Would you move in without a ring?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in this predicament, and I’m wondering if it’s wise for me live in without a ring?

I mean, if you need a ring, get yourself a ring. I don't understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:depends...how long have you been together and how old are you? I would test drive the car before buying it. I personally wouldn't marry someone unless I lived with them first, as you will learn quickly if you are truly compatible in it for the long haul.

OP here. We have been together for almost 1.5 years. I’m 29 and he is 31. I’m excited to take these next steps in our relationship, but I’m like 10% hesitant because I’ve heard the stories of women moving in and it never resulting in marriage. I want a marriage and kids by the time I’m 35.

Does he know your timeline and what does he think?

[Anonymous]

Nope

[Anonymous]

I did not. We moved in together right after getting engaged.

[Anonymous]

No!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:depends...how long have you been together and how old are you? I would test drive the car before buying it. I personally wouldn't marry someone unless I lived with them first, as you will learn quickly if you are truly compatible in it for the long haul.

OP here. We have been together for almost 1.5 years. I’m 29 and he is 31. I’m excited to take these next steps in our relationship, but I’m like 10% hesitant because I’ve heard the stories of women moving in and it never resulting in marriage. I want a marriage and kids by the time I’m 35.

Then I would just have a plan to move out if you don’t get it by the appropriate time.

Tbh based on generational patterns very few millennial men will propose and then move in with a woman

Moving out is much more trouble than just not moving in.

OP, you're old enough to know after 1.5 years whether you see marriage with this guy. Given that you do have a timeline in mind, I'd get engaged first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:depends...how long have you been together and how old are you? I would test drive the car before buying it. I personally wouldn't marry someone unless I lived with them first, as you will learn quickly if you are truly compatible in it for the long haul.

OP here. We have been together for almost 1.5 years. I’m 29 and he is 31. I’m excited to take these next steps in our relationship, but I’m like 10% hesitant because I’ve heard the stories of women moving in and it never resulting in marriage. I want a marriage and kids by the time I’m 35.

Are you the girlfriend of the OP "Do women expect a ring at 1 year?
Did he ask you to move in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:depends...how long have you been together and how old are you? I would test drive the car before buying it. I personally wouldn't marry someone unless I lived with them first, as you will learn quickly if you are truly compatible in it for the long haul.

OP here. We have been together for almost 1.5 years. I’m 29 and he is 31. I’m excited to take these next steps in our relationship, but I’m like 10% hesitant because I’ve heard the stories of women moving in and it never resulting in marriage. I want a marriage and kids by the time I’m 35.

Then I would just have a plan to move out if you don’t get it by the appropriate time.

Tbh based on generational patterns very few millennial men will propose and then move in with a woman

Moving out is much more trouble than just not moving in.

OP, you're old enough to know after 1.5 years whether you see marriage with this guy. Given that you do have a timeline in mind, I'd get engaged first.

Yeah, I was super young when we moved in together, so I felt fine with it. However, in your case you should be 100% on the same page about marriage timing (and whether it is happening). If you aren't, don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Have you discussed your want for marriage/kids by 35?

I am very pro living together first, BUT you must have had communication about these topics before. You can't assume that he sees moving in as the next step towards that. So make sure you are on the same page before you do so.

[Anonymous]

Did it once, learned my lesson. (But I didn't want an actual ring ever, just needed to make explicit what my expectations were.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in this predicament, and I’m wondering if it’s wise for me live in without a ring?

No. Be upfront.

[Anonymous]

I did, but I kept my condo in case I needed to move out. I rented it after 6 months, we got engaged one year later. I think it's traditional to NOT move in without a ring. I need to live with the man before I'm willing to agree to marriage.

[Anonymous]

Marrying anyone without living with them for a year isn't a wise move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:depends...how long have you been together and how old are you? I would test drive the car before buying it. I personally wouldn't marry someone unless I lived with them first, as you will learn quickly if you are truly compatible in it for the long haul.

OP here. We have been together for almost 1.5 years. I’m 29 and he is 31. I’m excited to take these next steps in our relationship, but I’m like 10% hesitant because I’ve heard the stories of women moving in and it never resulting in marriage. I want a marriage and kids by the time I’m 35.

Does he know that for you this next step is towards marriage and children in that timeframe?

Do you view this as a "trial" for that? Does he?

[Anonymous]

I never got a "ring." We got married 6 months after we moved in to a new apartment and 14 months after we met, spent our money on a honeymoon. Married 42 years.