The insanity of 1%er East Coast parents and college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, life would be much easier if we lived in bumble town North Dakota and my kid just applied to State U or Directional State U. I am somewhat envious of that.

But we are not there.

True, but nothing's stopping you and your child from following that path.

This. And actually your situation is a million times better for financial reasons.

I really respect it when I hear that one of my [wealthy, very privileged] friend's kids is going to a school outside the T25 or even T50 because they just found a school that was a great fit. Like I have a friend whose daughter is going to to a state school you probably wouldn't even think about but it has a terrific program in forestry and environmental science and that's what her DD wants to do. I know another kid who wound up at a smaller school in Texas because of their photography program and because he really likes that part of the country. I think these kids are going to do great in life because they know themselves and what they want AND they have supportive and wealthy parents who can help them with the finance side.

Kids who are actually from bumble**** North Dakota often don't have that kind of support and their options can be super limited as a result. They also often haven't seen enough of the world to really have a sense of what is possible, what different career paths look like, etc. I know because I was one of those kids. It's incredibly hard navigating the world when you grow up with a narrow viewpoint and your parents don't have much knowledge of the world either. I was a super academic kid who wanted more and knew I wouldn't be happy just getting some management/white collar job locally -- I wanted to see more of the world. But I was really ill-prepared for it and made a ton of mistakes along the way and my parents were of no help.

I have to roll my eyes hard at people who lament that they would be "better off" if they lived in some rural town and their kid just went to the state flagship. You are assuming you'd still have all your other privileges -- your education and understanding of the world, your connections, etc. And that sending your kid to the state flagship would pose no economic burden whatsoever (I needed a scholarship that required me to maintain a 3.8 in honors classes in order to afford college). Most people in that situation have none of the above.

You all sound like whiny children. Grow up. I'm sorry your kid might not get into Brown? Whatever.

New poster here. There are plenty and I mean plenty of folks who went to their “state flagship“ who were doing better than fine. This is a ridiculous.

I believe PP knows that. But is stating that growing up in Montana or ND or SD in a more rural area (or heck even the "cities" in those states) most of those kids have very different life experiences than those 1-3% do in DCUM, and most of us would not actually want that for our kids, just so they can attend Harvard.

It really would be helpful if more people would take off their blinders, step back and recognize their intense privilege already by age 18 (or the parents would).

We made sure our kids knew their privilege, and worked hard to not raise spoiled brats. One kid was not T50 material, but found their place at a great school and is doing well at 25. The other was T25 material, but didn't get into any (WL at 2), and is excelling at a T50. But is aware of their privilege---they had two schools (within T40-55), $42K merit/year at one and none at the other (both ~$90K+). My kid knows 99%+ of kids would be at the one with top merit. My kid knows they are extremely privileged that we allowed them to select the school without merit---why? Because it's truly a better fit for my kid (in reality probably should have been their ED1 and a better fit than either of the T25 they were WL at) and we have it all saved in a 529 and can easily afford it. Grad school will be paid for if/when it's desired, kid will get a new car for graduation, we will help with downpayment when time comes, etc. But my kid recognizes that 99% of kids would be at the other school simply "finances".

[Anonymous]

I can guarantee you the people who post endless threads here about what schools are most elite and shit on any school outside the T15 are not in the top one percent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can guarantee you the people who post endless threads here about what schools are most elite and shit on any school outside the T15 are not in the top one percent.

[phone]
SLACs like Kenyon and Bucknell are full of 1%s even though they aren't at the tippy top. 1%s aren't worried about what US News has to say about their kids' college choices this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, life would be much easier if we lived in bumble town North Dakota and my kid just applied to State U or Directional State U. I am somewhat envious of that.

But we are not there.

What? Are you disgruntled because you are a 1%er with a kid who wants to go to an elite school because of name and thinks their wealth makes them entitled ? Those days were over a generation ago. Mine are at different ivies. We are top3% income ie full pay & make it work because we saved. Most there are on aid. Smart is the new rich. Me and many of my elite college peers went there highly aided in the 90s, now we make enough for our kids to be full pay. Since they are as smart or smarter than we are they got in just fine no hooks (in fact their demographic is a bit of a negative yet they still got in). There are plenty of non elite but still T75 for 1% wealth who are not in the top% of smarts/talent.

Full pay is a hook.
Legacy is a hook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, life would be much easier if we lived in bumble town North Dakota and my kid just applied to State U or Directional State U. I am somewhat envious of that.

But we are not there.

What? Are you disgruntled because you are a 1%er with a kid who wants to go to an elite school because of name and thinks their wealth makes them entitled ? Those days were over a generation ago. Mine are at different ivies. We are top3% income ie full pay & make it work because we saved. Most there are on aid. Smart is the new rich. Me and many of my elite college peers went there highly aided in the 90s, now we make enough for our kids to be full pay. Since they are as smart or smarter than we are they got in just fine no hooks (in fact their demographic is a bit of a negative yet they still got in). There are plenty of non elite but still T75 for 1% wealth who are not in the top% of smarts/talent.

Full pay is a hook.
Legacy is a hook.

Full pay is not a hook at ivies or other need blind colleges.

I won't argue whether you are misusing the term hook where you mean advantage (they are different) but the above statement is undeniable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, life would be much easier if we lived in bumble town North Dakota and my kid just applied to State U or Directional State U. I am somewhat envious of that.

But we are not there.

What? Are you disgruntled because you are a 1%er with a kid who wants to go to an elite school because of name and thinks their wealth makes them entitled ? Those days were over a generation ago. Mine are at different ivies. We are top3% income ie full pay & make it work because we saved. Most there are on aid. Smart is the new rich. Me and many of my elite college peers went there highly aided in the 90s, now we make enough for our kids to be full pay. Since they are as smart or smarter than we are they got in just fine no hooks (in fact their demographic is a bit of a negative yet they still got in). There are plenty of non elite but still T75 for 1% wealth who are not in the top% of smarts/talent.

lol

Thank you! Obviously that elite education was not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, life would be much easier if we lived in bumble town North Dakota and my kid just applied to State U or Directional State U. I am somewhat envious of that.

But we are not there.

True, but nothing's stopping you and your child from following that path.

This. And actually your situation is a million times better for financial reasons.

I really respect it when I hear that one of my [wealthy, very privileged] friend's kids is going to a school outside the T25 or even T50 because they just found a school that was a great fit. Like I have a friend whose daughter is going to to a state school you probably wouldn't even think about but it has a terrific program in forestry and environmental science and that's what her DD wants to do. I know another kid who wound up at a smaller school in Texas because of their photography program and because he really likes that part of the country. I think these kids are going to do great in life because they know themselves and what they want AND they have supportive and wealthy parents who can help them with the finance side.

Kids who are actually from bumble**** North Dakota often don't have that kind of support and their options can be super limited as a result. They also often haven't seen enough of the world to really have a sense of what is possible, what different career paths look like, etc. I know because I was one of those kids. It's incredibly hard navigating the world when you grow up with a narrow viewpoint and your parents don't have much knowledge of the world either. I was a super academic kid who wanted more and knew I wouldn't be happy just getting some management/white collar job locally -- I wanted to see more of the world. But I was really ill-prepared for it and made a ton of mistakes along the way and my parents were of no help.

I have to roll my eyes hard at people who lament that they would be "better off" if they lived in some rural town and their kid just went to the state flagship. You are assuming you'd still have all your other privileges -- your education and understanding of the world, your connections, etc. And that sending your kid to the state flagship would pose no economic burden whatsoever (I needed a scholarship that required me to maintain a 3.8 in honors classes in order to afford college). Most people in that situation have none of the above.

You all sound like whiny children. Grow up. I'm sorry your kid might not get into Brown? Whatever.

New poster here. There are plenty and I mean plenty of folks who went to their “state flagship“ who were doing better than fine. This is a ridiculous.

I believe PP knows that. But is stating that growing up in Montana or ND or SD in a more rural area (or heck even the "cities" in those states) most of those kids have very different life experiences than those 1-3% do in DCUM, and most of us would not actually want that for our kids, just so they can attend Harvard.

It really would be helpful if more people would take off their blinders, step back and recognize their intense privilege already by age 18 (or the parents would).

We made sure our kids knew their privilege, and worked hard to not raise spoiled brats. One kid was not T50 material, but found their place at a great school and is doing well at 25. The other was T25 material, but didn't get into any (WL at 2), and is excelling at a T50. But is aware of their privilege---they had two schools (within T40-55), $42K merit/year at one and none at the other (both ~$90K+). My kid knows 99%+ of kids would be at the one with top merit. My kid knows they are extremely privileged that we allowed them to select the school without merit---why? Because it's truly a better fit for my kid (in reality probably should have been their ED1 and a better fit than either of the T25 they were WL at) and we have it all saved in a 529 and can easily afford it. Grad school will be paid for if/when it's desired, kid will get a new car for graduation, we will help with downpayment when time comes, etc. But my kid recognizes that 99% of kids would be at the other school simply "finances".

[Anonymous]

I know a bunch of people who moved to Montana over Covid and haven't come back. And to a person, they're rich AF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a bunch of people who moved to Montana over Covid and haven't come back. And to a person, they're rich AF

Doubt their kids attend University of Montana or Montana State...which will bend over backwards to find students from anywhere and offer all kinds of $$$s for an OOS kid to attend. Same for South Dakota and North Dakota.

[Anonymous]

The pretentiousness of some of the DCUM are the primary reason I’m still hanging around this forum. The way they look down their noses at flyover country and the south is hilarious. Clueless, entitled elitism on display. I’m here for it. Thanks to OP for coaxing it out into the sunshine. 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Their efforts and activity which you deem insane is the very reason they are 1% and you are not OP. They focus on and do things that you do not.

And I find that completely morally bankrupt.

Elaborate please

because they are exclusively focused on themselves, fail to see how privileged their kids are, resort to griping about how other groups are taking away opportunities from their kids, are totally tone-deaf about other people who don’t have their level of privilege, AND exhibit greed and lack of generosity in other parts of their lives. And oh yeah, seem to be making their kids pretty miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The pretentiousness of some of the DCUM are the primary reason I’m still hanging around this forum. The way they look down their noses at flyover country and the south is hilarious. Clueless, entitled elitism on display. I’m here for it. Thanks to OP for coaxing it out into the sunshine. 😂

Rich southerners are the snobbiest of all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pretentiousness of some of the DCUM are the primary reason I’m still hanging around this forum. The way they look down their noses at flyover country and the south is hilarious. Clueless, entitled elitism on display. I’m here for it. Thanks to OP for coaxing it out into the sunshine. 😂

Rich southerners are the snobbiest of all

NP. Rich southerners couldn’t care less about school rankings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, life would be much easier if we lived in bumble town North Dakota and my kid just applied to State U or Directional State U. I am somewhat envious of that.

But we are not there.

True, but nothing's stopping you and your child from following that path.

This. And actually your situation is a million times better for financial reasons.

I really respect it when I hear that one of my [wealthy, very privileged] friend's kids is going to a school outside the T25 or even T50 because they just found a school that was a great fit. Like I have a friend whose daughter is going to to a state school you probably wouldn't even think about but it has a terrific program in forestry and environmental science and that's what her DD wants to do. I know another kid who wound up at a smaller school in Texas because of their photography program and because he really likes that part of the country. I think these kids are going to do great in life because they know themselves and what they want AND they have supportive and wealthy parents who can help them with the finance side.

Kids who are actually from bumble**** North Dakota often don't have that kind of support and their options can be super limited as a result. They also often haven't seen enough of the world to really have a sense of what is possible, what different career paths look like, etc. I know because I was one of those kids. It's incredibly hard navigating the world when you grow up with a narrow viewpoint and your parents don't have much knowledge of the world either. I was a super academic kid who wanted more and knew I wouldn't be happy just getting some management/white collar job locally -- I wanted to see more of the world. But I was really ill-prepared for it and made a ton of mistakes along the way and my parents were of no help.

I have to roll my eyes hard at people who lament that they would be "better off" if they lived in some rural town and their kid just went to the state flagship. You are assuming you'd still have all your other privileges -- your education and understanding of the world, your connections, etc. And that sending your kid to the state flagship would pose no economic burden whatsoever (I needed a scholarship that required me to maintain a 3.8 in honors classes in order to afford college). Most people in that situation have none of the above.

You all sound like whiny children. Grow up. I'm sorry your kid might not get into Brown? Whatever.

New poster here. There are plenty and I mean plenty of folks who went to their “state flagship“ who were doing better than fine. This is a ridiculous.

I think PP is talking about the absurdity of the privileged East Coasters saying things like “Oh, if only Larla was from N Dakota, she’d get into Brown.” With the implication that it would be so great and easy to be a rural farm kid first in the family to have serious academic goals. Clueless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can guarantee you the people who post endless threads here about what schools are most elite and shit on any school outside the T15 are not in the top one percent.

OP here. I think the fact that the top 5% are correcting me that they are so overburdened compared to the top 1% just proves the point 😂

1%, 5% - you and your kids are going to be fine.