age, it is just that maturity typically is more likely to be present when you are older. I actually proved myself wrong about the age thing--getting married when I was 23 was something I never thought I'd do. I always figured I'd get married when I was in my 30s or something--marriage was never a priority for me when I was young, it was all about the career. But once we finally started dating, it was just so right. I knew right away he was the one because we were so connected on so many levels. Our close friends always call us soul mates, and I do believe that about us. But I also think that if we had started dating earlier in our friendship it wouldn't have worked. We both went through several other relationships during our college years that I think we both needed to go through to grow and develop into who we were when we finally did start dating. So OP, think about you and the new BF in terms of maturity for both of you. What have both of you learned from your past relationships about who you are, what you want and need from a relationship, what your expectations for your life are going forward, how you both see the role and expectations of your life partner in those expectations, and last but absolutely not least, how raising DC (current and any future ones) fits into the future expectations for both you and BF (and this encompasses all aspects of child rearing, support, discipline, activities, dealing with ex, etc.)? Are you and the new BF in sync with all those wants and needs on all of those issues? Where there are differences, can you talk through them easily and honestly, without anger, resentment, or denial? I think assessment and discussions along those lines will be more helpful to you in assessing your future prospects with BF than knowing the length of strangers' relationships. And finally, remember that a lot can change during a year apart. Depending on the type of overseas experience, it can really change what a person thinks is important and how they think and feel about things. So even if all is in sync now, make sure it is all still in sync when BF returns from overseas. |
Anonymous
I was the one who did not spell definitely correctly. I am glad to see you outed yourself in your moment of bitchiness AND poor spelling. There is hope yet.... |
Anonymous
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"I will tell my daughters that after they turn 25 they should not stay with a man more than 2 years if he does not propose. The ugly truth is that women do have a sell-by date and many men have no problem wasting a girl's best years. "
Hopefully your daughters won't be as stupid & sexist as you are, and will ignore your advice. |
Anonymous
| We dated for 3 years, engaged for 1 year, and married for 10 years. |