Does your DH/BF take care of you?

[Anonymous]

I don't know what to say. I've never been so sick with a respiratory illness that I cannot grab my own tissues. To me you sound needy and high maintenance and I wouldn't want you for a spouse. And I'm a female. I get it if you get your leg chomped off by a shark, but a throat coat tea? You do realize that when you actually have kids and you're sick, nobody cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sick and last night BF set me up with throat coat tea, prescription anti-tussive, tissues and wastebasket and went to my apartment while I was napping to get the inhaler I forgot. When I woke up coughing overnight he calmly kept his hand on my back and at 4am got up to set up a humidifier. On a scale of 1-10 where are we?

Fetching your inhaler puts him above the cut. Getting up in the middle of the night to take care of someone who is not himself and not spending the whole next day complaining about interrupted sleep is an EXTREMELY IMPORTANT life skill to look for in a spouse. 95% of postpartum posts would disappear if most husbands could do this.

The rest (tea, tissues, not yelling at you for coughing) is basic decency.

Make sure you're returning the favor when he gets sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what to say. I've never been so sick with a respiratory illness that I cannot grab my own tissues. To me you sound needy and high maintenance and I wouldn't want you for a spouse. And I'm a female. I get it if you get your leg chomped off by a shark, but a throat coat tea? You do realize that when you actually have kids and you're sick, nobody cares?

Wow. I, however, do know what to say: That was mean, PP.

Of course OP could have grabbed her own tissues. But it sounds sweet that her BF did that for her. It wasn't that she can't take care of herself, it is that somebody is there to take care of her and show their love and concern.

When my DH is sick I make him tea or a snack and bring it to him. I do his errands and run out to the store to get things he needs/wants. And he does the same for me. Of COURSE I can drive to Walgreens to get the Sudafed myself. But it is really nice to have somebody thoughtfully do that. Hey, I have kids AND a husband and they ALL care when I don't feel well. You know why? Because both my husband and I have modelled caring behavior. When I'm sick, DH cares for me. When he's sick, I care for him. And when our kids are sick, we care for them. And you know what? My kids now also care for me when I'm sick.

I'm so sorry if nobody cares for you anymore.

Here's a badly misquoted quote for you: What is love but the irrational desire to make somebody else's journey through life a little bit easier?

[Anonymous]

10. My ex-husband never got up through the night one time with kids, and when I broke my wrist, he wouldn’t even bathe the kids. I had to do it and wrap my cast with a garbage bag.

This guy is a 10.

[Anonymous]

I would not want that.

I want a partner who’s Wes me as a competent adult, not a needy, dependent child who need to be looked after.

If I need something, yes he will go get it, but hover over me and rush around and pat my back and bring me a tissue because I have a cold…that would be a major red flag for me.

[Anonymous]

Forget the man cold, this is the new woman cold. Baby syndrome for both.

It isn’t sweet in any way.

[Anonymous]

Maybe a fetish or a kink? There are ones where people like taking care of adults as though they were babies who can’t do anything for themself.

[Anonymous]

He sounds amazing!

My DH is similar, once he realizes it's something serious. I messed up my back and havent been able to walk the dog or (for some days) get out of bed. He took over the entire household and did everything for a solid two weeks. When I woke up screaming in the middle of the night he offered to make up the spare room so I could spread out, he got me a new heating pad and ice pack and brought me food and pain pills on the schedule he made. I'm feeling better now and am so so thankful to have someone I can consider a true partner.

[Anonymous]

No, my husband is a doctor and apparently is great with patients but I'm on my own.

[Anonymous]

Yes. What a silly question. **rolls eyes**

[Anonymous]

Of course he does but thankfully I’m rarely sick. But when I am he will often check on me and get me whatever I need. Most of the time I just want rest and quiet. He’s been a great husband for many years so he definitely takes care of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sick and last night BF set me up with throat coat tea, prescription anti-tussive, tissues and wastebasket and went to my apartment while I was napping to get the inhaler I forgot. When I woke up coughing overnight he calmly kept his hand on my back and at 4am got up to set up a humidifier. On a scale of 1-10 where are we?

Get real, You are in the lovey dovey phase. This too will pass!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a class thing? The UMC men I’ve dated never did things like this, only the MC ones would.

My UMC guy does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sick and last night BF set me up with throat coat tea, prescription anti-tussive, tissues and wastebasket and went to my apartment while I was napping to get the inhaler I forgot. When I woke up coughing overnight he calmly kept his hand on my back and at 4am got up to set up a humidifier. On a scale of 1-10 where are we?

Get real, You are in the lovey dovey phase. This too will pass!

This guy grew up in a nurturing household and does these things naturally. He's a keeper, OP.

[Anonymous]

Return the favor when he gets sick.