Struggling with a decision my college freshman just made

[Anonymous]

OP, bravo to your DD for finding a solution. It may not have been your solution or the “best” solution, but it is a solution that she feels good about. She can always retake the class for a grade at a later date. Part of college is taking challenging classes and building up confidence. She found a way to help build her confidence in the face of challenge. That’s a whole heck of a lot better than failing, feeling like a failure, and then not being able to move forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is fine. She can always retake it. Nothing she does in freshman here is going to alter the course of her life. College is a massive adjustment and learning experience and kids make all kinds of decisions. I have worked in academic for 15 years. As they develop agency and independence, they start to figure out the decision making process. It doesn't really matter if it was the best or not best decision. She felt a certain way, sought advice, sought support, weighed her options and made a decision. She is miles ahead of a lot of freshman! Applaud her on working through the process and give her the space of the rest of the year to see how things go. She can always talk to an academic advisor next year and again weigh her options.

Thank you so much for your response. This is exactly what I needed to hear!

As an aside, I'm struggling to find her university's policies about pass/fail (which is frustrating/confusing). I went to William and Mary a generation ago, and they were hard asses about it. It's possible, as I keep trying to find information, that her flagship is more flexible.

Omg OP. So you don’t even know for sure that get major will be impacted? You may have created a lot of drama she doesn’t need with your impulsive reaction.

Are you sure she doesn’t suffer from having an overly-reactive mother? I would work on that and leave my child to figure out her life. She’s the one who has to live it.

[Anonymous]

I would take the long view. This one decision won’t make or break her.

She will learn from it no matter what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is fine. She can always retake it. Nothing she does in freshman here is going to alter the course of her life. College is a massive adjustment and learning experience and kids make all kinds of decisions. I have worked in academic for 15 years. As they develop agency and independence, they start to figure out the decision making process. It doesn't really matter if it was the best or not best decision. She felt a certain way, sought advice, sought support, weighed her options and made a decision. She is miles ahead of a lot of freshman! Applaud her on working through the process and give her the space of the rest of the year to see how things go. She can always talk to an academic advisor next year and again weigh her options.

Thank you so much for your response. This is exactly what I needed to hear!

As an aside, I'm struggling to find her university's policies about pass/fail (which is frustrating/confusing). I went to William and Mary a generation ago, and they were hard asses about it. It's possible, as I keep trying to find information, that her flagship is more flexible.

You’re too involved, mama. You should not be searching for policies. That’s your child’s job.

[Anonymous]

OP, just remind yourself it could be a lot worse. She could be failing out many of her classes. But it sounds like she is trying to be responsible, take good notes, etc. Take a deep breath and let this go. She is only a freshman, and in the grand scheme of things this one course doesn't matter that much. You're not even sure she will end up needing it for her major because she's still a freshman and figuring out what she wants to do in life.