Would you move in without a ring?

[Anonymous]

Yes. If you find out you aren’t compatible on that level it’s much better to find out before an engagement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If marriage is so archaic then why gas and lesbians were fighting so hard for it?

Legal rights plus it is tied into society legitimacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We have discussed timelines and wants throughout our entire relationship. We became pretty serious at 6 months and he brought up marriage. He said I love you for the first time and told me he was in love with me. At 1 year, he brought up marriage again. He told me flat out that he wants to marry me and build a life together and needed to know I was on the same page. We discussed moving in together this month. We both own our own condos and I will be moving in to his. My plan is to rent it out mine until I feel it’s right to sell. I do think a ring is in the near future. When discussing engagement, he said that it will happen when it happens and that moving in together and seeing how we cohabit is the next best step.

This is total BS. You have a timeline of kids by 35 and he has a timeline of “ENGAGEMENT will happen when it happens”. You are not on the same page at all. Bringing up marriage and telling you he wants to marry you is not a timeline. You “thinking” a ring will come in the “near future” is not a timeline. Be for real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sauron did and had a very successful run.

I’m pretty sure Sauron had a ring. At least initially

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So everybody wants a ring before they are sure they can live with someone. Hmm.

A lifetime together will present MUCH bigger challenges than just figuring out how to coexist in the same space 24/7 for a few months. Living together before marriage tells you very little about whether the marriage will survive, or even how compatible you are.

so, people are still living together and the advice here is to get a ring before you are sure you want to get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So everybody wants a ring before they are sure they can live with someone. Hmm.

A lifetime together will present MUCH bigger challenges than just figuring out how to coexist in the same space 24/7 for a few months. Living together before marriage tells you very little about whether the marriage will survive, or even how compatible you are.

Actually it tells you a whole lot more than you can learn any other way. Without living with each other, you are pretty much bidding on an unopened suitcase without knowing what sort of baggage is stuffed in there.

[Anonymous]

Why would anyone live with a man without a ring? I don’t understand. Your (and his) words mean literally nothing; all that counts is what you do. You are sleeping with, sharing expenses, and acting as a wife towards a man who acts towards you as a boyfriend. You are taking two steps forward (fiancé-wife) and he is saying “sure, you go ahead, I’ll be back here as your boyfriend”. Your behavior says that you are a discount woman, you provide all these services at the 1/3 (“girlfriend!”) the price.

[Anonymous]

Love and sex aren't the only aspects of life, temper, character and financial sensibility are as important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We have discussed timelines and wants throughout our entire relationship. We became pretty serious at 6 months and he brought up marriage. He said I love you for the first time and told me he was in love with me. At 1 year, he brought up marriage again. He told me flat out that he wants to marry me and build a life together and needed to know I was on the same page. We discussed moving in together this month. We both own our own condos and I will be moving in to his. My plan is to rent it out mine until I feel it’s right to sell. I do think a ring is in the near future. When discussing engagement, he said that it will happen when it happens and that moving in together and seeing how we cohabit is the next best step.

I think this is fine as long as you look at is as YOU auditioning HIM. I mean, you are 29. If this guy isn’t the one, you only have so long to figure that out, break up with him, and find a more compatible man. If you feel like living together will expedite that process and help you figure things out, then go for it.
Personally, I think you should just end it now. You can find someone who is excited to be with you and not doing this whole thing where he needs to make sure you are good enough for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone live with a man without a ring? I don’t understand. Your (and his) words mean literally nothing; all that counts is what you do. You are sleeping with, sharing expenses, and acting as a wife towards a man who acts towards you as a boyfriend. You are taking two steps forward (fiancé-wife) and he is saying “sure, you go ahead, I’ll be back here as your boyfriend”. Your behavior says that you are a discount woman, you provide all these services at the 1/3 (“girlfriend!”) the price.

If his word means nothing why would you marry him?

You should never marry a man if you don't trust his word. If you need to get the govt involved in your affairs you are doomed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We have discussed timelines and wants throughout our entire relationship. We became pretty serious at 6 months and he brought up marriage. He said I love you for the first time and told me he was in love with me. At 1 year, he brought up marriage again. He told me flat out that he wants to marry me and build a life together and needed to know I was on the same page. We discussed moving in together this month. We both own our own condos and I will be moving in to his. My plan is to rent it out mine until I feel it’s right to sell. I do think a ring is in the near future. When discussing engagement, he said that it will happen when it happens and that moving in together and seeing how we cohabit is the next best step.

That sounds promising! Good idea to keep your condo and rent it out, if things go south you always have that to rely on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone live with a man without a ring? I don’t understand. Your (and his) words mean literally nothing; all that counts is what you do. You are sleeping with, sharing expenses, and acting as a wife towards a man who acts towards you as a boyfriend. You are taking two steps forward (fiancé-wife) and he is saying “sure, you go ahead, I’ll be back here as your boyfriend”. Your behavior says that you are a discount woman, you provide all these services at the 1/3 (“girlfriend!”) the price.

A piece of jewelry means less than a promise of an ethical man or a woman. Engagements break all the time.

[Anonymous]

Have you told him you’re a little uneasy about moving in together before you’re engaged?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So everybody wants a ring before they are sure they can live with someone. Hmm.

A lifetime together will present MUCH bigger challenges than just figuring out how to coexist in the same space 24/7 for a few months. Living together before marriage tells you very little about whether the marriage will survive, or even how compatible you are.

Actually it tells you a whole lot more than you can learn any other way. Without living with each other, you are pretty much bidding on an unopened suitcase without knowing what sort of baggage is stuffed in there.

Not true at all, at least statistically. Divorce rate is far higher for couples who live together before getting married. You see it turns out that that "little piece of paper" does mean something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone live with a man without a ring? I don’t understand. Your (and his) words mean literally nothing; all that counts is what you do .

If his word means nothing why would you marry him?

You should never marry a man if you don't trust his word. .

This^