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How long did you date before getting married and how long did it last/is it lasting?
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Anonymous
| Dated 2 years and 2 months; engaged six months; married almost five years. |
Anonymous
Maybe you can give me some lessons. Although, to be honest, my post had to intentions of amusing anyone, it was just a question with a little background. Not all posts here need to become a soap opera. |
Anonymous
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If you are looking for others experiences to make you feel better about a choice, don't do it. I dated a guy for a few months had had that "he is definetly the one" experience. I remember thinking I was finally experiencing what people told me about - that feeling that you finally found the one.
Then about 2 weeks later, I found out he had basically been faking - he did a lot of things he knew I would like, but it wasn't his real personality. Things quickly fell apart. Who did I marry (and have been married for 8 years). The guy I dated for four years, broke up with, and dated again for several years. Was in a whirlwind romance? No, but we had defintly seen it all by the time we got married. But I also have friends that got engaged after a few months of dating and have had successful marriages. It's about the people themselves, not the length of time. |
Anonymous
OP here: Yes, you're right. I guess I was more looking to make sense of everything and see all kinds of experiences out there, not to make a decision based on the answers I get here. But you had sound advice, so thank you. |
Anonymous
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Why wait for one year apart to get married?
And honestly, if he's already part of your lease and involved so deeply in your child's life signing a piece of paper has very little meaning... |
Anonymous
Dated for 5 years (and lived together for 4 of those 5 years), engaged for 1 yr, married 5 years with one kid and one on the way. Things are pretty great 
I also knew that I was going to marry him after a few dates, so if you feel that it is right, go for it! But definitely wait until he comes back from being away for the year and wait a while after he gets back too. Just to be sure . |
Anonymous
| Dated 6 months. Engaged 1 1/2 years. Married (happily!) for 3 years now. |
Anonymous
| 12:34 here, we started dating when we were 20 and got married at 26 so age you were when dating/got married does not necessarily determine whether or not it will last. But I do know two people who were married and divorced by the time they were 23!!! |
Anonymous
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I actually know quite a few couples who dated for ages before marrying, who then divorced quickly. And several couples who dated one person for YEARS (5-8) and then broke up and married the next person after dating them for 6 months. I also know more than a few couples who dated for extremely short periods before marrying, and they seem to be strong couples.
I think sometimes it is possible to "just know", especially if you know you know yourself well and you aren't afraid to ask the hard questions when you're dating, and if you are lucky enough to find someone who really suits you. I'm 38 and have dated a lot. I know myself well and know what would likely make me happy, so I doubt I'd wait very long if I found the "right" person. (or "a" right person.) I think sometimes what happens with couples who have dated for ages without getting married, is that they don't get married sooner because one or both people isn't sure about the relationship, but they eventually marry because of pressure or inertia. And then they realize they're not working and end it. I think you just need to keep in mind your own history. If you have a habit of jumping into things that don't work out, then tread a little more cautiously. Otherwise, good luck! |
Anonymous
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"Date".
It is not 1950 no matter how you decide to phrase this in your head. Proceed with extreme caution here. Marriage is a legal construct, to put it plainly. The length of time devoted to procuring the married state is irrelevant. The motivationfor the marriage usually is the key ingredient to longevity. |
Anonymous
| I'm amazed by the lack of posts here concerning OP's child. Troll? |
Anonymous
| Dated my husband for about 2 years before we got married and have been married for almost 10. My mother, on the other hand, got engaged to my stepfather a month after they met, married four months after that and have been married for 17 years. He's one of the best men I've ever met, and I admire their marriage so much. When I first asked my mom why she was rushing into marriage with him she said, "When you know, you know." |
Anonymous
| Dated 6 years before getting married, lived together for 5 of the 6. Married 8 years so far and still going strong. |
Anonymous
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"we can't get enough of each other. " before mentioning the kid is a BIG RED FLAG.
"I do agree with you that when you have kids you need to be more cautious" How have you been cautious? |
Anonymous
OP here: Sorry, but my child is my number 1 priority and I have no interest in sharing with you the ways I go about making sure my child is safe. I didn't mention my child on the OP because I didn't want it to become a post about my child and if I, as a single mom should be dating. This is not what this post is about. If that bothers you, feel free to move on to another post. |