Kicked out of every activity and summer camp we’ve ever tried

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he on medication?

Op here. Yes. And we’ve done evaluations and we have an army of doctors. We have a diagnosis. We know the cause.

If possible, I would greatly appreciate if we could stick to the question I am asking, which is NOT-how do I prevent this from happening or why is this happening. Because I have already done ALL THE THINGS-promise I am not looking for comprehensive feedback on our medical and therapy regime. I assure you I have left no stone unturned. Just asking specifically about experiences with SN kids and activities/summer camps.

It is happening due to the hyperactivity. The only treatment for ADHD/hyperactivity is medication. No need to be touchy about it. We all have kids with issues in this forum. The medication he is on is not working if his hyperactivity is not managed to this degree.

The only other suggestion I have is camps that are sports/running heavy. So soccer, swimming, etc. But even then if his inattention is preventing him from following directions, I'm not sure it would work.

Op here. I put my 4 year old on stimulants. I’m aware he’s hyperactive. I am not looking for explanations. I know my kid.

If you look at my OP, I had a specific question which is:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

Your question is about you feeling sorry for yourself at the moment and not actually looking for solutions. I get it. I have a kid on the spectrum who also has ADHD and ticks. I get it. It took me a long come to come to terms with some things.

But I am telling you as a mother to a 16 year old that the medication is not working and it could fix a lot of the issues.

Op here. Just go away. You’re not helping. We literally have a child psychiatrist who we see every month. You honestly think you can do better on an anonymous board than what our psychiatrist who is an MD and has actually seen our child for years can? Did you see the part where I said we put our 4 year old on stimulants? Do you think that happens by just waltzing into a pediatrician appointment? It took tenacity and follow up and advocacy and specialists and doctor shopping to get a 4 year old on stimulants, mmmkay?

OP don't engage with that poster. It's not worth it.
I did want to raise a question about whether you are prepared for your child having issues in kindergarten and what your back up plan is. I know your whole post is about trying to socialize him so he's prepared for K and you do have three months to do it but what if he does not mature? I just want to make sure you are psychologically prepared and logistically prepared. We were not and it was a shock.

My goodness. I'm that poster. I said nothing remotely offensive. How is it NOT helpful to hear from a parent of an older child with ADHD that meds have to be adjusted sometimes? I know what it feels like to feel hopeless. Ive been there and I wasn't trying to offend anyone.

NP. I didn't read your post as offensive at all. The OP asked whether to give up. You said if you have to give up, it means there's something wrong with his current meds. That seems correct to me. If your kid has been medicated for 2-3 years and on stimulants for 1-2 years, it means something with the current regime isn't working if he can't get a single activity to stick. Give up on activities for now and focus on tweaking the medication +/- other coping and mitigation measures, because K is quickly going to end up with him in a self-contained classroom if no activity can keep him in check for even an hour.

Thank you! That's all I was trying to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s no reason any kid under 6 needs any of the experiences you’re describing. Don’t feel an ounce of guilt about a summer (or school year) without them. Try again around 10, or when you feel it’s time. Set them up for success. I think of myself as manager of self esteem. School and life is hard enough for them so I concentrate on doing things that make my kids feel successful. That’s not summer camp

+1

[Anonymous]

Op, it’s okay to wait. It’s fine. Maybe right now try to do one activity a week like an adaptive story time.

My kid with hyperactivity like this needed a stim and a blood pressure med. meds were not effective until later. But stop forcing him and you right now into situations he can’t handle. It’s okay if he’s not ready until later. Delayed kids still develop.

[Anonymous]

My son has adhd (and possibly on the spectrum.) his biggest issue is emotional regulation, but for a peer whose biggest issue is hyperactivity, he needed a 1:1 counselor at camp.

My son had a 1:1 counselor last summer when he was 4, before he was diagnosed and medicated. It was the only way for him to be in camp. We’ll see if he does better this summer, but I would see what extra support you could pay for privately to keep your child in camp.

We are also sending my child to a camp that has more support for ND kids. There is an occupational therapist on staff, and every age group has a head counselor in addition to a low counselor to camper ratio. If there is an issue, we will be notified quickly and will be able to problem solve with the camp.

The next step as others have mentioned, are camps specifically for ND kids. These often involve longer commutes but they can accommodate a full range of needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he on medication?

Op here. Yes. And we’ve done evaluations and we have an army of doctors. We have a diagnosis. We know the cause.

If possible, I would greatly appreciate if we could stick to the question I am asking, which is NOT-how do I prevent this from happening or why is this happening. Because I have already done ALL THE THINGS-promise I am not looking for comprehensive feedback on our medical and therapy regime. I assure you I have left no stone unturned. Just asking specifically about experiences with SN kids and activities/summer camps.

It is happening due to the hyperactivity. The only treatment for ADHD/hyperactivity is medication. No need to be touchy about it. We all have kids with issues in this forum. The medication he is on is not working if his hyperactivity is not managed to this degree.

The only other suggestion I have is camps that are sports/running heavy. So soccer, swimming, etc. But even then if his inattention is preventing him from following directions, I'm not sure it would work.

Op here. I put my 4 year old on stimulants. I’m aware he’s hyperactive. I am not looking for explanations. I know my kid.

If you look at my OP, I had a specific question which is:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

Your question is about you feeling sorry for yourself at the moment and not actually looking for solutions. I get it. I have a kid on the spectrum who also has ADHD and ticks. I get it. It took me a long come to come to terms with some things.

But I am telling you as a mother to a 16 year old that the medication is not working and it could fix a lot of the issues.

Op here. Just go away. You’re not helping. We literally have a child psychiatrist who we see every month. You honestly think you can do better on an anonymous board than what our psychiatrist who is an MD and has actually seen our child for years can? Did you see the part where I said we put our 4 year old on stimulants? Do you think that happens by just waltzing into a pediatrician appointment? It took tenacity and follow up and advocacy and specialists and doctor shopping to get a 4 year old on stimulants, mmmkay?

You can be offended all you want, but I'm telling you as someone who has a lot more experience dealing with this than you do that whatever the psychiatrist put him on is not working. Good luck.

Op here. What is it that you imagine occurs in our monthly visits to our child psychiatrist? Do you think I just fail to mention the struggles? Do you think we have only ever tried one medication and never ever changed the dosage/timing/etc? Do you think these appointments are for recreation or chit chat? WE HAVE TRIED NO FEWER THAN 10 DIFFERENT PSYCHIATRIC MEDICATIONS ON OUR 5 YEAR OLD AT VARIOUS DOSES. Why do you think you know more than I do, when I have had the tenacity and wherewithal to get my 4 year old ok stimulants? How many people have you ever met that have done that? Doctors do not like to diagnose ADHD at 4, let alone prescribe STIMULANTS for it at that age. And yet, I managed to get my son on them on his 4th birthday.

But sure, by all means, tell me more about how I’m in denial and need to try a new medication. Wow, amazing, I’ll have to show your post to our psychiatrist! Because it never occurred to any of us to try a different medication or dose or time of day or…..

It's amazing to me that you came here and asked for advice considering you already know it all. So sorry to offend you by sharing my personal experience. GOOD LUCK.

Op here. I had a specific question, which I’ll share here for the 3rd time:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

I prefer to work with the MDs who actually see my child rather than getting medical advice from an anonymous forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Medication? A little boy in my child's K class had to start meds because he was just entirely out of control. It's on the early side, but in rare cases, some patients do actually need medication.

I wouldn't medicate for summer camps, mind you. But if he's like this now, he'll be a holy terror in school. He needs medication for school. Most ADHD simulants are habit-forming, so he needs medication breaks regularly (on weekends and holidays). My son was medicated from 5th to 12th grade and now in college doesn't need regular meds anymore.

Camp has way more transitions and unstructured time than schools. Meds are essential at camp.

[Anonymous]

You stop trying now OP. There really isn't a point if nothing is working and will only make him feel worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he on medication?

Op here. Yes. And we’ve done evaluations and we have an army of doctors. We have a diagnosis. We know the cause.

If possible, I would greatly appreciate if we could stick to the question I am asking, which is NOT-how do I prevent this from happening or why is this happening. Because I have already done ALL THE THINGS-promise I am not looking for comprehensive feedback on our medical and therapy regime. I assure you I have left no stone unturned. Just asking specifically about experiences with SN kids and activities/summer camps.

It is happening due to the hyperactivity. The only treatment for ADHD/hyperactivity is medication. No need to be touchy about it. We all have kids with issues in this forum. The medication he is on is not working if his hyperactivity is not managed to this degree.

The only other suggestion I have is camps that are sports/running heavy. So soccer, swimming, etc. But even then if his inattention is preventing him from following directions, I'm not sure it would work.

Op here. I put my 4 year old on stimulants. I’m aware he’s hyperactive. I am not looking for explanations. I know my kid.

If you look at my OP, I had a specific question which is:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

Your question is about you feeling sorry for yourself at the moment and not actually looking for solutions. I get it. I have a kid on the spectrum who also has ADHD and ticks. I get it. It took me a long come to come to terms with some things.

But I am telling you as a mother to a 16 year old that the medication is not working and it could fix a lot of the issues.

Op here. Just go away. You’re not helping. We literally have a child psychiatrist who we see every month. You honestly think you can do better on an anonymous board than what our psychiatrist who is an MD and has actually seen our child for years can? Did you see the part where I said we put our 4 year old on stimulants? Do you think that happens by just waltzing into a pediatrician appointment? It took tenacity and follow up and advocacy and specialists and doctor shopping to get a 4 year old on stimulants, mmmkay?

You can be offended all you want, but I'm telling you as someone who has a lot more experience dealing with this than you do that whatever the psychiatrist put him on is not working. Good luck.

Op here. What is it that you imagine occurs in our monthly visits to our child psychiatrist? Do you think I just fail to mention the struggles? Do you think we have only ever tried one medication and never ever changed the dosage/timing/etc? Do you think these appointments are for recreation or chit chat? WE HAVE TRIED NO FEWER THAN 10 DIFFERENT PSYCHIATRIC MEDICATIONS ON OUR 5 YEAR OLD AT VARIOUS DOSES. Why do you think you know more than I do, when I have had the tenacity and wherewithal to get my 4 year old ok stimulants? How many people have you ever met that have done that? Doctors do not like to diagnose ADHD at 4, let alone prescribe STIMULANTS for it at that age. And yet, I managed to get my son on them on his 4th birthday.

But sure, by all means, tell me more about how I’m in denial and need to try a new medication. Wow, amazing, I’ll have to show your post to our psychiatrist! Because it never occurred to any of us to try a different medication or dose or time of day or…..

It's amazing to me that you came here and asked for advice considering you already know it all. So sorry to offend you by sharing my personal experience. GOOD LUCK.

Op here. I had a specific question, which I’ll share here for the 3rd time:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

I prefer to work with the MDs who actually see my child rather than getting medical advice from an anonymous forum.

I stopped trying at that age. We did a lot of therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Medication? A little boy in my child's K class had to start meds because he was just entirely out of control. It's on the early side, but in rare cases, some patients do actually need medication.

I wouldn't medicate for summer camps, mind you. But if he's like this now, he'll be a holy terror in school. He needs medication for school. Most ADHD simulants are habit-forming, so he needs medication breaks regularly (on weekends and holidays). My son was medicated from 5th to 12th grade and now in college doesn't need regular meds anymore.

Camp has way more transitions and unstructured time than schools. Meds are essential at camp.

She doesn't want to head about meds. Don't bother.

[Anonymous]

I've been there. Just forget enrolling for now. When older, my ADHD kid did we'll with private swim lessons. The teacher and he could focus and it seemed to relax him. Later he took up an instrument and that was a the best thing! I had no idea that would be his thing: band in HS too. You just have to experiment.

He went on meds at age 7. I homeschooled him in 2nd and 3rd grade because he needed one on one attention to learn. He learned nothing in K and very
little in 1st. Got an IEP that got him some one on one during the day.

Finally, you need to spend a lot if time repeating and reinforcing manners and things like spatial differences. He would get too close to people, that kind of thing. Also learning to not talk so loud, etc. You have to keep at it but they will get it, it just takes longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Medication? A little boy in my child's K class had to start meds because he was just entirely out of control. It's on the early side, but in rare cases, some patients do actually need medication.

I wouldn't medicate for summer camps, mind you. But if he's like this now, he'll be a holy terror in school. He needs medication for school. Most ADHD simulants are habit-forming, so he needs medication breaks regularly (on weekends and holidays). My son was medicated from 5th to 12th grade and now in college doesn't need regular meds anymore.

Camp has way more transitions and unstructured time than schools. Meds are essential at camp.

She doesn't want to head about meds. Don't bother.

Op here. Read the effing thread. My kid has been medicated since he was 3, on stimulants since 4. We’ve been on 10 different psych meds at various doses. We see a child psychiatrist monthly. I’m not interested in discussing meds because I am already having those discussions with my son’s medical team. I do not need that kind of input here. He’s currently on 3 different psychiatric meds, and he’s 5 years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been there. Just forget enrolling for now. When older, my ADHD kid did we'll with private swim lessons. The teacher and he could focus and it seemed to relax him. Later he took up an instrument and that was a the best thing! I had no idea that would be his thing: band in HS too. You just have to experiment.

He went on meds at age 7. I homeschooled him in 2nd and 3rd grade because he needed one on one attention to learn. He learned nothing in K and very
little in 1st. Got an IEP that got him some one on one during the day.

Finally, you need to spend a lot if time repeating and reinforcing manners and things like spatial differences. He would get too close to people, that kind of thing. Also learning to not talk so loud, etc. You have to keep at it but they will get it, it just takes longer.

+ 1 on spatial awareness. Mine has no concept of personal space, though we try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he on medication?

Op here. Yes. And we’ve done evaluations and we have an army of doctors. We have a diagnosis. We know the cause.

If possible, I would greatly appreciate if we could stick to the question I am asking, which is NOT-how do I prevent this from happening or why is this happening. Because I have already done ALL THE THINGS-promise I am not looking for comprehensive feedback on our medical and therapy regime. I assure you I have left no stone unturned. Just asking specifically about experiences with SN kids and activities/summer camps.

It is happening due to the hyperactivity. The only treatment for ADHD/hyperactivity is medication. No need to be touchy about it. We all have kids with issues in this forum. The medication he is on is not working if his hyperactivity is not managed to this degree.

The only other suggestion I have is camps that are sports/running heavy. So soccer, swimming, etc. But even then if his inattention is preventing him from following directions, I'm not sure it would work.

Op here. I put my 4 year old on stimulants. I’m aware he’s hyperactive. I am not looking for explanations. I know my kid.

If you look at my OP, I had a specific question which is:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

Your question is about you feeling sorry for yourself at the moment and not actually looking for solutions. I get it. I have a kid on the spectrum who also has ADHD and ticks. I get it. It took me a long come to come to terms with some things.

But I am telling you as a mother to a 16 year old that the medication is not working and it could fix a lot of the issues.

Op here. Just go away. You’re not helping. We literally have a child psychiatrist who we see every month. You honestly think you can do better on an anonymous board than what our psychiatrist who is an MD and has actually seen our child for years can? Did you see the part where I said we put our 4 year old on stimulants? Do you think that happens by just waltzing into a pediatrician appointment? It took tenacity and follow up and advocacy and specialists and doctor shopping to get a 4 year old on stimulants, mmmkay?

OP don't engage with that poster. It's not worth it.
I did want to raise a question about whether you are prepared for your child having issues in kindergarten and what your back up plan is. I know your whole post is about trying to socialize him so he's prepared for K and you do have three months to do it but what if he does not mature? I just want to make sure you are psychologically prepared and logistically prepared. We were not and it was a shock.

My goodness. I'm that poster. I said nothing remotely offensive. How is it NOT helpful to hear from a parent of an older child with ADHD that meds have to be adjusted sometimes? I know what it feels like to feel hopeless. Ive been there and I wasn't trying to offend anyone.

NP. I didn't read your post as offensive at all. The OP asked whether to give up. You said if you have to give up, it means there's something wrong with his current meds. That seems correct to me. If your kid has been medicated for 2-3 years and on stimulants for 1-2 years, it means something with the current regime isn't working if he can't get a single activity to stick. Give up on activities for now and focus on tweaking the medication +/- other coping and mitigation measures, because K is quickly going to end up with him in a self-contained classroom if no activity can keep him in check for even an hour.

I had the same reaction.

OP, I'm REALLY sorry for what you're dealing with and understand that you have invested a lot of time with a qualified psychiatrist. And that it's frustrating to be offered advice *different* than the question you asked.

But I'll also add that it took 11 medications until we finally found one that worked for our son. That was a lot of years, all working with a highly respected psychiatrist. DS didn't respond to any of the suggested medications for his condition, and quite surprisingly finally had a complete turnaround on a medication that is NOT typically used to treat his diagnosis. It has been LIFE CHANGING in the most amazing way. And I'm so glad we didn't give up. I understand your frustration, but if your kid is still so hyperactive that he can't function well in many group settings, I think it's advisable to stay open to the possibility that there might be another medical protocol out there that will help him.

[Anonymous]

To answer your question, yes, he should spend the summer with your nanny, therapist, respite worker, and you and your spouse. He isn't ready/able to handle group care settings yet. Save yourself and everyone else the hassle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Medication? A little boy in my child's K class had to start meds because he was just entirely out of control. It's on the early side, but in rare cases, some patients do actually need medication.

I wouldn't medicate for summer camps, mind you. But if he's like this now, he'll be a holy terror in school. He needs medication for school. Most ADHD simulants are habit-forming, so he needs medication breaks regularly (on weekends and holidays). My son was medicated from 5th to 12th grade and now in college doesn't need regular meds anymore.

Camp has way more transitions and unstructured time than schools. Meds are essential at camp.

She doesn't want to head about meds. Don't bother.

Op here. Read the effing thread. My kid has been medicated since he was 3, on stimulants since 4. We’ve been on 10 different psych meds at various doses. We see a child psychiatrist monthly. I’m not interested in discussing meds because I am already having those discussions with my son’s medical team. I do not need that kind of input here. He’s currently on 3 different psychiatric meds, and he’s 5 years old.

Oh my. Just because he's been on so many medications and for that many years doesn't mean he's on the *right* ones.

I understand you're angry and defensive, but I hope that later you can take time to reflect on that. For the BENEFIT of your son.