Does your DH/BF take care of you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what to say. I've never been so sick with a respiratory illness that I cannot grab my own tissues. To me you sound needy and high maintenance and I wouldn't want you for a spouse. And I'm a female. I get it if you get your leg chomped off by a shark, but a throat coat tea? You do realize that when you actually have kids and you're sick, nobody cares?

Like attracts like. Enjoy your cold marriage.

[Anonymous]

My amazing late husband always looked after my needs and comfort, and I did the same for him. We didn’t have to ask. He was a medical doctor, so it was ingrained in him, lol. It was my greatest honor to take care of him everyday from the day of his cancer diagnosis until he died in our bed. I think your boyfriend sounds very kind. Does he treat you well when you are not sick? Make sure to be as kind to him as he is to you. Life can end in the blink of an eye. Personally, I would care more about how he treated you in everyday situations. He sounds very nice though. Good luck and reciprocate the love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what to say. I've never been so sick with a respiratory illness that I cannot grab my own tissues. To me you sound needy and high maintenance and I wouldn't want you for a spouse. And I'm a female. I get it if you get your leg chomped off by a shark, but a throat coat tea? You do realize that when you actually have kids and you're sick, nobody cares?

You know, it’s just nice to care for others you love. It doesn’t make anyone weak. You sound very cold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My amazing late husband always looked after my needs and comfort, and I did the same for him. We didn’t have to ask. He was a medical doctor, so it was ingrained in him, lol. It was my greatest honor to take care of him everyday from the day of his cancer diagnosis until he died in our bed. I think your boyfriend sounds very kind. Does he treat you well when you are not sick? Make sure to be as kind to him as he is to you. Life can end in the blink of an eye. Personally, I would care more about how he treated you in everyday situations. He sounds very nice though. Good luck and reciprocate the love.

Thank you for sharing, pp. What a beautiful love story. I aspire to do the same.

[Anonymous]

My exDH never did but my boyfriend is a sweetheart and a giver and attentive. He doesn’t make as much money as exDH and I DON’T CARE! This is way better!

[Anonymous]

DH was like this when we dated and still is after 16yrs of marriage. He’s a saint. We compliment each other very well.

[Anonymous]

Yes my husband does this kind of thing. He's sweet.

[Anonymous]

I was pregnant with a 104 degree fever and a toddler to take care of. Called my husband and he said he had a meeting at work. Came home as if nothing happened, expecting dinner. It’s been 22 years and I still remember how awful I felt that day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not want that.

I want a partner who’s Wes me as a competent adult, not a needy, dependent child who need to be looked after.

If I need something, yes he will go get it, but hover over me and rush around and pat my back and bring me a tissue because I have a cold…that would be a major red flag for me.

You don't have to want that. But OP liked it. What's wrong with that??

[Anonymous]

I’ve been married for 20 years and if my husband did this for me I would be annoyed.

He will pick up the slack with meals (not laundry) when I’m sick. He might pick something I need up from the pharmacy or store. If I ask him to bring me a drink, he will. That’s it. Otherwise I prefer to be left alone when I am sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your BF sounds very demure, very mindful

Love you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what to say. I've never been so sick with a respiratory illness that I cannot grab my own tissues. To me you sound needy and high maintenance and I wouldn't want you for a spouse. And I'm a female. I get it if you get your leg chomped off by a shark, but a throat coat tea? You do realize that when you actually have kids and you're sick, nobody cares?

You know, I grew up in a house with a mom who was sick a lot, and I remember being so careful bringing tea to her room, my brother and I arguing over arranging a tray of toast and a get well card, folding laundry while watching cartoons, etc. Because of that we learned to expect that level of care when we are sick and to care for our loved ones that way when they are sick. My SIL just had surgery and I was at her house getting the 4 yr old to put away clean silverware while the 8 yr old made a get well card. My brother was on a conference call and folding laundry. Loving families help each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is an MD and does nothing when I am sick or hurt.

Same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not want that.

I want a partner who’s Wes me as a competent adult, not a needy, dependent child who need to be looked after.

If I need something, yes he will go get it, but hover over me and rush around and pat my back and bring me a tissue because I have a cold…that would be a major red flag for me.

You don't have to want that. But OP liked it. What's wrong with that??

It’s toxic femininity. No one would think it was sweet or lovely or wonderful if a man wanted and liked that. If a man posted about having a cold and his wife sitting up all night to rub his back and hand him his tissues….he would have been blasted, name called, criticized. The reasons it’s acceptable for women and not men is because of the genderized view that women’s are weak, not competent, need a man to look after them, are dependent on others etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not want that.

I want a partner who’s Wes me as a competent adult, not a needy, dependent child who need to be looked after.

If I need something, yes he will go get it, but hover over me and rush around and pat my back and bring me a tissue because I have a cold…that would be a major red flag for me.

You don't have to want that. But OP liked it. What's wrong with that??

It’s toxic femininity. No one would think it was sweet or lovely or wonderful if a man wanted and liked that. If a man posted about having a cold and his wife sitting up all night to rub his back and hand him his tissues….he would have been blasted, name called, criticized. The reasons it’s acceptable for women and not men is because of the genderized view that women’s are weak, not competent, need a man to look after them, are dependent on others etc.

OP. GMAFB with this politicized garbage. You can have a loving supportive partner and still be a strong person.

I am better educated and earn more than he does (and who knows, maybe more than you pp).