Feel like my boyfriend has poor emotional regulation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And there are unhealthy ways.
Yell and blame others, punch walls, destroy property, stonewall for days, drugs/ excessive alcohol, etc like OPs date does.

This.

Where did destroying property, stonewalling for days, using drugs and drinking excessively come from? OP didn't mention any of that. Are you projecting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And there are unhealthy ways.
Yell and blame others, punch walls, destroy property, stonewall for days, drugs/ excessive alcohol, etc like OPs date does.

This.

Where did destroying property, stonewalling for days, using drugs and drinking excessively come from? OP didn't mention any of that. Are you projecting?

Speaking of “projecting” you omitted how OP’s boyfriend throws objects across the room! In addition to his recurring pattern of yelling and punching walls.

But thx for being so literal to the list of unacceptable behaviors and emotional dysregulation. Boy did you show us. Real value add.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And there are unhealthy ways.
Yell and blame others, punch walls, destroy property, stonewall for days, drugs/ excessive alcohol, etc like OPs date does.

This.

Where did destroying property, stonewalling for days, using drugs and drinking excessively come from? OP didn't mention any of that. Are you projecting?

Lol.

Dont you keep trolling for acceptable or unacceptable examples of males displaying being angry?

You must be a real treat to live with or even attempt to have a discussion with.

[Anonymous]

I would not marry this person.

Even though he is striking out at inanimate objects - it still is NOT a healthy way for him to deal with his anger if it affects you the way it does.

He needs to seek counseling and/or anger management courses in order to help him learn to constructively express his anger as opposed to destructively.

[Anonymous]

OK, please get out of this relationship. You are young and there are many other people out there who do not bring these problems. These are not the kinds of things you just “grow out of “unless you put in some hard work, and in the meantime, And your body or paying a price from the stress and tension. Get out and find someone else.

[Anonymous]

OP: how old are you? Are you two living together? As others have noted, please leave this relationship. No man is worth this. If you yourself suffer from anxiety, this is only going to get worse and worse. You are young. Don’t go down this path.

[Anonymous]

That's spot on. Both of you seem to have unresolved issues and piling them together would double up the anxiety yo've individually.

[Anonymous]

No bueno. He needs therapy.

[Anonymous]

It took me a while to realize this myself, because I like to see the best in people, and am easily guilted, despite knowing I am one of the most positive forces in their life right now.

-When he angers you or acts out, just open a word doc or something and write down how you feel, it could be venting, reflecting on a particular action that set him off, or something. Goal is to have you with rosy glasses look back at this and have a reminder of your reality.


-Make predictions, so for example I would get bad behavior if I went away for work for 4-5 days. Usually it would be a pattern of nice at first, then by day 2 after Im no longer useful, I'd get lashing out, and by day 4-5, it's back to I miss you. If you see something like this coming, just for fun try predicting his actions, through the perspective of " am I useful to him right now or am I no longer useful" especially if he has a time frame of only caring about the next 24 hours, and not long term planning.

[Anonymous]

Life doesn’t get less stressful as you age, fyi. If this is how he handles the challenges of single life, I’d hate to see him married or as a father.

[Anonymous]

How old are you, OP? And what do you see in him?