Kicked out of every activity and summer camp we’ve ever tried

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To answer your question, yes, he should spend the summer with your nanny, therapist, respite worker, and you and your spouse. He isn't ready/able to handle group care settings yet. Save yourself and everyone else the hassle.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Medication? A little boy in my child's K class had to start meds because he was just entirely out of control. It's on the early side, but in rare cases, some patients do actually need medication.

I wouldn't medicate for summer camps, mind you. But if he's like this now, he'll be a holy terror in school. He needs medication for school. Most ADHD simulants are habit-forming, so he needs medication breaks regularly (on weekends and holidays). My son was medicated from 5th to 12th grade and now in college doesn't need regular meds anymore.

Camp has way more transitions and unstructured time than schools. Meds are essential at camp.

She doesn't want to head about meds. Don't bother.

Op here. Read the effing thread. My kid has been medicated since he was 3, on stimulants since 4. We’ve been on 10 different psych meds at various doses. We see a child psychiatrist monthly. I’m not interested in discussing meds because I am already having those discussions with my son’s medical team. I do not need that kind of input here. He’s currently on 3 different psychiatric meds, and he’s 5 years old.

If you want him to succeed in any activity, you will probably need private lessons. I think gymnastics could be great. If you live in the right area, mountain biking, and skiing are fantastic, as hyperactive kids are often adrenaline junkies. Besides gymnastics and skiing, activities that work well for hyperactive ADHD kids that can be learned through private lessons include tennis, swimming, golf, and squash. I'm sure there are more. Personally, I'd start with gymnastics and swimming. Gymnastics builds an athletic foundation and swimming is a necessary life skill if nothing else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he on medication?

Op here. Yes. And we’ve done evaluations and we have an army of doctors. We have a diagnosis. We know the cause.

If possible, I would greatly appreciate if we could stick to the question I am asking, which is NOT-how do I prevent this from happening or why is this happening. Because I have already done ALL THE THINGS-promise I am not looking for comprehensive feedback on our medical and therapy regime. I assure you I have left no stone unturned. Just asking specifically about experiences with SN kids and activities/summer camps.

It is happening due to the hyperactivity. The only treatment for ADHD/hyperactivity is medication. No need to be touchy about it. We all have kids with issues in this forum. The medication he is on is not working if his hyperactivity is not managed to this degree.

The only other suggestion I have is camps that are sports/running heavy. So soccer, swimming, etc. But even then if his inattention is preventing him from following directions, I'm not sure it would work.

Op here. I put my 4 year old on stimulants. I’m aware he’s hyperactive. I am not looking for explanations. I know my kid.

If you look at my OP, I had a specific question which is:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

Your question is about you feeling sorry for yourself at the moment and not actually looking for solutions. I get it. I have a kid on the spectrum who also has ADHD and ticks. I get it. It took me a long come to come to terms with some things.

But I am telling you as a mother to a 16 year old that the medication is not working and it could fix a lot of the issues.

Op here. Just go away. You’re not helping. We literally have a child psychiatrist who we see every month. You honestly think you can do better on an anonymous board than what our psychiatrist who is an MD and has actually seen our child for years can? Did you see the part where I said we put our 4 year old on stimulants? Do you think that happens by just waltzing into a pediatrician appointment? It took tenacity and follow up and advocacy and specialists and doctor shopping to get a 4 year old on stimulants, mmmkay?

OP don't engage with that poster. It's not worth it.
I did want to raise a question about whether you are prepared for your child having issues in kindergarten and what your back up plan is. I know your whole post is about trying to socialize him so he's prepared for K and you do have three months to do it but what if he does not mature? I just want to make sure you are psychologically prepared and logistically prepared. We were not and it was a shock.

My goodness. I'm that poster. I said nothing remotely offensive. How is it NOT helpful to hear from a parent of an older child with ADHD that meds have to be adjusted sometimes? I know what it feels like to feel hopeless. Ive been there and I wasn't trying to offend anyone.

NP. I didn't read your post as offensive at all. The OP asked whether to give up. You said if you have to give up, it means there's something wrong with his current meds. That seems correct to me. If your kid has been medicated for 2-3 years and on stimulants for 1-2 years, it means something with the current regime isn't working if he can't get a single activity to stick. Give up on activities for now and focus on tweaking the medication +/- other coping and mitigation measures, because K is quickly going to end up with him in a self-contained classroom if no activity can keep him in check for even an hour.

All this, +1.

But unfortunately OP isn't interested in understanding that the question of whether to "give up" or not intrinsically involves taking a hard look at the medical protocol that clearly isn't working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he on medication?

Op here. Yes. And we’ve done evaluations and we have an army of doctors. We have a diagnosis. We know the cause.

If possible, I would greatly appreciate if we could stick to the question I am asking, which is NOT-how do I prevent this from happening or why is this happening. Because I have already done ALL THE THINGS-promise I am not looking for comprehensive feedback on our medical and therapy regime. I assure you I have left no stone unturned. Just asking specifically about experiences with SN kids and activities/summer camps.

It is happening due to the hyperactivity. The only treatment for ADHD/hyperactivity is medication. No need to be touchy about it. We all have kids with issues in this forum. The medication he is on is not working if his hyperactivity is not managed to this degree.

The only other suggestion I have is camps that are sports/running heavy. So soccer, swimming, etc. But even then if his inattention is preventing him from following directions, I'm not sure it would work.

Op here. I put my 4 year old on stimulants. I’m aware he’s hyperactive. I am not looking for explanations. I know my kid.

If you look at my OP, I had a specific question which is:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

I don't have a dog in this fight and I hear what you are trying to focus on OP
at the same time,
I would suggest OP that the reason people are asking these is that it's hard to know when to accept something if you don't know when/why you should bail.your question is too abstract
but if you have truly turned over every rock then you don't have a choice, do you?

[Anonymous]

My kid with epilepsy was exactly like this because he was constantly having brain spikes. We had to try many different seizure med combos and a stimulant/clonidine combo. He’s doing great at 12. At this age we couldn’t go to a coffee shop. Let alone a camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he on medication?

Op here. Yes. And we’ve done evaluations and we have an army of doctors. We have a diagnosis. We know the cause.

If possible, I would greatly appreciate if we could stick to the question I am asking, which is NOT-how do I prevent this from happening or why is this happening. Because I have already done ALL THE THINGS-promise I am not looking for comprehensive feedback on our medical and therapy regime. I assure you I have left no stone unturned. Just asking specifically about experiences with SN kids and activities/summer camps.

It is happening due to the hyperactivity. The only treatment for ADHD/hyperactivity is medication. No need to be touchy about it. We all have kids with issues in this forum. The medication he is on is not working if his hyperactivity is not managed to this degree.

The only other suggestion I have is camps that are sports/running heavy. So soccer, swimming, etc. But even then if his inattention is preventing him from following directions, I'm not sure it would work.

Op here. I put my 4 year old on stimulants. I’m aware he’s hyperactive. I am not looking for explanations. I know my kid.

If you look at my OP, I had a specific question which is:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

Now.

[Anonymous]

I would only consider activities that can provide a dedicated 1:1 for the entire time he is at the activity and it needs to be the same 1:1 each day. There also needs to be a dedicated area for the 1:1 to take your child to when he needs to be removed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would only consider activities that can provide a dedicated 1:1 for the entire time he is at the activity and it needs to be the same 1:1 each day. There also needs to be a dedicated area for the 1:1 to take your child to when he needs to be removed.

The JCC has this for their camps. There may be one in your area OP.

[Anonymous]

I think you take a break from the typical camp situation and rethink this. Try and reset the narrative cause getting asked to leave camp is not amazing for anyone’s mental state. Group activities should probably not be hours long. It may be too much.

My child is a teen now but with (differing) challenges at that age we didn’t do camps other than therapeutic types.

Same child is now a camp counselor. Last year they had a child that attended that had significant needs and none of that was disclosed to the adults running the camp. I guess the fear was they’d be turned away. Instead the result was the camp was wholly unready to provide accommodations (like assigning a singular counselor to the child). I’m not saying that’s what is occurring here, but food for thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he on medication?

Op here. Yes. And we’ve done evaluations and we have an army of doctors. We have a diagnosis. We know the cause.

If possible, I would greatly appreciate if we could stick to the question I am asking, which is NOT-how do I prevent this from happening or why is this happening. Because I have already done ALL THE THINGS-promise I am not looking for comprehensive feedback on our medical and therapy regime. I assure you I have left no stone unturned. Just asking specifically about experiences with SN kids and activities/summer camps.

It is happening due to the hyperactivity. The only treatment for ADHD/hyperactivity is medication. No need to be touchy about it. We all have kids with issues in this forum. The medication he is on is not working if his hyperactivity is not managed to this degree.

The only other suggestion I have is camps that are sports/running heavy. So soccer, swimming, etc. But even then if his inattention is preventing him from following directions, I'm not sure it would work.

Op here. I put my 4 year old on stimulants. I’m aware he’s hyperactive. I am not looking for explanations. I know my kid.

If you look at my OP, I had a specific question which is:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

Your question is about you feeling sorry for yourself at the moment and not actually looking for solutions. I get it. I have a kid on the spectrum who also has ADHD and ticks. I get it. It took me a long come to come to terms with some things.

But I am telling you as a mother to a 16 year old that the medication is not working and it could fix a lot of the issues.

Op here. Just go away. You’re not helping. We literally have a child psychiatrist who we see every month. You honestly think you can do better on an anonymous board than what our psychiatrist who is an MD and has actually seen our child for years can? Did you see the part where I said we put our 4 year old on stimulants? Do you think that happens by just waltzing into a pediatrician appointment? It took tenacity and follow up and advocacy and specialists and doctor shopping to get a 4 year old on stimulants, mmmkay?

You can be offended all you want, but I'm telling you as someone who has a lot more experience dealing with this than you do that whatever the psychiatrist put him on is not working. Good luck.

Op here. What is it that you imagine occurs in our monthly visits to our child psychiatrist? Do you think I just fail to mention the struggles? Do you think we have only ever tried one medication and never ever changed the dosage/timing/etc? Do you think these appointments are for recreation or chit chat? WE HAVE TRIED NO FEWER THAN 10 DIFFERENT PSYCHIATRIC MEDICATIONS ON OUR 5 YEAR OLD AT VARIOUS DOSES. Why do you think you know more than I do, when I have had the tenacity and wherewithal to get my 4 year old ok stimulants? How many people have you ever met that have done that? Doctors do not like to diagnose ADHD at 4, let alone prescribe STIMULANTS for it at that age. And yet, I managed to get my son on them on his 4th birthday.

But sure, by all means, tell me more about how I’m in denial and need to try a new medication. Wow, amazing, I’ll have to show your post to our psychiatrist! Because it never occurred to any of us to try a different medication or dose or time of day or…..

It's amazing to me that you came here and asked for advice considering you already know it all. So sorry to offend you by sharing my personal experience. GOOD LUCK.

Op here. I had a specific question, which I’ll share here for the 3rd time:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

I prefer to work with the MDs who actually see my child rather than getting medical advice from an anonymous forum.

NP. Who has a AuADHD teen and is a teacher. You are making it really hard to have compassion for you. I can sense your frustration. You came here to ask questions. I haven’t read one post where someone wasn’t trying to help/be a jerk - which is rare on DCUM. You should just delete your thread. And yes, you have permission to just give up. Recharge your batteries. Also, be aware that you are going to encounter a lot of problems come fall. You should reach out to the school system now and try to get a 1:1 aide. Also consider not every doctor has the same skill. Get a second opinion about what the psychiatrist is doing. Or don’t.

[Anonymous]

The activities aren’t important. They’re only for fun, and they aren’t fun for him or you, so stop.

Also, there was a comment upthread about self-contained classrooms, implying they are a bad outcome. Self-contained classrooms can be great. It is great to have your child in a place that meets his needs. It is a relief for everyone, including the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he on medication?

Op here. Yes. And we’ve done evaluations and we have an army of doctors. We have a diagnosis. We know the cause.

If possible, I would greatly appreciate if we could stick to the question I am asking, which is NOT-how do I prevent this from happening or why is this happening. Because I have already done ALL THE THINGS-promise I am not looking for comprehensive feedback on our medical and therapy regime. I assure you I have left no stone unturned. Just asking specifically about experiences with SN kids and activities/summer camps.

It is happening due to the hyperactivity. The only treatment for ADHD/hyperactivity is medication. No need to be touchy about it. We all have kids with issues in this forum. The medication he is on is not working if his hyperactivity is not managed to this degree.

The only other suggestion I have is camps that are sports/running heavy. So soccer, swimming, etc. But even then if his inattention is preventing him from following directions, I'm not sure it would work.

Op here. I put my 4 year old on stimulants. I’m aware he’s hyperactive. I am not looking for explanations. I know my kid.

If you look at my OP, I had a specific question which is:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

Your question is about you feeling sorry for yourself at the moment and not actually looking for solutions. I get it. I have a kid on the spectrum who also has ADHD and ticks. I get it. It took me a long come to come to terms with some things.

But I am telling you as a mother to a 16 year old that the medication is not working and it could fix a lot of the issues.

Op here. Just go away. You’re not helping. We literally have a child psychiatrist who we see every month. You honestly think you can do better on an anonymous board than what our psychiatrist who is an MD and has actually seen our child for years can? Did you see the part where I said we put our 4 year old on stimulants? Do you think that happens by just waltzing into a pediatrician appointment? It took tenacity and follow up and advocacy and specialists and doctor shopping to get a 4 year old on stimulants, mmmkay?

I mean, what did you expect posting this here? Honestly. The advice you get here is usually worth about what you paid for it. NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he on medication?

Op here. Yes. And we’ve done evaluations and we have an army of doctors. We have a diagnosis. We know the cause.

If possible, I would greatly appreciate if we could stick to the question I am asking, which is NOT-how do I prevent this from happening or why is this happening. Because I have already done ALL THE THINGS-promise I am not looking for comprehensive feedback on our medical and therapy regime. I assure you I have left no stone unturned. Just asking specifically about experiences with SN kids and activities/summer camps.

It is happening due to the hyperactivity. The only treatment for ADHD/hyperactivity is medication. No need to be touchy about it. We all have kids with issues in this forum. The medication he is on is not working if his hyperactivity is not managed to this degree.

The only other suggestion I have is camps that are sports/running heavy. So soccer, swimming, etc. But even then if his inattention is preventing him from following directions, I'm not sure it would work.

If you look at my OP, I had a specific question which is:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

I would never decide to "stop trying" for our kid. However, it seems you equate "trying" with signing him up for activities and camps.

"Trying" involves a lot more than that. He's not able to handle the group activities now, so yeah, I'd skip the camps and group activities, but I won't "stop trying." For me, trying would involve (1) activities that either I or a trained caregiver would carefully curate and oversee at home or small settings, and (2) completely reexamining his medical protocol (but I know you don't want to hear about that).

[Anonymous]

Op I do think maybe right now you should spend your resources on thinking about k and school. Kids like this - I have one - can’t be mainstreamed because of their support needs. Your kid needs 1:1 support right now. Regular public school can’t do that. They are unlikely to give him an aide. If you don’t have a self contained placement you should get one. Inclusion is overrated for kids like this. His support needs are unlikely to be entirely different in a few months but they will change. This initial placement does not dictate his school career. Anyway, having BTDT I would get your ducks in a row for the fall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The activities aren’t important. They’re only for fun, and they aren’t fun for him or you, so stop.

Also, there was a comment upthread about self-contained classrooms, implying they are a bad outcome. Self-contained classrooms can be great. It is great to have your child in a place that meets his needs. It is a relief for everyone, including the child.

THIS. Inclusion is so overstated for very impacted children.