2 married professors having an affair. Do I report it?

[Anonymous]

You sound oddly jealous, op. Why does this bother you so much? It has nothing to do with you.

[Anonymous]

You don’t get to police other people’s lives.

Pay attention to your own family and work.

[Anonymous]

By definition most tenured professors are odd birds. While it sounds like OP has been on campus for a while, it does not seem like she's at all familiar with academia. I once asked my director if we could get some sort of chart that outlined which professors had been married to or partnered with whom. Because none of them changed their names, and some of them were on second and third marriages, and almost ALL of the concerned parties were still at the university.

Basically, the only safe solution was to keep your mouth shut and never complain about another professor EVER where someone could overhear you. Because inevitably the person walking by your door would be their spouse who normally was in their own department building a half mile away who you'd never met before.

And oh yeah, academic folks and staff will keep grudges for literal decades. Tread very carefully, OP. If you like your field at all, you need to think hard about what enemies you want to make.

[Anonymous]

You should join in their fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Comrade, I strongly encourage you to report such behavior directly to KGB domestic bureau. We will take active measures to ensure no such subversion among intelligentsia. You will surely be nominated for Order of Lenin.

I would definitely tell the spouse (probably not administration) but this made me laugh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are consenting adults. Who would you report this to?

I’d stay out of it.

+1 Is this a military college. If not, I don't think adultery is against the rule at most unis.

[Anonymous]

Find a way to tell the spouses anonymously

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of the moment an acquaintance told me she had seen my father with another woman. My mom figured this out and kick him out of the house. How to not forget those horrible long months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find a way to tell the spouses anonymously

I vote for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would read this book.

+100

…and feel a little gross about it.
But I’d definitely still read it!

[Anonymous]

Do you work at Liberty University?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in academia and recently confirmed that 2 colleagues are having an affair. They’re both strange birds and have acted weird and uncomfortably close to each other for a couple years. I swear I’ve seen covert touching here and there. Others have noticed as well. They share an office and occasionally lock the door and not for a student meeting.

Well it was confirmed when I saw them out together at dinner in another town. (They didn’t see me). And I saw them making out in the parking lot before driving away in their separate cars.

This makes me sick. They are both solidly married with children. I don’t really know the protocol for this.

If you don’t know the protocol — which is to MYOB — your parents raised you wrong.

What a bizarre impulse.

+1

[Anonymous]

Stay out of it. The truth always comes to light.

[Anonymous]

Uh my husband is allowed to f whomever he wants.

[Anonymous]

I would not get involved, OP.

When I was younger, I gossiped with a coworker about a senior person who was obviously having an affair with a subordinate (one of my peers). My coworker ended up not being a trustworthy person and communicated this to the senior person, who got me fired on a pretext a few months later. I ended up fine, but it was a very stressful situation to be in at the time. I know you’re in a different situation professionally vis a vis this colleague, but the point is you don’t know how stuff like this can backfire.

I agree that on a personal level it sucks that you know this about your colleagues, but it’s not your information to share.