How are you preparing your children for downward mobility?

[Anonymous]

Wow as a downwardly mobile-feeling MC person (grew up MC in a LCOL rural area, well educated and doing fine now but housing is noticeably worse), this thread is kind of eye opening and depressing.

I think there was only ONE post in 3 pages that talked about community, church, etc. But people who don't have fortunes to leave to their kids and can't "outsource everything" actually do depend on others more, and help others more. Also, life is more pleasant with a community. These are critically important values and experiences for me to pass on to my kids. The individualistic mindset here is really striking.

Second, work ethic is important and jobs in high school help with that, but they certainly won't give your kid the drive to rise above the rabble and become UMC. Plenty of people who worked in my high school are still in my hometown, working at auto shops and call centers and so on. Not sure what lesson that's supposed to teach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why prepare now? Dance until the music stops.

This sounds very pretty, but what does it mean in practical terms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow as a downwardly mobile-feeling MC person (grew up MC in a LCOL rural area, well educated and doing fine now but housing is noticeably worse), this thread is kind of eye opening and depressing.

I think there was only ONE post in 3 pages that talked about community, church, etc. But people who don't have fortunes to leave to their kids and can't "outsource everything" actually do depend on others more, and help others more. Also, life is more pleasant with a community. These are critically important values and experiences for me to pass on to my kids. The individualistic mindset here is really striking.

Second, work ethic is important and jobs in high school help with that, but they certainly won't give your kid the drive to rise above the rabble and become UMC. Plenty of people who worked in my high school are still in my hometown, working at auto shops and call centers and so on. Not sure what lesson that's supposed to teach.

That’s true! And I have recently joined a church and go consistently. But as a typical American, I don’t consider leaning on community. That needs to change!

[Anonymous]

I think about this a lot. The odds all 3 of my kids (or even just 1 of them) achieve the success of DH and I is minuscule. We come from rural MC families so we have a value system aligned with hard work, good education, lots of hustle that I hope sinks in but we live in a huge house and take amazing vacations all the time. The best I can do is teach them about personal finance and being a good person. And to not count on us for money (though I bet we’ll be the grandparents paying for private school tuition like I read about all the time on these boards).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow as a downwardly mobile-feeling MC person (grew up MC in a LCOL rural area, well educated and doing fine now but housing is noticeably worse), this thread is kind of eye opening and depressing.

I think there was only ONE post in 3 pages that talked about community, church, etc. But people who don't have fortunes to leave to their kids and can't "outsource everything" actually do depend on others more, and help others more. Also, life is more pleasant with a community. These are critically important values and experiences for me to pass on to my kids. The individualistic mindset here is really striking.

Second, work ethic is important and jobs in high school help with that, but they certainly won't give your kid the drive to rise above the rabble and become UMC. Plenty of people who worked in my high school are still in my hometown, working at auto shops and call centers and so on. Not sure what lesson that's supposed to teach.

That’s true! And I have recently joined a church and go consistently. But as a typical American, I don’t consider leaning on community. That needs to change!

What I think both of you are missing is that people lean on community for community... not for money.

What the people who are worried about their kids being downwardly mobile is that they lack any community. They were work, work, work, study, buy things, travel, work.

That is no life and kids see that so they don't even see the benefit of this horrible life.

Friendship/Family/Community/Nature/Caring/Giving/health these make for a good life not money.

[Anonymous]

I raised mine to be frugal, to use what they have at hand, and expected them to pay for their cell phone, car insurance, extra clothing shoes toiletries above a certain amount- since age 15. I discuss interest rates and bills so they understand cost of living. We look at avg monthly payment of nice houses on Zillow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow as a downwardly mobile-feeling MC person (grew up MC in a LCOL rural area, well educated and doing fine now but housing is noticeably worse), this thread is kind of eye opening and depressing.

I think there was only ONE post in 3 pages that talked about community, church, etc. But people who don't have fortunes to leave to their kids and can't "outsource everything" actually do depend on others more, and help others more. Also, life is more pleasant with a community. These are critically important values and experiences for me to pass on to my kids. The individualistic mindset here is really striking.

Second, work ethic is important and jobs in high school help with that, but they certainly won't give your kid the drive to rise above the rabble and become UMC. Plenty of people who worked in my high school are still in my hometown, working at auto shops and call centers and so on. Not sure what lesson that's supposed to teach.

That’s true! And I have recently joined a church and go consistently. But as a typical American, I don’t consider leaning on community. That needs to change!

What I think both of you are missing is that people lean on community for community... not for money.

What the people who are worried about their kids being downwardly mobile is that they lack any community. They were work, work, work, study, buy things, travel, work.

That is no life and kids see that so they don't even see the benefit of this horrible life.

Friendship/Family/Community/Nature/Caring/Giving/health these make for a good life not money.

Well, yeah. I'm the PP who said community is important. It's not to ask them for money. Also you don't just get a community without being a part of it for others too.

I feel like I live the life a lot of DCUM fears and it's really...just fine. Like, don't waste your energy worrying your kids will wind up like me, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow as a downwardly mobile-feeling MC person (grew up MC in a LCOL rural area, well educated and doing fine now but housing is noticeably worse), this thread is kind of eye opening and depressing.

I think there was only ONE post in 3 pages that talked about community, church, etc. But people who don't have fortunes to leave to their kids and can't "outsource everything" actually do depend on others more, and help others more. Also, life is more pleasant with a community. These are critically important values and experiences for me to pass on to my kids. The individualistic mindset here is really striking.

Second, work ethic is important and jobs in high school help with that, but they certainly won't give your kid the drive to rise above the rabble and become UMC. Plenty of people who worked in my high school are still in my hometown, working at auto shops and call centers and so on. Not sure what lesson that's supposed to teach.

That’s true! And I have recently joined a church and go consistently. But as a typical American, I don’t consider leaning on community. That needs to change!

What I think both of you are missing is that people lean on community for community... not for money.

What the people who are worried about their kids being downwardly mobile is that they lack any community. They were work, work, work, study, buy things, travel, work.

That is no life and kids see that so they don't even see the benefit of this horrible life.

Friendship/Family/Community/Nature/Caring/Giving/health these make for a good life not money.

That’s not me. I am just addicted to this site. But I’m also happy when my high schooler gets a C in low math because it’s not his subject.

Finding a faith community has really improved my life. It’s nice to be with people who aren’t all about achievement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't worry about my kids I worry about my grandkids. My kids have trust funds I can't take from them. I want them to go into stable careers even though they don't have to.

Why don’t you create generation skipping trusts if you’re worried about the grandchildren?

I don't control my kids' trusts. Long story. But we are telling them we're not paying $100k for them to major in dance. They can go be lawyers like everyone in our family ten generations back and add to the pot.

Yes, ten more generations of being miserable and accumulating a massive hoard of gold that doesn’t even glitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the heck is downward mobility?

UMC to MC

Unlikely if they go to a decent college and graduate with a useful degree

Not at all. It's the experience of 30-50 year olds, people of my generation, in the US, Europe and Japan. This is why there is so much discontent and voters who support extreme left or extreme right parties in multiple democracies around the world. They feel they've been robbed, because with their background and degrees, they expected at least the lifestyle of their parents.

Uh it’s not the children of rich folk who are filling these mass movements.

[Anonymous]

Not a week goes by without someone posting about how they discovered their Chevy Chase neighbors are living in their parents’ house or having their kids’ fancy private school paid by the grandparents.

There is no need to “prepare” because this is what people will be doing. The generationally wealthy will stay wealthy, just as they have always done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow as a downwardly mobile-feeling MC person (grew up MC in a LCOL rural area, well educated and doing fine now but housing is noticeably worse), this thread is kind of eye opening and depressing.

I think there was only ONE post in 3 pages that talked about community, church, etc. But people who don't have fortunes to leave to their kids and can't "outsource everything" actually do depend on others more, and help others more. Also, life is more pleasant with a community. These are critically important values and experiences for me to pass on to my kids. The individualistic mindset here is really striking.

Second, work ethic is important and jobs in high school help with that, but they certainly won't give your kid the drive to rise above the rabble and become UMC. Plenty of people who worked in my high school are still in my hometown, working at auto shops and call centers and so on. Not sure what lesson that's supposed to teach.

That’s true! And I have recently joined a church and go consistently. But as a typical American, I don’t consider leaning on community. That needs to change!

What I think both of you are missing is that people lean on community for community... not for money.

What the people who are worried about their kids being downwardly mobile is that they lack any community. They were work, work, work, study, buy things, travel, work.

That is no life and kids see that so they don't even see the benefit of this horrible life.

Friendship/Family/Community/Nature/Caring/Giving/health these make for a good life not money.

That’s not me. I am just addicted to this site. But I’m also happy when my high schooler gets a C in low math because it’s not his subject.

Finding a faith community has really improved my life. It’s nice to be with people who aren’t all about achievement.

I agree but also many in the faith community are about achievement, hate certain people and are judgemental.

I say find good people whether it is in a faith community or not. Glad you found yours in a faith community. That's not an option for all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a week goes by without someone posting about how they discovered their Chevy Chase neighbors are living in their parents’ house or having their kids’ fancy private school paid by the grandparents.

There is no need to “prepare” because this is what people will be doing. The generationally wealthy will stay wealthy, just as they have always done.

Also CC/Rockville/Kensington/Bethesda are all federally subsidized red line neighborhoods when they were created so even their parents didn't get there on "hard work".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make them work service jobs in high school

This is a good exercise but has nothing to do with preparing your UMC children for downward mobility

[Anonymous]

I adjusted. Growing up we had a maid and a chauffeur.