Woman I was dating ended this because of a picture

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How serious were you two, truly?

Pretty serious….I told her I knew she was the one and introduced to my family as such.

Within 2 months? That’s scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been dating two months but I’ve known her years. Things have gotten fairly serious I would say although we’re officially together (yet). We were exclusive though. She’s met my family, we’ve talked about the future, planned a trip with her for next month, and how I could see being with her long term, etc.

This weekend she was traveling and I went out with my brother and his wife. I got a little toasted and we ran into a bunch of old friends, one being my sister in law’s maid of honor. We’ve all known each other and have been friends for many years, my brother and sister in law included. While out, I was at the bar talking to the maid of honor and had my arm around her. My hand wasn’t touching her butt or anything. My sister in law added the woman I was dating on social media prior to this. Well my sister in law posted us all out and you could see the maid of honor and I at the bar. I saw the post and decided to get ahead of things and told the woman I was seeing about the picture. Well she ended things with me. I told her we were just friends. She said it’s early and it’s better to end things now because she’s looking for someone serious. I told her I was/am serious about her though. She said having my arm around another woman and saying the things I’ve said to her don’t match up because that’s not the behavior of someone serious.

Isn’t this an overreaction? I did nothing with the maid of honor at all and told her how we’re all friends. I really saw a future with her, and told her so.

Move on. It doesn't matter what we think. She doesn't see a future. That'a all that matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A guy I started dating once sent me a similar picture - him with a childhood friend. Not sure what he meant but I just have him thumbs up and never responded to his texts. I thought that was weird and not in sync with his words how much he was into me.

So you ghosted? This woman was at least honest and not passive aggressive

[Anonymous]

I have to agree 💯% w/your “ex” on this.

When you are exclusive w/another woman, it is very inappropriate to have your arm around another woman in a bar.

Even though you were drunk - that is no excuse.
Remember Justin Timberlake??!

Your “ex” knew her worth & she decided to not take the chance that you would not be committed to her as she wanted to be.

Hopefully you learned an important life lesson here regarding respect.

I wish you only the best moving forward.

[Anonymous]

Gent here. Chiming in to let you ladies know than men can see the red flags here too. OP thinks he’s clever by threading a needle of being honest about his misbehavior as a way of excusing it, and trying to use his “innocent intent” to justify it. It aligns perfectly with the premature declarations of commitment without the actions to back it up, and the excessive drinking of a single man at age 35. He’s crafting a “good guy” narrative in his own mind and expecting gf to accept it, thinking about makes him right instead of what makes his gf feel right. He’s been single and on the chase to long, that he doesn’t have the intuition for how to be coupled.

[Anonymous]

Op, she didn’t end it because of a picture. She ended because of your actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, she didn’t end it because of a picture. She ended because of your actions.

This. His failure to take responsibility for himself gives it all away.

Sober up, OP.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know. I’m inclined to say that she was unreasonable. But the more I think about it, it makes sense to me to break up with someone who’s in a picture on social media with their arm around another woman at a social event. It’s early on, and she’s thinking to herself “I don’t wanna deal with that.” She’s probably right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gent here. Chiming in to let you ladies know than men can see the red flags here too. OP thinks he’s clever by threading a needle of being honest about his misbehavior as a way of excusing it, and trying to use his “innocent intent” to justify it. It aligns perfectly with the premature declarations of commitment without the actions to back it up, and the excessive drinking of a single man at age 35. He’s crafting a “good guy” narrative in his own mind and expecting gf to accept it, thinking about makes him right instead of what makes his gf feel right. He’s been single and on the chase to long, that he doesn’t have the intuition for how to be coupled.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gent here. Chiming in to let you ladies know than men can see the red flags here too. OP thinks he’s clever by threading a needle of being honest about his misbehavior as a way of excusing it, and trying to use his “innocent intent” to justify it. It aligns perfectly with the premature declarations of commitment without the actions to back it up, and the excessive drinking of a single man at age 35. He’s crafting a “good guy” narrative in his own mind and expecting gf to accept it, thinking about makes him right instead of what makes his gf feel right. He’s been single and on the chase to long, that he doesn’t have the intuition for how to be coupled.

Well said!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posed shot, fine. Candid shot, not fine.

It was candid.

Well, there you go. She ended it because she's not up for a future of having to believe your lame explanation every time you get caught getting handsy with someone else. I don't blame her.

+1 especially if she's already known you for years, this probably confirmed something she'd already seen and was willing to try out dating to see if you'd matured. Now she knows you haven't. At 35 most women don't want to waste time on a guy with too many red flags.

[Anonymous]

You tried to get in front of it because you knew it looked bad.

[Anonymous]

I can't say whether OP's "ex's" approach was entirely reasonable, but I would have made the same choice. When picking a partner, it was important to me that he "cherished" me—this meant he should be mindful not to create insecurities through his actions. When dating, I was quick to end relationships with anyone who made me feel insecure. I'm glad I did this because I was available when I met my husband. If I had continued dating the wrong person, we might never have crossed paths, and timing is everything.

[Anonymous]

She did you a favor.

If that was the only reason she ended it? She cray cray.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She did you a favor.

If that was the only reason she ended it? She cray cray.

It’s not the only reason. He’s love bombing her on one hand, and getting hands with the MOH on the other. He lies so much that he can’t even come to DCUM and tell the actual story he wants advice on the first time because he has to make sure he’s in the right. She saw the red flag waving, and walked the other way. Smart woman.