Women (or men too I guess) did you change your last name after marriage?

[Anonymous]

I didn’t and somehow when my old friends send me something, noting it is from ‘THE HINKLEBOTTOMS’ rather than from how I think of them ‘Jane Maiden Name’ it strikes me as a little creepy stepford. My issue, I’m sure, but it does strike me

[Anonymous]

I kept my name because I liked it better than my husband's. It was as simple as that. If I had met a man whose last name I preferred to mine, I would have had no hesitation in making the change. What's most important to me is how the name sounds.

[Anonymous]

No I did not. Though I don't have the same reaction you do to friends who change their names. It's fine. Lots of people do it (way more than those of us who keep our names) so I get it's the default and that most people don't want to go against the grain.

By they way the one concern I had about keeping my name is that it would cause issues for my DC and I just want to note that it didn't. A handful of times teachers or others were mildly confused about DH and I having different last names but people acclimate quickly and I've never had to explain more than once.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, no issues for me either.

I don’t mind seeing ‘Jane new name’ but somehow ‘the new name’ strikes me as odd, not sure why.

[Anonymous]

My friends who insist on referring to themselves as ‘Mrs John Doe’ are invariably the ones who end up separated soon after. Idk why

[Anonymous]

I did not change my name and I am not bothered by others who have.

However, we just celebrated our 30th anniversary and the last two weddings have given me my DH’s last name on the mailings and the place setting at the receptions. Despite the couple knowing I did not change my name and despite both rides also not changing their name. In one case, the brides mother also did not change her name. It seems the software used still assumes that married couples share a last name.

[Anonymous]

Yes but I regret it.

While I wish I'd kept my maiden name, I was still always going to give my kids my husband's last name, so if I had I think I'd still be fine referring to our family as "the Hinklebottoms."

[Anonymous]

I hyphenated and our kids have a hyphenated last name. DH just uses his last name.

We receive mail addressed to the Hyphenated last name family or Mr. and Mrs. John Hyphenated last name. NBD. It’s our family name.

To the posters annoyed when they receive mail addressed to The Johnson Family or Mr. and Mrs. John Johnson instead of Ms. Smith and Mr. Johnson or the Smith/Johnson family, please realize that nobody is tracking your preferred naming convention and sometimes it’s just easier to use the assumed family name (especially when mailing 100 holiday cards or wedding invitations).

[Anonymous]

Larla Maiden New-Name

Changed maiden name to middle name (dropped original middle name - hated it, but a sibling kept hers and now has 4 names) and took new last name

[Anonymous]

I kept mine because it was easier professionally. It doesn't bother me at all if I'm addressed Mrs DHs last name or things are addressed to the DHs last name.

But I really have zero tie to last names. My last name isn't important to me. DHs last name isn't important to me. I only kept my last name because I didn't want to deal with the headache of all my professional licenses and because I have studies published with my last name.

[Anonymous]

I changed my name but kept my maiden name as a middle name. I changed because I wanted to—I guess because I thought it would be easier to identify us as a family unit? But I have many friends who didn’t and I have absolutely no opinion of their decision. Do whatever works for you.

[Anonymous]

I changed mine. I got married almost 20 years ago and hadn’t even started a job yet when as I was fresh out of law school. So no professional track record or publications or anything that I would be concerned wouldn’t continue to be associated with a new name. FWIW, all of my similarly situated friends did the same and we are all still married. Although if you got married post 2009 when I got my first iPhone and we were already friends, your name will forever be your original name because I’m way too lazy to go back in and change it.

[Anonymous]

I didn't change mine. I don't care if people use my husbands last name when addressing cards or whatever, I just didn't want to do all the paperwork.

[Anonymous]

nope.

[Anonymous]

I (the wife) did not change my name because I didn’t want to.

I don’t mind being accidentally called or addressed as Mrs Husband’s Name but it does annoy me if there is a chance for me to correct it (for instance, on a wedding rsvp), and it’s just ignored. Or if I’ve exchanged holiday cards with someone for years and they still revert to that assumption. It makes me assume they don’t care. I try myself to call people what they want to be called. I’m sure I’ve made my own mistakes, but I keep an address book and update it to try to be accurate. It just seems respectful.