SAHM friend divorcing against her will

[Anonymous]

She will get child support if the child is his

She will not get alimony she signed a prenup.


If she is in a Ted state she will get neither

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her storing is compelling: prenup was presented 3 days before marriage, long marriage, shared child, hasn’t worked for a long time because she cared for the child, recently survived cancer and her husband left her after her double mastectomy. A good attorney should be able to do something with those facts.

Stupid question...but assuming the XH is going to drag this divorce out for years and this woman has no money...what attorney agrees to work for free during what could be a multi-year period and get compensated at the end?

Very common to get legal fees paid by the moneyed party in a divorce like this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is college educated and thus there is no reason she shouldn't have a full time job. If he died she'd get a job.

You’re delusional. She is a nearly 50 year old cancer survivor. Jobs don’t actually grow on trees; it will be very difficult if not impossible for her to find gainful employment.

The OP of the post is right, this is how judges think. There's zero compassion or understanding. Most judges are men and lots are conservative.

Matrimonial judges tend to be women fwiw. And they are unlikely to see much of the inside of a court room. They will be strongly encouraged to mediate by the court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the state but a prenup he sprung on her three days before? That could get thrown out. That's seen as duress by some states.

But that does not mean she will get alimony. Not for more than a year or two. Most women don't get alimony for long these days. She SHOULD get child support tho.

Not entirely true - depends on the state. Here in Va, the standard is alimony for half of the length of the marriage and anything over 20 years your looking at potential lifetime alimony (assuming there’s a discrepancy in incomes - which there is in OPs friends case).

Even so, most women still don't get alimony. Often men don't make enough to support two households. Married 10 years, fed attorney husband, I worked and no alimony.

Well yeah, alimony is nit intended for spouses who can clearly support themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the state but a prenup he sprung on her three days before? That could get thrown out. That's seen as duress by some states.

But that does not mean she will get alimony. Not for more than a year or two. Most women don't get alimony for long these days. She SHOULD get child support tho.

Not entirely true - depends on the state. Here in Va, the standard is alimony for half of the length of the marriage and anything over 20 years your looking at potential lifetime alimony (assuming there’s a discrepancy in incomes - which there is in OPs friends case).

Even so, most women still don't get alimony. Often men don't make enough to support two households. Married 10 years, fed attorney husband, I worked and no alimony.

Well yeah, alimony is nit intended for spouses who can clearly support themselves.

You mean like every able bodied adult? Great, sounds like you both are on the same page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow. I hope karma gets that man. Big hugs to your friend.

Sure. But OPs friend needs to take some responsibility here. The pre nup should have been a red flag to not make her life 100% dependent on him.

+1. plus unless the child has SN, there is really no reason a woman with a college education does not work at all if she does not have her own money. I can see a situation where the H makes tons of money and is busy and the kid has lots of activities and both parents make the decision to have the mother stay home to keep the home front working and organized while the H is busy at work. but the joint decision must be reflected in protections for the wife (i.e. significant life insurance if H dies, savings and assets that are also in her name and so on). when somebody tells you even before the marriage that what he has is his and that he does not intend to pay alimony if he leaves you, you better believe him and either move on, or get and keep a good job for yourself. OP's friend will need a very good health insurance being a cancer survivor.

Np. What is wrong with you people???

I completely agree with PP. That's how mature adults think and prepare.

So her ex should live large while taxpayers support the woman who raised his children...

You and the PP with whom you are agreeing are not mature.

How in the world did you get THAT from what we said?

What did you think you were saying? Whether she should take responsibility or not is irrelevant at this point. She should get alimony and child support. That is all that matters at this point.

And she most certainly will get child support. Alimony will be an uphil road. And no taxpayers are not going to pay for the care of a wealthy man. That’s ludicrous. We all make choices. She didn’t plan properly. Still not sure how you got from A to B but I don’t care enough to argue with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the state but a prenup he sprung on her three days before? That could get thrown out. That's seen as duress by some states.

But that does not mean she will get alimony. Not for more than a year or two. Most women don't get alimony for long these days. She SHOULD get child support tho.

Not entirely true - depends on the state. Here in Va, the standard is alimony for half of the length of the marriage and anything over 20 years your looking at potential lifetime alimony (assuming there’s a discrepancy in incomes - which there is in OPs friends case).

Even so, most women still don't get alimony. Often men don't make enough to support two households. Married 10 years, fed attorney husband, I worked and no alimony.

Well yeah, alimony is nit intended for spouses who can clearly support themselves.

You mean like every able bodied adult? Great, sounds like you both are on the same page.

OP’s friend doesn’t have a work history and is dealing with breast cancer. I would think alimony is a reasonable request.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the state but a prenup he sprung on her three days before? That could get thrown out. That's seen as duress by some states.

But that does not mean she will get alimony. Not for more than a year or two. Most women don't get alimony for long these days. She SHOULD get child support tho.

Not entirely true - depends on the state. Here in Va, the standard is alimony for half of the length of the marriage and anything over 20 years your looking at potential lifetime alimony (assuming there’s a discrepancy in incomes - which there is in OPs friends case).

Even so, most women still don't get alimony. Often men don't make enough to support two households. Married 10 years, fed attorney husband, I worked and no alimony.

Well yeah, alimony is nit intended for spouses who can clearly support themselves.

Many women have this funny idea they're entitled to alimony based on gender, not income. If you outearned your XH leading up to the divorce, and were very accustomed to spending his money, then if anything, you owe him.

[Anonymous]

Assuming she is a competent adult, she chose to sign the pre up, she chose to marry this guy, she chose not to work, she chose not to take on any financial responsibility for herself or her daughter and to be completely dependent on someone else. These were all her shoo wa which I assumed she thought through and make the decision on, not while under duress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming she is a competent adult, she chose to sign the pre up, she chose to marry this guy, she chose not to work, she chose not to take on any financial responsibility for herself or her daughter and to be completely dependent on someone else. These were all her shoo wa which I assumed she thought through and make the decision on, not while under duress.

Lots of angry male incel types on here.

Op, your friend will get half their assets, child support and likely alimony although that is more of a lift given the prenup but it is likely to be set aside, especially considering the circumstances.

Big hug to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the state but a prenup he sprung on her three days before? That could get thrown out. That's seen as duress by some states.

But that does not mean she will get alimony. Not for more than a year or two. Most women don't get alimony for long these days. She SHOULD get child support tho.

Not entirely true - depends on the state. Here in Va, the standard is alimony for half of the length of the marriage and anything over 20 years your looking at potential lifetime alimony (assuming there’s a discrepancy in incomes - which there is in OPs friends case).

Even so, most women still don't get alimony. Often men don't make enough to support two households. Married 10 years, fed attorney husband, I worked and no alimony.

Well yeah, alimony is nit intended for spouses who can clearly support themselves.

You mean like every able bodied adult? Great, sounds like you both are on the same page.

OP’s friend doesn’t have a work history and is dealing with breast cancer. I would think alimony is a reasonable request.

She worked until at least 30, and is in remission. Alimony is a crazy request in this day and age. Some people are just incredibly lazy and don't want to work. They are fully capable of supporting themselves, they just choose not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming she is a competent adult, she chose to sign the pre up, she chose to marry this guy, she chose not to work, she chose not to take on any financial responsibility for herself or her daughter and to be completely dependent on someone else. These were all her shoo wa which I assumed she thought through and make the decision on, not while under duress.

Lots of angry male incel types on here.

Op, your friend will get half their assets, child support and likely alimony although that is more of a lift given the prenup but it is likely to be set aside, especially considering the circumstances.

Big hug to her.

The law doesnt really care about circumstances. She signed a contract to waive any alimony. Not sure your legal background or why you think it's 'likely' to be set aside, but you sound mildly delusional. Or at least have not dealt with this very recently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is college educated and thus there is no reason she shouldn't have a full time job. If he died she'd get a job.

You’re delusional. She is a nearly 50 year old cancer survivor. Jobs don’t actually grow on trees; it will be very difficult if not impossible for her to find gainful employment.

pretty sure she can find a job even at that age, just not a high paying one.

And the fact that she can't find a high paying one because she gave up her career to take care of his family is precisely why alimony and settlements exist.

Yup. I know DCUM professional women think it’s feminist to hate on SAHMs, but this woman can’t just magically start supporting herself and her kid even with a college degree. Her husband used her and is attempting to screw her over, and I hope she takes him to the cleaners.

Don't be an azz. Feminists do not hate on SAHMs. That's bs. I agree with the rest of what you say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is college educated and thus there is no reason she shouldn't have a full time job. If he died she'd get a job.

You’re delusional. She is a nearly 50 year old cancer survivor. Jobs don’t actually grow on trees; it will be very difficult if not impossible for her to find gainful employment.

pretty sure she can find a job even at that age, just not a high paying one.

And the fact that she can't find a high paying one because she gave up her career to take care of his family is precisely why alimony and settlements exist.

Yup. I know DCUM professional women think it’s feminist to hate on SAHMs, but this woman can’t just magically start supporting herself and her kid even with a college degree. Her husband used her and is attempting to screw her over, and I hope she takes him to the cleaners.

Don't be an azz. Feminists do not hate on SAHMs. That's bs. I agree with the rest of what you say.

Meh, this board has a lot of hate for SAHM’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow. I hope karma gets that man. Big hugs to your friend.

Sure. But OPs friend needs to take some responsibility here. The pre nup should have been a red flag to not make her life 100% dependent on him.

+1. plus unless the child has SN, there is really no reason a woman with a college education does not work at all if she does not have her own money. I can see a situation where the H makes tons of money and is busy and the kid has lots of activities and both parents make the decision to have the mother stay home to keep the home front working and organized while the H is busy at work. but the joint decision must be reflected in protections for the wife (i.e. significant life insurance if H dies, savings and assets that are also in her name and so on). when somebody tells you even before the marriage that what he has is his and that he does not intend to pay alimony if he leaves you, you better believe him and either move on, or get and keep a good job for yourself. OP's friend will need a very good health insurance being a cancer survivor.

Np. What is wrong with you people???

I completely agree with PP. That's how mature adults think and prepare.

So her ex should live large while taxpayers support the woman who raised his children...

You and the PP with whom you are agreeing are not mature.

How in the world did you get THAT from what we said?

What did you think you were saying? Whether she should take responsibility or not is irrelevant at this point. She should get alimony and child support. That is all that matters at this point.

And she most certainly will get child support. Alimony will be an uphil road. And no taxpayers are not going to pay for the care of a wealthy man. That’s ludicrous. We all make choices. She didn’t plan properly. Still not sure how you got from A to B but I don’t care enough to argue with you.

Let me break it down for you: A 47 year old woman who has not worked in at least 18 years is probably not going to earn enough money in her lifetime to be self sufficient in her elderly years.

If her idiot ex does not contribute financially by paying alimony, then you and I most likely will support her.