DUI and Death on Harrison

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The driver and other passengers all walked away with minor injuries. The story should include information about who was belted or not, because seatbelts do save lives and young people too often overlook them.

That information is in the news stories about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The driver and other passengers all walked away with minor injuries. The story should include information about who was belted or not, because seatbelts do save lives and young people too often overlook them.

My guess would be that the kid who died was the one who was not wearing a seatbelt and was, thus, thrown from the car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The driver and other passengers all walked away with minor injuries. The story should include information about who was belted or not, because seatbelts do save lives and young people too often overlook them.

My guess would be that the kid who died was the one who was not wearing a seatbelt and was, thus, thrown from the car.

You don’t need to guess, that is literally what the news report said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These kids were home from college on fall break. Many lives were ruined for stupid mistakes. It could have been anyone.

I agree many lives were ruined for stupid mistakes and it could have anffected anyone who was out on that road with them that night who was minding their own business in the wrong place and wrong time. Thank god that didn’t happen.

However I also don’t think acting like this is some random lightening strike act of fate is correct either for the kids who were in that car. Actions have consequences and these ones are far bigger than anyone should ever have to pay. It sucks.

I agree with you and honestly, the pushback reading like “how dare you blame an 18 year old! How dare you blame parents!” really disgusts me. Of course parents cannot control all outcomes. But honestly so many don’t try. And some of you know that you fit that description. You signed up to be a parent, but you’re fine if your kid inflicts pain and consequences that -they- deserve on actual innocents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The driver and other passengers all walked away with minor injuries. The story should include information about who was belted or not, because seatbelts do save lives and young people too often overlook them.

I think we can surmise that the boy who died was the front seat passenger and was not wearing a seatbelt. He probably broke his neck or had a massive head injury from the impact into the cars or the windshield or the street. I cannot imagine that these good friends had to sit there with their dying friend while waiting for EMS. So many lives destroyed in an instant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please remember that these boys were good friends.

With these stories I think more about the kid in jail who has to live with it the rest of his life and the parents who have to face regrets they may have and the fallout.

Yes. They’re more focal to how you see the world because you have more empathy for them. Because their kid is still alive. And they can collectively weep and say they’re heartbroken, get a line of credit and a good attorney, and after some years “put it behind them.”

You and the other parents here claiming that the real issue is judgmental parents are just repulsive human beings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The driver and other passengers all walked away with minor injuries. The story should include information about who was belted or not, because seatbelts do save lives and young people too often overlook them.

I think we can surmise that the boy who died was the front seat passenger and was not wearing a seatbelt. He probably broke his neck or had a massive head injury from the impact into the cars or the windshield or the street. I cannot imagine that these good friends had to sit there with their dying friend while waiting for EMS. So many lives destroyed in an instant.

So much purple prose for the drunk driver and other survivors.

[Anonymous]

I do not remember doing the particular wrong things that these teenagers did when I was that age, but I certainly did other wrong things that, luckily for me, never resulted in death or disaster like this. My heart goes out to all of these families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please remember that these boys were good friends.

With these stories I think more about the kid in jail who has to live with it the rest of his life and the parents who have to face regrets they may have and the fallout.

Yes. They’re more focal to how you see the world because you have more empathy for them. Because their kid is still alive. And they can collectively weep and say they’re heartbroken, get a line of credit and a good attorney, and after some years “put it behind them.”

You and the other parents here claiming that the real issue is judgmental parents are just repulsive human beings.

This is a lot of projection! I don't have more empathy for them. I think they have a lot of unknowns and turmoil ahead of them for years to come. And a lot of times they are ostracized and get very little sympathy at all, as evidenced by this entire thread and your response in the first place. I'm betting the parents of this kid are not "collectively weeping" with the parents of the son they killed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These kids were home from college on fall break. Many lives were ruined for stupid mistakes. It could have been anyone.

I agree many lives were ruined for stupid mistakes and it could have anffected anyone who was out on that road with them that night who was minding their own business in the wrong place and wrong time. Thank god that didn’t happen.

However I also don’t think acting like this is some random lightening strike act of fate is correct either for the kids who were in that car. Actions have consequences and these ones are far bigger than anyone should ever have to pay. It sucks.

I agree with you and honestly, the pushback reading like “how dare you blame an 18 year old! How dare you blame parents!” really disgusts me. Of course parents cannot control all outcomes. But honestly so many don’t try. And some of you know that you fit that description. You signed up to be a parent, but you’re fine if your kid inflicts pain and consequences that -they- deserve on actual innocents.

Obviously there are degrees of blame here and the driver holds the disproportionate amount, but are you saying the passengers who got into the car with their potentially drunk friend are "actual innocents"? Because I'm not sure that's fair.

[Anonymous]

This is such a horrible thing.

[Anonymous]

This what happens when parents take the buddy-buddy approach to parenting and allow underage drinking. I hope whoever supplied the alcohol also gets a charge.

[Anonymous]

Breaks my heart, my worst fear as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These kids were home from college on fall break. Many lives were ruined for stupid mistakes. It could have been anyone.

That’s not at all true and your attitude and language are really dangerous and immoral. Seriously. It’s not a “stupid mistake,” a “stupid mistake” is an inexperienced driver taking a turn a little too fast, or something like that. Driving when you’ve been drinking is pre-meditated, intentional, and well-informed reckless endangerment. Getting in the car with a drunk driver if you’re a college student in NOVA is also really bad and not a “stupid” “mistake.” You’re only responsible for your own death, but you’re also endorsing the driver in a way. The alternatives are very accessible. Call an Uber. Get a bus. Nobody was in distress with no alternatives in Arlington.

When you call this a “stupid mistake” you contribute to a culture that tell kids that it’s not a big deal. It IS a big deal and it’s completely unnecessary. You can drink yourself stupid without hurting anyone. Deciding to drive is a very, very, very different matter.

Just to be clear, this accident happened at 2am and the last Arlington county bus stops a bit after midnight, so I don't think that was a realistic option.

FWIW, I do think getting in a car with a drunk driver is a stupid mistake, and one that many teenagers (and non-teenagers for that matter) have made before. I see what you're saying about it being a kind of "endorsement," but I also recognize that the decision making of these kids might have been impaired all the way around. Yes, parents need to talk to kids sensibly about alcohol. But kids don't have fully developed pre-frontal cortexes. Combine that with substances that further impair thinking and you are going to get some bad results.

I will post some statistics on teen DUIs here:
In 2022, 19% of alcohol impaired drivers involved in fatal traffic crashes were age 15-20.
In 2022, 29% of alcohol-impaired drivers involved in fatal traffic crashes were age 21-24, the highest percentage compared to other age groups.
https://teendriversource.research.chop.edu/teen-crash-risks-prevention/rules-of-the-road/impaired-driving#:~:text=Be%20a%20role%20model.&text=In%202022%2C%2019%25%20of%20alcohol,compared%20to%20other%20age%20groups.

This site also notes that teen drivers are less likely than adults to drink and drive, but their crash risk is substantially higher when they do, even with low or moderate blood-alcohol levels.

In 2021, 23% of high school students nationwide reported drinking alcohol at least once during the past month.

The site advises parents to listen and be responsive to their kids' concerns, which are often practical. "Although it may be difficult to hear, encourage teens to share potential unsafe scenarios where parents may need to help. These can include being asked to ride home with someone who is impaired or driving while impaired....Teens need to know that they can always call their parents for a ride home instead of getting in a car with an impaired driver or driving themselves without being punished. Parents themselves can be the reason for teens saying "no" to peers to avoid unsafe situations." Teach your kids to come up with a code word/phrase that alerts parents to come in a and get them rather than being in an unsafe situation. "This code word or phrase could be anything, such as 'How is Aunt Julie feeling?' that signals that teens need help ight away. Parents can respond with, 'Not well, I need you to come home. How about if I pick you up now?'"

https://teendriversource.research.chop.edu/driving-alone/setting-house-rules/develop-a-code-word

Seems like calling to ask about Aunt Julie wouldn't have worked here at 2am, but think about these issues and discuss them with your kids and let something good come out of this. Having open lines of communication when kids come home from college - be ready for 1am texts etc -- can only be a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This what happens when parents take the buddy-buddy approach to parenting and allow underage drinking. I hope whoever supplied the alcohol also gets a charge.

Not so sure about that, tiger. My father was a domineering, strict as can be a**hole of a father to me and I still managed to drive drunk many times in HS. I was lucky, but very idiotic too.