Women (or men too I guess) did you change your last name after marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and I did not change my last name to my husbands last name because I am not his property. Such an outdated and disgusting tradition.

+1000

[Anonymous]

I did because I want everyone in the family (parents + kids) to have the same last name.

[Anonymous]

I did and regret it. I wanted to change it back, but think my husband will be offended. I like the idea on here of making my husbands last name my middle name if I ever did make the change back.

[Anonymous]

I did, gladly, because I have a very foreign first name that could be a last name, and a maiden name that sounds like a potential English first name. It was an endless source of confusion for me and very annoying. Dh's last name is an easy, clear last name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't change my name (20.years ago) but I am ok being called "Mrs. Married Name."

I hate the phrase "the Smiths" or whatever because it sounds like it's from a 1950s stepford wife Christmas card.

Op, this is what I mean. It strikes me as so stepford. Like I recently asked for my friends address to send (just her) something and she replied, ‘send it to THE ROTHSCHILDS, 236 Park Avenue, NY NY (made up obviously)’ and it struck me as so icky.

Where is my friend in that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and I did not change my last name to my husbands last name because I am not his property. Such an outdated and disgusting tradition.

+1000

This!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The one thing I will say that annoys the crap out of me is when people say something like "well, you just have another man's name, your Dad's". Dad and I were both given the last name at birth, as was my brother. No one tells my Dad or brother their names are not really theirs. Since I got the name exactly the same way they did, I feel my claim to it is just as legitimate as theirs.

Yeah like this isn’t an anti-man thing. I love my dad! And I love my name! I’ve had it my whole life. It’s mine!

[Anonymous]

This is suck a self selecting group. To believe this thread, 75% of women do not change their name, which is obviously not remotely reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is suck a self selecting group. To believe this thread, 75% of women do not change their name, which is obviously not remotely reality.

Educated women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't change my name (20.years ago) but I am ok being called "Mrs. Married Name."

I hate the phrase "the Smiths" or whatever because it sounds like it's from a 1950s stepford wife Christmas card.

Op, this is what I mean. It strikes me as so stepford. Like I recently asked for my friends address to send (just her) something and she replied, ‘send it to THE ROTHSCHILDS, 236 Park Avenue, NY NY (made up obviously)’ and it struck me as so icky.

Where is my friend in that?

In the Rothschild family? Keeping maiden name leaves you out too in a way if dh and kids share and you don't. Some people I know hyphenated but their names were great for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did because I want everyone in the family (parents + kids) to have the same last name.

This. I want to have the same last name as my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't change my name (20.years ago) but I am ok being called "Mrs. Married Name."

I hate the phrase "the Smiths" or whatever because it sounds like it's from a 1950s stepford wife Christmas card.

Op, this is what I mean. It strikes me as so stepford. Like I recently asked for my friends address to send (just her) something and she replied, ‘send it to THE ROTHSCHILDS, 236 Park Avenue, NY NY (made up obviously)’ and it struck me as so icky.

Where is my friend in that?

She’s part of that family unit. And that’s her preferred naming convention when it comes to addressing things to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I kept my name because I liked it better than my husband's. It was as simple as that. If I had met a man whose last name I preferred to mine, I would have had no hesitation in making the change. What's most important to me is how the name sounds.

This is the correct answer!! If his name is awesome, take it. If yours is, keep it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Why would I?

These are the stupidest types of posts ever. We know nothing about you- anonymous poster- so clearly no one can answer that question for you (nor are you impressing anyone with your feigned obtuseness as to why someone might make a choice that had traditionally been and remains most common among married couples.)

Just to provide a counterpoint I’ll share a few reasons why I personally chose to change my name.

1. I knew I wanted kids and wanted our family unit to all have a shared last name
2. Hyphenated names seemed overly complicated/pretentious
3. My father was a deadbeat and I had 0 desire to remain connected to him in name
4. We take multiple international flights per year (sometimes just one parent with kids) and having the same last name makes the security process less complicated
5. I objectively liked the sound of DH’s last name better
6. I’m a traditionalist at heart

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hyphenated and our kids have a hyphenated last name. DH just uses his last name.

We receive mail addressed to the Hyphenated last name family or Mr. and Mrs. John Hyphenated last name. NBD. It’s our family name.

To the posters annoyed when they receive mail addressed to The Johnson Family or Mr. and Mrs. John Johnson instead of Ms. Smith and Mr. Johnson or the Smith/Johnson family, please realize that nobody is tracking your preferred naming convention and sometimes it’s just easier to use the assumed family name (especially when mailing 100 holiday cards or wedding invitations).

I "track" the preferred names of friends and family. It's not that hard thanks to social media. You only have to learn it once after they marry.