Son starting to go over a girl’s house….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. Are you guys seriously suggesting that parents of teens who are dating reach out to each other due to their kids relationships? Please land your helicopters. Teens have been hooking up since the beginning of time. Do not do this. You will create a hostile environment, where your kids won't tell you what they are doing and who they are doing it with, and they'll just do it.

Yes. And not just dating but even friendships or club activities together means that you connect with parents. At the HS level, you should have the phone numbers of kids and parents of most close friends. At college level, phone number of the roommates and their parents.

I live in a diverse community and it is quite common for parents to be in touch with each other. We are not subscribing to broken family or social systems.

H E L I C O P T E R

Huh? This is basic safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. Are you guys seriously suggesting that parents of teens who are dating reach out to each other due to their kids relationships? Please land your helicopters. Teens have been hooking up since the beginning of time. Do not do this. You will create a hostile environment, where your kids won't tell you what they are doing and who they are doing it with, and they'll just do it.

Yes. And not just dating but even friendships or club activities together means that you connect with parents. At the HS level, you should have the phone numbers of kids and parents of most close friends. At college level, phone number of the roommates and their parents.

I live in a diverse community and it is quite common for parents to be in touch with each other. We are not subscribing to broken family or social systems.

H E L I C O P T E R

Huh? This is basic safety.

knowing every single friend's number and their friend's parents numbers are not basic safety. How many of your mom's had the phone numbers of every friend you hung out with. It's so overbearing and actually icky. I wouldn't want some Dad texting my daughters at all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teach him to reciprocate, with consent of course.

The consent really needs to be in writing.

Are there some good apps for this?

[Anonymous]

My son goes over to a girl's house. There is always at least one other person home -- usually an older, college-age sibling. The kids hang out, listen to music, play video games, walk to the store for snacks, etc.

I don't worry about it, honestly. Their kid has gone places with us and has really got her stuff together. The kids just have fun. If it were handholding, making 'eyes' at each other, etc then I'd perhaps reconsider. But right now - let 'em be kids, OP. But -- obviously -- definitely talk about sex and prevention. Always have that talk and provide reminders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. Are you guys seriously suggesting that parents of teens who are dating reach out to each other due to their kids relationships? Please land your helicopters. Teens have been hooking up since the beginning of time. Do not do this. You will create a hostile environment, where your kids won't tell you what they are doing and who they are doing it with, and they'll just do it.

Yes. And not just dating but even friendships or club activities together means that you connect with parents. At the HS level, you should have the phone numbers of kids and parents of most close friends. At college level, phone number of the roommates and their parents.

I live in a diverse community and it is quite common for parents to be in touch with each other. We are not subscribing to broken family or social systems.

H E L I C O P T E R

Huh? This is basic safety.

knowing every single friend's number and their friend's parents numbers are not basic safety. How many of your mom's had the phone numbers of every friend you hung out with. It's so overbearing and actually icky. I wouldn't want some Dad texting my daughters at all

My mother absolutely did. So if she needed to find me she could. That was maybe less so as I got older but in HS? Yes. And who is talking about texting someone else's kid? I said safety, not group chatting.

And Icky? What are you 5?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. Are you guys seriously suggesting that parents of teens who are dating reach out to each other due to their kids relationships? Please land your helicopters. Teens have been hooking up since the beginning of time. Do not do this. You will create a hostile environment, where your kids won't tell you what they are doing and who they are doing it with, and they'll just do it.

Yes. And not just dating but even friendships or club activities together means that you connect with parents. At the HS level, you should have the phone numbers of kids and parents of most close friends. At college level, phone number of the roommates and their parents.

I live in a diverse community and it is quite common for parents to be in touch with each other. We are not subscribing to broken family or social systems.

H E L I C O P T E R

Huh? This is basic safety.

knowing every single friend's number and their friend's parents numbers are not basic safety. How many of your mom's had the phone numbers of every friend you hung out with. It's so overbearing and actually icky. I wouldn't want some Dad texting my daughters at all

What! My parents did know the parents of everyone I hung out with. Standard suburban high school. They regularly saw them grocery shopping or other places around town. Maybe you mean a larger cjty high school.

[Anonymous]

Condoms and consent. Having navigated this recently with a 15 yr old couple, they are communicating constantly via chat and since we still have access to the apps can see there is regular check in about consent. When they started spending time together we bought the first box of condoms and went over the need to use. They buy their own now. There is nothing wrong with sexual activity in a healthy committed relationship. Frankly there is nothing wrong with teens exploring in non-committed relationships either, but what is happening is fine with both sets of parents. And we speak regularly as parents because there are things teenagers need outside of their teenage relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait. Are you guys seriously suggesting that parents of teens who are dating reach out to each other due to their kids relationships? Please land your helicopters. Teens have been hooking up since the beginning of time. Do not do this. You will create a hostile environment, where your kids won't tell you what they are doing and who they are doing it with, and they'll just do it.

Yes. And not just dating but even friendships or club activities together means that you connect with parents. At the HS level, you should have the phone numbers of kids and parents of most close friends. At college level, phone number of the roommates and their parents.

I live in a diverse community and it is quite common for parents to be in touch with each other. We are not subscribing to broken family or social systems.

H E L I C O P T E R

Huh? This is basic safety.

knowing every single friend's number and their friend's parents numbers are not basic safety. How many of your mom's had the phone numbers of every friend you hung out with. It's so overbearing and actually icky. I wouldn't want some Dad texting my daughters at all

My mother absolutely did. So if she needed to find me she could. That was maybe less so as I got older but in HS? Yes. And who is talking about texting someone else's kid? I said safety, not group chatting.

And Icky? What are you 5?

Not the PP but I think my parents knew maybe 1-2 phone numbers of super close friends and 90% of the time they had no way of reaching me from like 3rd grade on. I was always told when to be home. Biked and walked everywhere. In high school when I made new friends my parents NEVER asked for their phone number and no one else did the same. I mean I hung out with like 10-20 new kids at various times. I had curfew and that was it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Condoms and consent. Having navigated this recently with a 15 yr old couple, they are communicating constantly via chat and since we still have access to the apps can see there is regular check in about consent. When they started spending time together we bought the first box of condoms and went over the need to use. They buy their own now. There is nothing wrong with sexual activity in a healthy committed relationship. Frankly there is nothing wrong with teens exploring in non-committed relationships either, but what is happening is fine with both sets of parents. And we speak regularly as parents because there are things teenagers need outside of their teenage relationships.

A 15 year old couple? And you are promoting this? Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Condoms and consent. Having navigated this recently with a 15 yr old couple, they are communicating constantly via chat and since we still have access to the apps can see there is regular check in about consent. When they started spending time together we bought the first box of condoms and went over the need to use. They buy their own now. There is nothing wrong with sexual activity in a healthy committed relationship. Frankly there is nothing wrong with teens exploring in non-committed relationships either, but what is happening is fine with both sets of parents. And we speak regularly as parents because there are things teenagers need outside of their teenage relationships.

A 15 year old couple? And you are promoting this? Wow.

And all of the parents are discussing this and monitoring their chats. It's unsettling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Condoms and consent. Having navigated this recently with a 15 yr old couple, they are communicating constantly via chat and since we still have access to the apps can see there is regular check in about consent. When they started spending time together we bought the first box of condoms and went over the need to use. They buy their own now. There is nothing wrong with sexual activity in a healthy committed relationship. Frankly there is nothing wrong with teens exploring in non-committed relationships either, but what is happening is fine with both sets of parents. And we speak regularly as parents because there are things teenagers need outside of their teenage relationships.

A 15 year old couple? And you are promoting this? Wow.

And all of the parents are discussing this and monitoring their chats. It's unsettling.

Basically encouraging their 15 year olds to engage in intimate relations!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Condoms and consent. Having navigated this recently with a 15 yr old couple, they are communicating constantly via chat and since we still have access to the apps can see there is regular check in about consent. When they started spending time together we bought the first box of condoms and went over the need to use. They buy their own now. There is nothing wrong with sexual activity in a healthy committed relationship. Frankly there is nothing wrong with teens exploring in non-committed relationships either, but what is happening is fine with both sets of parents. And we speak regularly as parents because there are things teenagers need outside of their teenage relationships.

A 15 year old couple? And you are promoting this? Wow.

And all of the parents are discussing this and monitoring their chats. It's unsettling.

Basically encouraging their 15 year olds to engage in intimate relations!

Yuck!

[Anonymous]

Kids are going to have sex, full stop. If they found a respectful partner and are doing it at 15, or 17, they are still doing it. Preparing them with education and tools is not encouraging them to have sex it's preparing them for the inevitable.

Do you remember when you were a teen? I'm not sure if this group is just a bunch of nerds or have group selective memory

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. When my now 17 started hanging out with her boyfriend (she was 14.5) and he invited her to his house, his mom texted me, introduced herself and told me she was going to be there, working. They were together for 2.5 years and we had a goos relationship with his parents, not close by any means, just communicative.

+1. As a boy mom, I absolutely do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Condoms and consent. Having navigated this recently with a 15 yr old couple, they are communicating constantly via chat and since we still have access to the apps can see there is regular check in about consent. When they started spending time together we bought the first box of condoms and went over the need to use. They buy their own now. There is nothing wrong with sexual activity in a healthy committed relationship. Frankly there is nothing wrong with teens exploring in non-committed relationships either, but what is happening is fine with both sets of parents. And we speak regularly as parents because there are things teenagers need outside of their teenage relationships.

A 15 year old couple? And you are promoting this? Wow.

And all of the parents are discussing this and monitoring their chats. It's unsettling.

Basically encouraging their 15 year olds to engage in intimate relations!

OH, they'll do it, support or not!