He canceled our date

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:many seem to judge people in these stories as good or bad

If a woman cancels two dates, then she is being responsible about work and quality time with her kids. If a man cancels one date then he is a butthurt incel. Similarly, a woman holding parallel dating conversations is just politely responding. But a man who talks to multiple women is a player. Only women are allowed to have standards and set boundaries.

Many posters just want to restrict dating options of men while expanding opportunities for women. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

“Politely responding” or broadening opportunities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The biggest factor I consider early on in a relationship is whether the other person prioritizes our relationship. I've met many women who were online dating but not willing to make the time to prioritize dating. Lots were single moms or women pursuing advanced degrees that wanted to date but I felt didn't have the time.

That didn't make them a bad person (quite the opposite) just a bad fit for me at the time. It is weird how so many seem to judge people in these stories as good or bad people when they just have differing priorities.

In the early days of dating you don't have a relationship. You're going on dates to see if this is someone you want to have a relationship with.

But you *do* have a (personal) relationship with your kids. You do have a (professional) relationship with your coworkers and your job. So prioritizing those makes sense.

And cutting loose some stranger who thinks he should take priority over your family or your career also makes sense. Cutting you off from the things that matter to you is an abuser move.

[Anonymous]

This doesn't sound like a good match to me. And OP, you need to take responsibility for your schedule. Sure, you have work priorities. That's fine. And he is weighing that when it comes to the kind of relationship he wants. I wouldn't read too much into this other than incompatibility of schedules and priorities.

Either communicate directly on the matter or let him loose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months now. I’m in healthcare and work extra hours often to help pay down student loans. A co-worker went into early labor and I covered 2 extra shifts. I’ve had to cancel on him twice - once on the second date, on last night. Today he asks if I’m actually interested in him, or if I’m using work as an excuse to not see him. I explained the issue and my current lifestyle, and he said he responded happy and ready for a date, but he texted me at 6 to cancel our date for tomorrow night with no explanation. What is going on here?

He is just following your lead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biggest factor I consider early on in a relationship is whether the other person prioritizes our relationship. I've met many women who were online dating but not willing to make the time to prioritize dating. Lots were single moms or women pursuing advanced degrees that wanted to date but I felt didn't have the time.

That didn't make them a bad person (quite the opposite) just a bad fit for me at the time. It is weird how so many seem to judge people in these stories as good or bad people when they just have differing priorities.

In the early days of dating you don't have a relationship. You're going on dates to see if this is someone you want to have a relationship with.

But you *do* have a (personal) relationship with your kids. You do have a (professional) relationship with your coworkers and your job. So prioritizing those makes sense.

And cutting loose some stranger who thinks he should take priority over your family or your career also makes sense. Cutting you off from the things that matter to you is an abuser move.

Not a reasonable assessment in this situation.

If OP has a family & a career, then maybe dating relationships are not wise to pursue at this time.

[Anonymous]

You either have time for someone or you don't, OP. A lot of men out there are being advised not to date a woman who works in healthcare/nursing because they work weird hours, long shifts, and won't have time for a relationship. FYI. So you are playing to stereotype.