Women (or men too I guess) did you change your last name after marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I had it to do over I would make my child’s middle name my last name and his dad’s name his last or would hyphenate.

This is what we did and it works well. I have been pleasantly surprised that my DC actually uses both names (totally her choice and I wouldn't blame her if she mostly just used her dad's name since it's her official last name) and also that other people make an effort to pay attention to this and will use both names when referring to our family (although none of us hyphenate, I'm fine with others hyphenating our names).

It helps that we live in a major city where a lot of families are like this. It's not novel to anyone and if people this it's weird or inappropriate they are smart enough to keep that opinion to themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't change my name (20.years ago) but I am ok being called "Mrs. Married Name."

I hate the phrase "the Smiths" or whatever because it sounds like it's from a 1950s stepford wife Christmas card.

Op, this is what I mean. It strikes me as so stepford. Like I recently asked for my friends address to send (just her) something and she replied, ‘send it to THE ROTHSCHILDS, 236 Park Avenue, NY NY (made up obviously)’ and it struck me as so icky.

Where is my friend in that?

I'm in my 50s and assume they are just spouting things like their parents used to say, by calling people "The Rothschilds." It's really dated.

[Anonymous]

Asking women on DCUM if they kept their last name and (basically) do you judge others who didn't, is liking asking DCUM if they are Democrats or Republicans. Ask the same question at a more neutral site (does this exist?) and you will have more varied responses.

[Anonymous]

I changed it. I wasn’t deep in my career so no potential issues there. I came from a family where we had different last names (lived with mom who had her own last name, step dad with his, and I had my dads) and I always sort of wished I had a family where we shared a last name.

I do think the practice is rooted in sexism but I also understand that sharing the same last name can make it more clear to the world that your a family unit and the desire to want to do that.

Personally, I wouldn’t hate on anyone for making their own choice on this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I kept my name because I liked it better than my husband's. It was as simple as that. If I had met a man whose last name I preferred to mine, I would have had no hesitation in making the change. What's most important to me is how the name sounds.

Same here. Also your last name tells something about your heritage and if you want to preserve that, then don't change it.

[Anonymous]

It's harder to find old friends if they changed their last name.

[Anonymous]

If you did project 2025 says you will lose your right yo vote buckle up ladies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asking women on DCUM if they kept their last name and (basically) do you judge others who didn't, is liking asking DCUM if they are Democrats or Republicans. Ask the same question at a more neutral site (does this exist?) and you will have more varied responses.

Cool story, bro

[Anonymous]

I didn't change mine. I'm not bothered by messages sent for The Smiths.

[Anonymous]

I changed my name. It was not a name that could easily be hyphenated. I didn’t love my maiden name and DH has a great last name. I also thought it would be much easier with children.

I have friends who did not change their last name, some who hyphenated their last name, and some who, like me, changed their last name. I can’t imagine anyone really cares one way or another.

[Anonymous]

No. Mostly because of the amount of paperwork needed here and in the old country. I would have had to change it back at some point - more paperwork - as the marriage was doomed before it started.

[Anonymous]

No, I would have lost all the publications before marriage.

[Anonymous]

I changed mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I kept my name because I liked it better than my husband's. It was as simple as that. If I had met a man whose last name I preferred to mine, I would have had no hesitation in making the change. What's most important to me is how the name sounds.

Yep. I changed my name for this reason- I liked my DH’s last name way better than my own, it is much easier to pronounce, and i prefer to have the same last name as my kids. If I had liked my last name better, I would have kept it.

[Anonymous]

It never occurred to me to change my name. I am 64.