Would you move in without a ring?

[Anonymous]

No

Only to suss out mental disorders. Never to put on wifey show test to win a ring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:depends...how long have you been together and how old are you? I would test drive the car before buying it. I personally wouldn't marry someone unless I lived with them first, as you will learn quickly if you are truly compatible in it for the long haul.

OP here. We have been together for almost 1.5 years. I’m 29 and he is 31. I’m excited to take these next steps in our relationship, but I’m like 10% hesitant because I’ve heard the stories of women moving in and it never resulting in marriage. I want a marriage and kids by the time I’m 35.

You've answered your own question.

This is not the "next step in your relationship." This is a way to delay what you want, for his timetable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No

Only to suss out mental disorders. Never to put on wifey show test to win a ring.

+1. Why buy the cow when the milk is free?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:depends...how long have you been together and how old are you? I would test drive the car before buying it. I personally wouldn't marry someone unless I lived with them first, as you will learn quickly if you are truly compatible in it for the long haul.

OP here. We have been together for almost 1.5 years. I’m 29 and he is 31. I’m excited to take these next steps in our relationship, but I’m like 10% hesitant because I’ve heard the stories of women moving in and it never resulting in marriage. I want a marriage and kids by the time I’m 35.

You need to have conversations about it. You need to make your expectations clear and he needs to make his expectations and desires clear too. Make sure you have a few conversations about it and are explicit before you move in.

[Anonymous]

Religiously: Get married first.

Socially: Get engaged first.

Logically: Do what works for y'all but discuss what's holding y'all back? If you want to live together for a year first to unsure compatibility, it makes sense.

[Anonymous]

*ensure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:depends...how long have you been together and how old are you? I would test drive the car before buying it. I personally wouldn't marry someone unless I lived with them first, as you will learn quickly if you are truly compatible in it for the long haul.

OP here. We have been together for almost 1.5 years. I’m 29 and he is 31. I’m excited to take these next steps in our relationship, but I’m like 10% hesitant because I’ve heard the stories of women moving in and it never resulting in marriage. I want a marriage and kids by the time I’m 35.

I moved in before we were engaged technically. But we'd discussed that we both saw the relationship heading towards marriage. We were not living together as a trial run. I made it clear I was moving in without any intent of ever moving out. If your boyfriend would freak out if you told him that, DO NOT MOVE IN TOGETHER.

Inertia is powerful. Many many people stay in terrible relationships because they are already living with their partners. It is very hard to move out once you've moved in. Not impossible, but hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in this predicament, and I’m wondering if it’s wise for me live in without a ring?

I did it when I was 24 and I regret it. We got stuck. Lived in limbo for 5 years and then broke up.

Next boyfriend, he asked and I said I would never move in unless we were engaged. Engaged within 1.5 years of dating. Happy marriage 15 years strong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in this predicament, and I’m wondering if it’s wise for me live in without a ring?

You shouldn't live with and have relations with a man who isn't your husband. That's a sin and you will go to Hell.

[Anonymous]

God no. Have some self respect op.

[Anonymous]

I would want to live with a potential spouse. We moved in together, and I just figured if it went well, we would end up getting married. We got engaged a year later.

I would make sure you communicate that you'd like it to be a step in that direction.

[Anonymous]

Don’t insist on an engagement ring. It’s so silly. Insist on a real plan to get married instead. That’s what matters. I’ve been happily married almost 5 years with no ring. They are a waste of money. They literally do not appreciate well, go out of style quickly, and many women stop wearing them shortly after their marriage starts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No

Only to suss out mental disorders. Never to put on wifey show test to win a ring.

+1. Why buy the cow when the milk is free?

So if she charged for the milk than she is a smart cow?

What a stupid saying. It needs to cease existing!

[Anonymous]

So everybody wants a ring before they are sure they can live with someone. Hmm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You may find after you live together, you don’t want the ring. I think it’s helpful to live together before you get married.

+1

- lived with someone for 19 years, married to them for 17 and counting