Woman I was dating ended this because of a picture

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only suppose she has a history of being cheated on, or she's insecure. I know some people are physically affectionate with others (of either sex) and that it just signifies friendship or camaraderie, not sexual or romantic interest.

But lesson learned, OP. Don't put your arm around random women when you're not assured of your date.

If the man you’re dating, who is talking marriage with you, the moment you’re out of town has his arms around another woman, at best something is off. I’m assuming she’s around the same age as OP, 35, so I can’t blame for calling it quits early. That’s not insecure at all IMO.

Agree. It’s just plain smart.

[Anonymous]

She set a completely reasonable boundary. None of my male friends ever put an arm around me. That would be bizarre. You crossed a line, she rightly held it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was already on the fence and just cut it early. No quarter

This right here. Let it go - no foul.

[Anonymous]

So someone took/posted this picture of OP to "expose him" to his ex - a different ex than the current woman? It sounds like you have history either with this MOH (did you hook up with her?) or with cheating in general, and this person thought she was doing everyone a favor by "exposing" you. I don't agree with that action, but it sounds like there is history that you aren't sharing.

That said, I think it's inappropriate to just hang out with someone with your arm around another woman. A hug is one thing, but just keeping your arm around her? Long enough that a random candid shot could be taken? Idk. People are are allowed to walk away for any reason, even if you deem it an overreaction. She doesn't want to have to deal with
a) a guy who puts his arm around random women
b) a guy who goes out to the bar when she's gone
c) a guy who has drama with his ex/friends who post petty pictures on SM

I dunno, seems like she is dodging a bullet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She set a completely reasonable boundary. None of my male friends ever put an arm around me. That would be bizarre. You crossed a line, she rightly held it.

I agree. I don't like the behavior, and the boundary is appropriate. However, some people here think she was unreasonable for breaking up with you over that. These are the kind of people who go out with their friends, and you may see other people's hands on them in pictures and social media. If you're the kind of person who wouldn't be bothered by that, you should date someone with similar standards. We all have different expectations in a relationship. Op’s expectations simply don't align with his ex-girlfriend's, and that's fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been dating two months but I’ve known her years. Things have gotten fairly serious I would say although we’re officially together (yet). We were exclusive though. She’s met my family, we’ve talked about the future, planned a trip with her for next month, and how I could see being with her long term, etc.

This weekend she was traveling and I went out with my brother and his wife. I got a little toasted and we ran into a bunch of old friends, one being my sister in law’s maid of honor. We’ve all known each other and have been friends for many years, my brother and sister in law included. While out, I was at the bar talking to the maid of honor and had my arm around her. My hand wasn’t touching her butt or anything. My sister in law added the woman I was dating on social media prior to this. Well my sister in law posted us all out and you could see the maid of honor and I at the bar. I saw the post and decided to get ahead of things and told the woman I was seeing about the picture. Well she ended things with me. I told her we were just friends. She said it’s early and it’s better to end things now because she’s looking for someone serious. I told her I was/am serious about her though. She said having my arm around another woman and saying the things I’ve said to her don’t match up because that’s not the behavior of someone serious.

Isn’t this an overreaction? I did nothing with the maid of honor at all and told her how we’re all friends. I really saw a future with her, and told her so.

She is very immature and toxic. You dodged a bullet and you should be happy about it.
Maybe she has been traumatized by men in her past. You don't want to deal with women that are mentally broken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She set a completely reasonable boundary. None of my male friends ever put an arm around me. That would be bizarre. You crossed a line, she rightly held it.

In what world are you living? I have male friends and I greet them with a hug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She set a completely reasonable boundary. None of my male friends ever put an arm around me. That would be bizarre. You crossed a line, she rightly held it.

In what world are you living? I have male friends and I greet them with a hug.

They weren't hugging, they were hanging out and he had his arm around her. It doesnt sound like for a short amount of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only suppose she has a history of being cheated on, or she's insecure. I know some people are physically affectionate with others (of either sex) and that it just signifies friendship or camaraderie, not sexual or romantic interest.

But lesson learned, OP. Don't put your arm around random women when you're not assured of your date.

There’s more to the story. I simplified it for DCUM. So, a woman who is friends with us and my ex, saw me at the bar with the woman. She took the pictures of me and the MOH at the bar, posted it online, and sent the pictures to my ex and said she was going to “expose me”. So, I had to reach out to my ex and explain what what was going on. As I mentioned, I wanted to get ahead of this and told the woman I was seeing. Again, there’s a still a little bit more to it but that’s the gist.

Messy. This sounds like college drama, not for 35 year olds. My guess is that you have some sort of checkered history - cheating, serial love bombing then dumping, whatever - and the woman you were dating was giving you a chance but keeping her eyes open. She saw you for who you are, which is not marriage material, and cutting her losses. Bye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can only suppose she has a history of being cheated on, or she's insecure. I know some people are physically affectionate with others (of either sex) and that it just signifies friendship or camaraderie, not sexual or romantic interest.

But lesson learned, OP. Don't put your arm around random women when you're not assured of your date.

There’s more to the story. I simplified it for DCUM. So, a woman who is friends with us and my ex, saw me at the bar with the woman. She took the pictures of me and the MOH at the bar, posted it online, and sent the pictures to my ex and said she was going to “expose me”. So, I had to reach out to my ex and explain what what was going on. As I mentioned, I wanted to get ahead of this and told the woman I was seeing. Again, there’s a still a little bit more to it but that’s the gist.

Messy. This sounds like college drama, not for 35 year olds. My guess is that you have some sort of checkered history - cheating, serial love bombing then dumping, whatever - and the woman you were dating was giving you a chance but keeping her eyes open. She saw you for who you are, which is not marriage material, and cutting her losses. Bye.

Agree. Way too messy. Ima see my way out because nobody has time for this crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been dating two months but I’ve known her years. Things have gotten fairly serious I would say although we’re officially together (yet). We were exclusive though. She’s met my family, we’ve talked about the future, planned a trip with her for next month, and how I could see being with her long term, etc.

This weekend she was traveling and I went out with my brother and his wife. I got a little toasted and we ran into a bunch of old friends, one being my sister in law’s maid of honor. We’ve all known each other and have been friends for many years, my brother and sister in law included. While out, I was at the bar talking to the maid of honor and had my arm around her. My hand wasn’t touching her butt or anything. My sister in law added the woman I was dating on social media prior to this. Well my sister in law posted us all out and you could see the maid of honor and I at the bar. I saw the post and decided to get ahead of things and told the woman I was seeing about the picture. Well she ended things with me. I told her we were just friends. She said it’s early and it’s better to end things now because she’s looking for someone serious. I told her I was/am serious about her though. She said having my arm around another woman and saying the things I’ve said to her don’t match up because that’s not the behavior of someone serious.

Isn’t this an overreaction? I did nothing with the maid of honor at all and told her how we’re all friends. I really saw a future with her, and told her so.

She is very immature and toxic. You dodged a bullet and you should be happy about it.
Maybe she has been traumatized by men in her past. You don't want to deal with women who are mentally broken.

Wrong. She has standards and OP fell short. You clearly have lower standards if you don't mind your boyfriend or girlfriend going out drinking and hanging all over someone else. That's fine; there are plenty of people who feel the same as you and thats your and OP’s dating pool, but not his ex’s.

[Anonymous]

Usually when someone accuses someone of something and the other calls them over reactive it doesn't go well.

[Anonymous]

You were flirting. Plain and simple. Got caught. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gent here. Chiming in to let you ladies know than men can see the red flags here too. OP thinks he’s clever by threading a needle of being honest about his misbehavior as a way of excusing it, and trying to use his “innocent intent” to justify it. It aligns perfectly with the premature declarations of commitment without the actions to back it up, and the excessive drinking of a single man at age 35. He’s crafting a “good guy” narrative in his own mind and expecting gf to accept it, thinking about makes him right instead of what makes his gf feel right. He’s been single and on the chase to long, that he doesn’t have the intuition for how to be coupled.

Yep. It's like preventative gaslighting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been dating two months but I’ve known her years. Things have gotten fairly serious I would say although we’re officially together (yet). We were exclusive though. She’s met my family, we’ve talked about the future, planned a trip with her for next month, and how I could see being with her long term, etc.

This weekend she was traveling and I went out with my brother and his wife. I got a little toasted and we ran into a bunch of old friends, one being my sister in law’s maid of honor. We’ve all known each other and have been friends for many years, my brother and sister in law included. While out, I was at the bar talking to the maid of honor and had my arm around her. My hand wasn’t touching her butt or anything. My sister in law added the woman I was dating on social media prior to this. Well my sister in law posted us all out and you could see the maid of honor and I at the bar. I saw the post and decided to get ahead of things and told the woman I was seeing about the picture. Well she ended things with me. I told her we were just friends. She said it’s early and it’s better to end things now because she’s looking for someone serious. I told her I was/am serious about her though. She said having my arm around another woman and saying the things I’ve said to her don’t match up because that’s not the behavior of someone serious.

Isn’t this an overreaction? I did nothing with the maid of honor at all and told her how we’re all friends. I really saw a future with her, and told her so.

She is very immature and toxic. You dodged a bullet and you should be happy about it.
Maybe she has been traumatized by men in her past. You don't want to deal with women that are mentally broken.

Troll sock puppet

Do better Op, so lame.