Son starting to go over a girl’s house….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh dear. He’s not even a freshman and you’re allowing this crap?

Oh dear indeed! How dare teenagers consider having a relationship!

What's your problem exactly PP? This is totally developmentally appropriate and in fact a lot of counselors/psychologists are concerned about the lack of IRL relationships among teens these days and what it means. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend teaches kids many important things things and gives them companionship, happiness, and potentially joy and love.

+1. My take is that a lot of Mom’s on this board have ‘married’ their sons.

Make sure he has condoms talk about consent mind your own business. In sum, let him have a life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. Should I be connecting with the mom to make sure she knows he is being invited over?

Yes! Make sure the parents are inviting him, not their daughter. Otherwise, it’s not ok.

[Anonymous]

Parents need to know how to reach each other, if necessary .. and be able to do so confidentially. Parents should "just so you know ..." mention if they are going out of town for the weekend, for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD 16 had a boy (her crush) over a lot last school year. I would have appreciated it if the mom had reached out to me simply to exchange numbers so that we could communicate if needed.
I gave this kid rides all year and he and DD hung out regularly. DD never went to his house. I wonder if his parents even knew where he was. Sometimes he was over past midnight.

Is there a reason you haven't reached out to her?
I'm the boy mom in this situation and I feel kind of bad about not reaching out to the parents, but the relationship sort of snuck up on me, and after a while it seemed like it would be odd. It does seem like the girls' parents like him and often offer to take him out places or over for family BBQ, etc. I do try to have her over too, and she has been over a few times, but I sense they are more comfortable (or maybe she's more comfortable) with her being on her turf, plus I'm okay with him taking the public bus to her house and they aren't comfortable with her taking the bus alone. I'm going to dig up their numbers and at least send them a text to say that I'm always happy to have her over, as she's such a nice girl .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him NEVER to be alone with a girl. They will lie about what happens and talk at school. If she ends up pregnant she’ll blame him even though she sleeps around.

#boymom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh dear. He’s not even a freshman and you’re allowing this crap?

Oh dear indeed! How dare teenagers consider having a relationship!

What's your problem exactly PP? This is totally developmentally appropriate and in fact a lot of counselors/psychologists are concerned about the lack of IRL relationships among teens these days and what it means. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend teaches kids many important things things and gives them companionship, happiness, and potentially joy and love.

Any counsellor / psychologist who thinks 13/14 year olds need to be in serious romantic relationships should lose their license.

[Anonymous]

Wait. Are you guys seriously suggesting that parents of teens who are dating reach out to each other due to their kids relationships? Please land your helicopters. Teens have been hooking up since the beginning of time. Do not do this. You will create a hostile environment, where your kids won't tell you what they are doing and who they are doing it with, and they'll just do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. Should I be connecting with the mom to make sure she knows he is being invited over?

It’s nice if you give the parents your contact information. How is he getting to your house if they don’t take him? They aren’t driving at that age. There will be things that parents will want to be involved with like homecoming pictures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks. Should I be connecting with the mom to make sure she knows he is being invited over?

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would girl moms appreciate from me as the boy’s mom. They will both be entering HS next year. This is new for me so would love all of the thoughts. Thanks.

Have him give her space too and not be over there 24/7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait. Are you guys seriously suggesting that parents of teens who are dating reach out to each other due to their kids relationships? Please land your helicopters. Teens have been hooking up since the beginning of time. Do not do this. You will create a hostile environment, where your kids won't tell you what they are doing and who they are doing it with, and they'll just do it.

Dp. There is a difference between 13/14 and 16/17
Girls especially need to learn that they don't need a boy to make themselves 'complete'. It usn't being a helicopter. It is being a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make sure he knows about birth control and other sex ed stuff like consent, not being selfish, etc.

CONDOMS.

OP is a boy-mom and she’s speaking to other boy-moms. Please don’t sugar coat this issue; say the word: CONDOMS. People: buy your sons some condoms. Don’t just buy a lame 3-pack; that is used up in one night. Buy a dozen and make sure he knows about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just for him to be polite, personable. Manners, say please and thank you and make eye contact, say hello and goodbye. Clean up after yourself. Usual stuff.

This. No sex.

Why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make sure he knows about birth control and other sex ed stuff like consent, not being selfish, etc.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure he knows about birth control and other sex ed stuff like consent, not being selfish, etc.

CONDOMS.

OP is a boy-mom and she’s speaking to other boy-moms. Please don’t sugar coat this issue; say the word: CONDOMS. People: buy your sons some condoms. Don’t just buy a lame 3-pack; that is used up in one night. Buy a dozen and make sure he knows about them.

This