Come in if you recently raised successful young adults
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Anonymous
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I had no parents from early teens. Horribly abusive father abandoned us (thankfully) and mother was a hopeless addict.
On my own since age 18. I was a national level athlete and paid my own way to two excellent schools. Successful, but intensively competitive and achieved beyond my ability. Put a huge premium on mental toughness. Got married to a non athlete from a scholarly Jewish background. I did little but spoil my daughters. They did admire my competitiveness although they were not nearly as intense, which I welcomed. One went to Princeton, the other on a completely full academic ride to Michigan (Shipman Scholars). They both have launched very well. I did not hover. I let them choose colleges, did not obsess like DCUMers do, and told them I would pay for whatever they chose, along with a car and vacations and travel. Implied but never really spoken was that they would be great students and that was their end of the bargain. I am not sure I did anything but apply the right kind of small dose parenting. My kids were bright and self motivated. My twin brother and I were the only educated people in my family and while my kids are humble they clearly wanted to avoid the fate of my parents and relatives. I might add that while I did not hover I had thousands of books, and both kids joke I gave them a non fiction habit! |
Anonymous
All that is needed is a T30ish college and the resilience and self discipline from an early age to get there in the first place, ie no helicopter parenting and no tutors to force them into classes above their heads in junior or high school. The norm after these colleges is to aim for top grad/professional schools or a job that more than pays the bills. We paid attention to work colleagues with older kids and watched for trends. There is a distinct line between the tier of college that 95% launch and live independently within 6mos of grad, and the kinds where 30-40% live at home for a few years and are un or underemployed. |
Anonymous
Interesting. I know many Ivy grads who are un/underemployed. Living at home a year after graduation working as an SAT tutor, etc. |
Anonymous
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As a parent, your first priority and obligation is towards your kids. Focus on good values and discipline.
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