“My friends warned me not to marry a white woman”

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you two aren't culturally compatible OP. If you don't have kids, think about whether you want to stay.

With his family pressuring him, the pressure on you to do everything is just going to get worse.

[Anonymous]

Both OP and her DH need to grow up and be better people and better partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But did he cook and clean while you dated? What made you all want to get married? You have to get back to that.

And I went to counseling with my ex. A few different counselors. They all told us to just hire a cleaning lady. Nope. I dumped the guy instead. I’m still annoyed with those counselors.

He did. He’s a great cook and kept a very clean house. He was also very progressive and feminist when we dated.

There’s been other stuff. He wants to talk a lot about European colonization and how horrible it was. Which it was, but I’m not really sure how to respond when he’s heavily implying he thinks I shouldn’t be here. Also various commentary on white people, like if we visit my family he’ll comment on how he’s freaked out by how many blonde people there are. If I pick up a hobby he’ll often comment how it’s a “white people thing”.

It's not like he , his family and friends turned on the racism and misogyny switch one fine evening.

+10000 It's fake, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op likes the Latin dominance and masculinity in bed but not the other 23 hrs of the day

Should’ve found a beta

Any more stereotypes you want to roll out?

(Try evolving. )

All the trolls are welcome on this thread! Sexist, racist, sahm vs wohm, OP vs ILs, alpha vs beta, cleaners vs slobs...share your story!

[Anonymous]

Have you ever read this board? Most men suck at cleaning. Even the white guys. Or especially them.

If he isn’t good at making money or making you happy and if his genetic material will produce dumb or lazy children, you can move on.

[Anonymous]

Did you do any research on cultural expectations before marrying him? I’m Latina and likely won’t marry a Latino man because I refuse to be his mother. I dont want to blame you entirely but he won’t change. Our culture has issues.

[Anonymous]

I’m white and married to a white woman. She does not cook or clean. I do it. We both work. She will compliment me when dinner is good, but will nag and complain about the house being dirty (especially the bathrooms and kitchen) and us needing cleaners…while she binge watches who dunnit murder shows. I also do all the yard work. I’d say look in the mirror being deciding “if you want to make a big deal out of this.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m white and married to a white woman. She does not cook or clean. I do it. We both work. She will compliment me when dinner is good, but will nag and complain about the house being dirty (especially the bathrooms and kitchen) and us needing cleaners…while she binge watches who dunnit murder shows. I also do all the yard work. I’d say look in the mirror being deciding “if you want to make a big deal out of this.”

so, tell her to hire cleaners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m white and married to a white woman. She does not cook or clean. I do it. We both work. She will compliment me when dinner is good, but will nag and complain about the house being dirty (especially the bathrooms and kitchen) and us needing cleaners…while she binge watches who dunnit murder shows. I also do all the yard work. I’d say look in the mirror being deciding “if you want to make a big deal out of this.”

so, tell her to hire cleaners

Then that will be another thing I need to manage…being here when them come, paying them, relaying her complaints to them.

[Anonymous]

American marriages are in a weird place right now. Were married to women who were raised by the 90 feminist generation, however while their husbands espoused to be enlightened, they really were more like their fathers. The mom instilled equality beliefs in them, which aren’t wrong obviously, but I feel like many believe that since they have careers the domestic responsibilities are no longer theirs…even though their husbands work too. Most families can’t afford to have cleaners, Nannies, landscapers, and order in every meal.

It’s possible op just doesn’t think she should have to do any cooking or cleaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did he think all the white women in America become maids for their husbands? What an ass.

The opposite. Hispanic women cook and clean and don’t require any chores of their husbands (according to him, his mom and his friends). White women nag their men to clean.

I have a Latina colleague who is in her 30s, recently married to a Latino. They also are having issues about these same things. She has been career oriented and has a big job. She is trying to adjust to cooking after work as she expects it of herself but she hates it. Up to this point she was not domestic at all and she is struggling with it. Her mother-in-law has been a problem since they got serious. They were going to counseling before they got married. I live in California and have had many Latina colleagues over the years. The older ones did the second shift or just did not get married because they didn't want to live like this. For younger people, like my newly married friend, I think there will have to be serious cultural change on expectations for women, or there will be a lot of divorces. The expectations are ridiculous!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m white and married to a white woman. She does not cook or clean. I do it. We both work. She will compliment me when dinner is good, but will nag and complain about the house being dirty (especially the bathrooms and kitchen) and us needing cleaners…while she binge watches who dunnit murder shows. I also do all the yard work. I’d say look in the mirror being deciding “if you want to make a big deal out of this.”

so, tell her to hire cleaners

Then that will be another thing I need to manage…being here when them come, paying them, relaying her complaints to them.

Geez, just do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m white and married to a white woman. She does not cook or clean. I do it. We both work. She will compliment me when dinner is good, but will nag and complain about the house being dirty (especially the bathrooms and kitchen) and us needing cleaners…while she binge watches who dunnit murder shows. I also do all the yard work. I’d say look in the mirror being deciding “if you want to make a big deal out of this.”

so, tell her to hire cleaners

Then that will be another thing I need to manage…being here when them come, paying them, relaying her complaints to them.

Geez, just do it.

+1. Beats doing the cleaning yourself by a mile.

[Anonymous]

So, is your husband a Black Hispanic or an Asian Hispanic? Because if not, he’s white. And he’s descended from colonialist invaders himself. I assume he is not a Central or South American indigenous person, or you wouldn’t have described him as Hispanic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m white and married to a white woman. She does not cook or clean. I do it. We both work. She will compliment me when dinner is good, but will nag and complain about the house being dirty (especially the bathrooms and kitchen) and us needing cleaners…while she binge watches who dunnit murder shows. I also do all the yard work. I’d say look in the mirror being deciding “if you want to make a big deal out of this.”

so, tell her to hire cleaners

Then that will be another thing I need to manage…being here when them come, paying them, relaying her complaints to them.

Don't manage it. Tell her to manage it, or she needs to clean.

-dw