The insanity of 1%er East Coast parents and college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, life would be much easier if we lived in bumble town North Dakota and my kid just applied to State U or Directional State U. I am somewhat envious of that.

But we are not there.

What? Are you disgruntled because you are a 1%er with a kid who wants to go to an elite school because of name and thinks their wealth makes them entitled ? Those days were over a generation ago. Mine are at different ivies. We are top3% income ie full pay & make it work because we saved. Most there are on aid. Smart is the new rich. Me and many of my elite college peers went there highly aided in the 90s, now we make enough for our kids to be full pay. Since they are as smart or smarter than we are they got in just fine no hooks (in fact their demographic is a bit of a negative yet they still got in). There are plenty of non elite but still T75 for 1% wealth who are not in the top% of smarts/talent.

exactly!! These families I am talking about *actively and expressly* talk about how disadvantaged they are by their privilege.

You're right that they're disadvantaged. So where is the privilege?

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pretentiousness of some of the DCUM are the primary reason I’m still hanging around this forum. The way they look down their noses at flyover country and the south is hilarious. Clueless, entitled elitism on display. I’m here for it. Thanks to OP for coaxing it out into the sunshine. 😂

Rich southerners are the snobbiest of all

Absolutely not. At least they can have fun and don't take themselves as seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think this is limited to the 1% you have blinkers on.

True but the point is it’s most insane for the 1%ers.

NO. It is easier for 1%. The degree to which it is "most insane" is entirely a dynamic they magic out of their own neuroses and has absolutely ZERO to do with actual limitations on their options.

The 1%ers who choose to go the route of massive donations or spending enormous sums on private school/test prep/college advising/etc. in order to guarantee their kids entry into one of a very narrow range of schools are just being stupid. That's it. It's a stupid game akin to the billionaires who compete over who has the biggest yacht. Only worse because in this scenario their children are the yachts and their educations are being used in a d*ck-measuring contest. Gross. But not actually that hard to opt out of. Just don't.

We are in the top 1% or .5%. I grew up as a poor immigrant kid. I was equally focused, if not more, than my current high school student. Education was my ticket out of poverty. There was no back up plan. My rich kid can go to any school and will probably do fine.

Ambition and striving are popular to put down on DCUM. I wonder if this is what non ambitious say. I hear this in real life from adults who come from family money, but are unimpressive themselves or have unimpressive children. They call the achieving people strivers and look down on them.

I am proud of my achievements. I am proud of my children’s achievements.

[Anonymous]

What 1% are you talking about?
Income in the 99th percentile?
Or kids in the 99th percentile of test scores?

I'd like to know where this insult is aiming at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re in a stage of “elite overproduction”. There are only so many seats in the very top schools, and more children of the elite seeking to fill them. It’s a game of musical chairs with too many players. Hence the panic.

Peter Turchin’s book “End Times” outlined the phenomena and it’s fascinating to watch it happening in real time.

What else does it say?

This post outlines his ideas pretty well. I found it a very interesting read. https://fairnessfoundation.com/posts/end-times

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What 1% are you talking about?
Income in the 99th percentile?
Or kids in the 99th percentile of test scores?

I'd like to know where this insult is aiming at.

Pretty sure op meant 1% wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, life would be much easier if we lived in bumble town North Dakota and my kid just applied to State U or Directional State U. I am somewhat envious of that.

But we are not there.

What? Are you disgruntled because you are a 1%er with a kid who wants to go to an elite school because of name and thinks their wealth makes them entitled ? Those days were over a generation ago. Mine are at different ivies. We are top3% income ie full pay & make it work because we saved. Most there are on aid. Smart is the new rich. Me and many of my elite college peers went there highly aided in the 90s, now we make enough for our kids to be full pay. Since they are as smart or smarter than we are they got in just fine no hooks (in fact their demographic is a bit of a negative yet they still got in). There are plenty of non elite but still T75 for 1% wealth who are not in the top% of smarts/talent.

I’m not sure how you got that from my post. I was merely trying to say that my family is fully in the college rat race, as I was 30 years ago, and that’s our life. If I wanted to live somewhere where college admissions is not such a big deal, I would, but I don’t want to.

I identify with this sentiment. My husband and I are not from the US originally. In our home countries, it's been cutthroat for ages. The US had sleepy college admissions until recently, and that's why so many privileged American parents are disgruntled now.

I just accept that this is how it is. I don't freak out, or panic, or get angry. We will get through it, like we get through most things in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think this is limited to the 1% you have blinkers on.

True but the point is it’s most insane for the 1%ers.

NO. It is easier for 1%. The degree to which it is "most insane" is entirely a dynamic they magic out of their own neuroses and has absolutely ZERO to do with actual limitations on their options.

The 1%ers who choose to go the route of massive donations or spending enormous sums on private school/test prep/college advising/etc. in order to guarantee their kids entry into one of a very narrow range of schools are just being stupid. That's it. It's a stupid game akin to the billionaires who compete over who has the biggest yacht. Only worse because in this scenario their children are the yachts and their educations are being used in a d*ck-measuring contest. Gross. But not actually that hard to opt out of. Just don't.

We are in the top 1% or .5%. I grew up as a poor immigrant kid. I was equally focused, if not more, than my current high school student. Education was my ticket out of poverty. There was no back up plan. My rich kid can go to any school and will probably do fine.

Ambition and striving are popular to put down on DCUM. I wonder if this is what non ambitious say. I hear this in real life from adults who come from family money, but are unimpressive themselves or have unimpressive children. They call the achieving people strivers and look down on them.

I am proud of my achievements. I am proud of my children’s achievements.

But we aren't talking about your children's achievements. We are talking about the insane efforts of 1%ers to get their kids into a small number of elite colleges by any means necessary, including (and in fact primarily), via parental effort and not student achievement.

Ambition and striving are not the same thing. Ambition is "I'm going to do as much as I can with what I have to achieve as much as possible." No one is criticizing ambition -- if your kids are ambitious I wish them well. Start companies, patent inventions, become leaders in business, law, politics, art, culture. I love ambitious people.

Striving is "I'm going to get myself or my child into XYZ elite institution because I believe that admission to these institutions will validate our family's social status as elite and better than others." I have zero respect for striving. It serves no useful purpose and people who drive themselves and their children crazy over striving are a cultural drag because their behavior divorces success from actual achievement or merit.

Best of luck to you and your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think this is limited to the 1% you have blinkers on.

True but the point is it’s most insane for the 1%ers.

NO. It is easier for 1%. The degree to which it is "most insane" is entirely a dynamic they magic out of their own neuroses and has absolutely ZERO to do with actual limitations on their options.

The 1%ers who choose to go the route of massive donations or spending enormous sums on private school/test prep/college advising/etc. in order to guarantee their kids entry into one of a very narrow range of schools are just being stupid. That's it. It's a stupid game akin to the billionaires who compete over who has the biggest yacht. Only worse because in this scenario their children are the yachts and their educations are being used in a d*ck-measuring contest. Gross. But not actually that hard to opt out of. Just don't.

We are in the top 1% or .5%. I grew up as a poor immigrant kid. I was equally focused, if not more, than my current high school student. Education was my ticket out of poverty. There was no back up plan. My rich kid can go to any school and will probably do fine.

Ambition and striving are popular to put down on DCUM. I wonder if this is what non ambitious say. I hear this in real life from adults who come from family money, but are unimpressive themselves or have unimpressive children. They call the achieving people strivers and look down on them.

I am proud of my achievements. I am proud of my children’s achievements.

But we aren't talking about your children's achievements. We are talking about the insane efforts of 1%ers to get their kids into a small number of elite colleges by any means necessary, including (and in fact primarily), via parental effort and not student achievement.

Ambition and striving are not the same thing. Ambition is "I'm going to do as much as I can with what I have to achieve as much as possible." No one is criticizing ambition -- if your kids are ambitious I wish them well. Start companies, patent inventions, become leaders in business, law, politics, art, culture. I love ambitious people.

Striving is "I'm going to get myself or my child into XYZ elite institution because I believe that admission to these institutions will validate our family's social status as elite and better than others." I have zero respect for striving. It serves no useful purpose and people who drive themselves and their children crazy over striving are a cultural drag because their behavior divorces success from actual achievement or merit.

Best of luck to you and your kids.

+1. Great explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their efforts and activity which you deem insane is the very reason they are 1% and you are not OP. They focus on and do things that you do not.

And I find that completely morally bankrupt.

Elaborate please

because they are exclusively focused on themselves, fail to see how privileged their kids are, resort to griping about how other groups are taking away opportunities from their kids, are totally tone-deaf about other people who don’t have their level of privilege, AND exhibit greed and lack of generosity in other parts of their lives. And oh yeah, seem to be making their kids pretty miserable.

Again, exactly what privileges are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think this is limited to the 1% you have blinkers on.

True but the point is it’s most insane for the 1%ers.

NO. It is easier for 1%. The degree to which it is "most insane" is entirely a dynamic they magic out of their own neuroses and has absolutely ZERO to do with actual limitations on their options.

The 1%ers who choose to go the route of massive donations or spending enormous sums on private school/test prep/college advising/etc. in order to guarantee their kids entry into one of a very narrow range of schools are just being stupid. That's it. It's a stupid game akin to the billionaires who compete over who has the biggest yacht. Only worse because in this scenario their children are the yachts and their educations are being used in a d*ck-measuring contest. Gross. But not actually that hard to opt out of. Just don't.

We are in the top 1% or .5%. I grew up as a poor immigrant kid. I was equally focused, if not more, than my current high school student. Education was my ticket out of poverty. There was no back up plan. My rich kid can go to any school and will probably do fine.

Ambition and striving are popular to put down on DCUM. I wonder if this is what non ambitious say. I hear this in real life from adults who come from family money, but are unimpressive themselves or have unimpressive children. They call the achieving people strivers and look down on them.

I am proud of my achievements. I am proud of my children’s achievements.

But we aren't talking about your children's achievements. We are talking about the insane efforts of 1%ers to get their kids into a small number of elite colleges by any means necessary, including (and in fact primarily), via parental effort and not student achievement.

Ambition and striving are not the same thing. Ambition is "I'm going to do as much as I can with what I have to achieve as much as possible." No one is criticizing ambition -- if your kids are ambitious I wish them well. Start companies, patent inventions, become leaders in business, law, politics, art, culture. I love ambitious people.

Striving is "I'm going to get myself or my child into XYZ elite institution because I believe that admission to these institutions will validate our family's social status as elite and better than others." I have zero respect for striving. It serves no useful purpose and people who drive themselves and their children crazy over striving are a cultural drag because their behavior divorces success from actual achievement or merit.

Best of luck to you and your kids.

interesting analysis but not sure where are you getting this from. “Striving”
Means caring to achieve or maintain social status. Ambition is typically helpful there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think this is limited to the 1% you have blinkers on.

True but the point is it’s most insane for the 1%ers.

NO. It is easier for 1%. The degree to which it is "most insane" is entirely a dynamic they magic out of their own neuroses and has absolutely ZERO to do with actual limitations on their options.

The 1%ers who choose to go the route of massive donations or spending enormous sums on private school/test prep/college advising/etc. in order to guarantee their kids entry into one of a very narrow range of schools are just being stupid. That's it. It's a stupid game akin to the billionaires who compete over who has the biggest yacht. Only worse because in this scenario their children are the yachts and their educations are being used in a d*ck-measuring contest. Gross. But not actually that hard to opt out of. Just don't.

We are in the top 1% or .5%. I grew up as a poor immigrant kid. I was equally focused, if not more, than my current high school student. Education was my ticket out of poverty. There was no back up plan. My rich kid can go to any school and will probably do fine.

Ambition and striving are popular to put down on DCUM. I wonder if this is what non ambitious say. I hear this in real life from adults who come from family money, but are unimpressive themselves or have unimpressive children. They call the achieving people strivers and look down on them.

I am proud of my achievements. I am proud of my children’s achievements.

But we aren't talking about your children's achievements. We are talking about the insane efforts of 1%ers to get their kids into a small number of elite colleges by any means necessary, including (and in fact primarily), via parental effort and not student achievement.

Ambition and striving are not the same thing. Ambition is "I'm going to do as much as I can with what I have to achieve as much as possible." No one is criticizing ambition -- if your kids are ambitious I wish them well. Start companies, patent inventions, become leaders in business, law, politics, art, culture. I love ambitious people.

Striving is "I'm going to get myself or my child into XYZ elite institution because I believe that admission to these institutions will validate our family's social status as elite and better than others." I have zero respect for striving. It serves no useful purpose and people who drive themselves and their children crazy over striving are a cultural drag because their behavior divorces success from actual achievement or merit.

Best of luck to you and your kids.

Who really says the latter? I mean, everyone thinks they are doing the former.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in the peanut gallery watching several 1%ers in the college admissions process. It is INSANE. please folks get ahold of yourselves. Your super privileged kids are going to be fine.

emvious much? stop judging and focus on your own kids. Crowd-sourcing here for affirmation will get you nowhere in life or in assisting your own kids. You are wasting time being bitter.

Damn hit a nerve.

[Anonymous]

I think people are confusing privilege with personal quality/merit, which are actually the opposite things.
The whole narrative of this thread, and to some extent the entire DCUM, is so communist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think this is limited to the 1% you have blinkers on.

True but the point is it’s most insane for the 1%ers.

NO. It is easier for 1%. The degree to which it is "most insane" is entirely a dynamic they magic out of their own neuroses and has absolutely ZERO to do with actual limitations on their options.

The 1%ers who choose to go the route of massive donations or spending enormous sums on private school/test prep/college advising/etc. in order to guarantee their kids entry into one of a very narrow range of schools are just being stupid. That's it. It's a stupid game akin to the billionaires who compete over who has the biggest yacht. Only worse because in this scenario their children are the yachts and their educations are being used in a d*ck-measuring contest. Gross. But not actually that hard to opt out of. Just don't.

We are in the top 1% or .5%. I grew up as a poor immigrant kid. I was equally focused, if not more, than my current high school student. Education was my ticket out of poverty. There was no back up plan. My rich kid can go to any school and will probably do fine.

Ambition and striving are popular to put down on DCUM. I wonder if this is what non ambitious say. I hear this in real life from adults who come from family money, but are unimpressive themselves or have unimpressive children. They call the achieving people strivers and look down on them.

I am proud of my achievements. I am proud of my children’s achievements.

But we aren't talking about your children's achievements. We are talking about the insane efforts of 1%ers to get their kids into a small number of elite colleges by any means necessary, including (and in fact primarily), via parental effort and not student achievement.

Ambition and striving are not the same thing. Ambition is "I'm going to do as much as I can with what I have to achieve as much as possible." No one is criticizing ambition -- if your kids are ambitious I wish them well. Start companies, patent inventions, become leaders in business, law, politics, art, culture. I love ambitious people.

Striving is "I'm going to get myself or my child into XYZ elite institution because I believe that admission to these institutions will validate our family's social status as elite and better than others." I have zero respect for striving. It serves no useful purpose and people who drive themselves and their children crazy over striving are a cultural drag because their behavior divorces success from actual achievement or merit.

Best of luck to you and your kids.

Who really says the latter? I mean, everyone thinks they are doing the former.

Given the amount of comments I’ve seen here from people wanting their kids to go to a school simply because it is “elite,” or assessing schools based on how elite they are, I’m not sure that’s true.