How long did you date before getting married and how long did it last/is it lasting?

[Anonymous]

I have a cousin who dated a girl for 10 years. They got married and were together for a year and some change before calling it quits. I have a good friend who met a guy and within six months they were married. They've been together for 6 years and seem happier than ever. I have been dating a guy for about 4 months and we can't get enough of each other. We have problems too, it's not like it's a honeymoon thing where everything is perfect, but we are able to work through issues like I've never been able to before with anybody. He was just added to my lease and even though he's working overseas for a year, everything indicates we'll be living together once he comes back. He's mentioned a few times that when he comes back, he'll be ready to settle down and get married. My heart tells me it feels right and he's the man of my dreams. My head tells me that it's only been 4 months. What do I do? To be fair, during these 4 months we have been spending almost all our free time together, whether at home or traveling, going out, etc. I have met his immediate family and he has met my closest friends (I don't have family here). So how long did you get married/proposed to after you started dating your husband? How did that work out?

[Anonymous]

2.5 years dating/23 years married.

[Anonymous]

dated 5 yrs and married for 11.5 yrs.

[Anonymous]

6 years dating. 9 years married. Loving everyday of it....even the shitty ones. Time to see if something is right is NEVER a bad thing, but only when communication is clear and everyone is on the same page with how everything is progressing.

He is overseas for a year? DEFINATELY wait when he gets back and just ENJOY each other. If it is right, it will be right 1 year after he gets back! Divorce is painful and expensive, tread lightly.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

14 months from first date to marriage. We have now been married six years (I know, not really long), and everything is really wonderful. Two kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:14 months from first date to marriage. We have now been married six years (I know, not really long), and everything is really wonderful. Two kids.

Oh, and maybe more important, we knew from about four weeks into dating that we would get married.

[Anonymous]

dated 4 years and married 4 years-doing great and love each other more every day-first person I have ever been with where I can say this.

[Anonymous]

dated 2 months, engaged 8 months, married 23 years

[Anonymous]

dated 3 years married for 1 year 1 child 2mo old and happier than ever.
my mom and dad dated for 7 months and they've been married for 30 years.
dh's parents dated for 3 months and they've been married for 40 years.

[Anonymous]

Dated 1.5 years, engaged 10 months...married 4 years so far and happier than ever. I knew from the first date that we would get married.

[Anonymous]

Dated for two years, married for 14.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you have kids? If so, you need to be way more cautious. If not, why are you posting on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

OP, learn how to be a less boring writer.

[Anonymous]

dated 3.5 yrs, 10 month engagement, married 10 years, 4 yrs before pregnancy. Pretty darned happy.

I think even more important than time dating are age and maturity. People in their late 30s generally have a better sense of what they want/need in a life partner than someone who is 22. A 37 year old has a better sense of self, too. And regardless of age, you both need to accept that good relationships don't just "happen", but are sustained with effort.

Are you better individuals because of your relationship? Do you bring out the best in each other and encourage each other's growth? Do you fight fair? Are you able to compromise or reach resolutions together? Do you have similar desires and tastes (kids, type of life: city or rural, nascar or golf, etc)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you have kids? If so, you need to be way more cautious. If not, why are you posting on DCUM?

Yes, I do. My child adores him and vice-versa. DC already calls his nieces "cousins" and looks for him when we get home. FWIW: My child has NEVER met anybody I've dated because I do agree with you that when you have kids you need to be more cautious. But this man does more for my child than my ex has ever done. School pick up, buying shoes, reading books before bed. He has done nothing to my child but adding positive things and memories. The only worry I have regarding him and DC is that he'll be gone for a year and DC will miss him a lot.