Kicked out of every activity and summer camp we’ve ever tried

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he on medication?

Op here. Yes. And we’ve done evaluations and we have an army of doctors. We have a diagnosis. We know the cause.

If possible, I would greatly appreciate if we could stick to the question I am asking, which is NOT-how do I prevent this from happening or why is this happening. Because I have already done ALL THE THINGS-promise I am not looking for comprehensive feedback on our medical and therapy regime. I assure you I have left no stone unturned. Just asking specifically about experiences with SN kids and activities/summer camps.

It is happening due to the hyperactivity. The only treatment for ADHD/hyperactivity is medication. No need to be touchy about it. We all have kids with issues in this forum. The medication he is on is not working if his hyperactivity is not managed to this degree.

The only other suggestion I have is camps that are sports/running heavy. So soccer, swimming, etc. But even then if his inattention is preventing him from following directions, I'm not sure it would work.

Op here. I put my 4 year old on stimulants. I’m aware he’s hyperactive. I am not looking for explanations. I know my kid.

If you look at my OP, I had a specific question which is:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

Your question is about you feeling sorry for yourself at the moment and not actually looking for solutions. I get it. I have a kid on the spectrum who also has ADHD and ticks. I get it. It took me a long come to come to terms with some things.

But I am telling you as a mother to a 16 year old that the medication is not working and it could fix a lot of the issues.

Op here. Just go away. You’re not helping. We literally have a child psychiatrist who we see every month. You honestly think you can do better on an anonymous board than what our psychiatrist who is an MD and has actually seen our child for years can? Did you see the part where I said we put our 4 year old on stimulants? Do you think that happens by just waltzing into a pediatrician appointment? It took tenacity and follow up and advocacy and specialists and doctor shopping to get a 4 year old on stimulants, mmmkay?

OP don't engage with that poster. It's not worth it.
I did want to raise a question about whether you are prepared for your child having issues in kindergarten and what your back up plan is. I know your whole post is about trying to socialize him so he's prepared for K and you do have three months to do it but what if he does not mature? I just want to make sure you are psychologically prepared and logistically prepared. We were not and it was a shock.

[Anonymous]

Try Steve & Kates with a 1:1.

[Anonymous]

There’s no reason any kid under 6 needs any of the experiences you’re describing. Don’t feel an ounce of guilt about a summer (or school year) without them. Try again around 10, or when you feel it’s time. Set them up for success. I think of myself as manager of self esteem. School and life is hard enough for them so I concentrate on doing things that make my kids feel successful. That’s not summer camp

[Anonymous]

Keep signing him up for activities and supplement with private lessons. DC has a similar profile to your child and has been successful with ice hockey. We've done a significant amount of private skating and skills lessons over the years. He makes good teams because he's strong, fast, athletic, and skilled, but he struggles with all the other stuff, like spatial awareness, game IQ, and being "coachable" (in a team setting). It doesn't have to be hockey, but whatever team sport you choose, I highly recommend supplementing with privates. Kids like ours struggle to learn in group settings and they struggle with team concepts. Our approach has been to be the fastest and most skilled player on the team to compensate for weaknesses that are just plain hard for them to overcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Camps, adaptive theater, parkour, martial arts, soccer, speech therapy camp, Montessori preschool, SN playgroup, etc.

So, the bolded are all understandable because they are a terrible fit (sorry) for a kid whose main challenge is extreme hyperactivity. Montessori preschool includes long stretches of solo "works" that require attention and sitting still.

Even martial arts includes a lot of sitting, listening, watching others, and waiting your turn.

I'd be curious to hear what went wrong with soccer and parkour, however, because my suggestion was going to be something where the social skills were a side-benefit to just being absolutely physically wrung out every day.

Soccer at that age is a lot of drills. Parkour involves a lot of waiting around for other kids to do the course and a lot of safety lectures and redirection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't stop trying. You take some time off, let him mature, and then try again when he's 7-8. It's not appropriate for where he is right now.

This. Stop the activities/camps for now because, as you said OP, they're not working for him. He's young still and he doesn't *need* these things. Take time off as PP said, try again in a year or two or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Would running or cross country help? (((Hugs)))

[Anonymous]

Our elementary school had a jump rope club a few days a week before school. The teacher knew our struggles and was compassionate. It was AWESOME for my ADHD kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he on medication?

Op here. Yes. And we’ve done evaluations and we have an army of doctors. We have a diagnosis. We know the cause.

If possible, I would greatly appreciate if we could stick to the question I am asking, which is NOT-how do I prevent this from happening or why is this happening. Because I have already done ALL THE THINGS-promise I am not looking for comprehensive feedback on our medical and therapy regime. I assure you I have left no stone unturned. Just asking specifically about experiences with SN kids and activities/summer camps.

It is happening due to the hyperactivity. The only treatment for ADHD/hyperactivity is medication. No need to be touchy about it. We all have kids with issues in this forum. The medication he is on is not working if his hyperactivity is not managed to this degree.

The only other suggestion I have is camps that are sports/running heavy. So soccer, swimming, etc. But even then if his inattention is preventing him from following directions, I'm not sure it would work.

Op here. I put my 4 year old on stimulants. I’m aware he’s hyperactive. I am not looking for explanations. I know my kid.

If you look at my OP, I had a specific question which is:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

Your question is about you feeling sorry for yourself at the moment and not actually looking for solutions. I get it. I have a kid on the spectrum who also has ADHD and ticks. I get it. It took me a long come to come to terms with some things.

But I am telling you as a mother to a 16 year old that the medication is not working and it could fix a lot of the issues.

Op here. Just go away. You’re not helping. We literally have a child psychiatrist who we see every month. You honestly think you can do better on an anonymous board than what our psychiatrist who is an MD and has actually seen our child for years can? Did you see the part where I said we put our 4 year old on stimulants? Do you think that happens by just waltzing into a pediatrician appointment? It took tenacity and follow up and advocacy and specialists and doctor shopping to get a 4 year old on stimulants, mmmkay?

You can be offended all you want, but I'm telling you as someone who has a lot more experience dealing with this than you do that whatever the psychiatrist put him on is not working. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he on medication?

Op here. Yes. And we’ve done evaluations and we have an army of doctors. We have a diagnosis. We know the cause.

If possible, I would greatly appreciate if we could stick to the question I am asking, which is NOT-how do I prevent this from happening or why is this happening. Because I have already done ALL THE THINGS-promise I am not looking for comprehensive feedback on our medical and therapy regime. I assure you I have left no stone unturned. Just asking specifically about experiences with SN kids and activities/summer camps.

It is happening due to the hyperactivity. The only treatment for ADHD/hyperactivity is medication. No need to be touchy about it. We all have kids with issues in this forum. The medication he is on is not working if his hyperactivity is not managed to this degree.

The only other suggestion I have is camps that are sports/running heavy. So soccer, swimming, etc. But even then if his inattention is preventing him from following directions, I'm not sure it would work.

Op here. I put my 4 year old on stimulants. I’m aware he’s hyperactive. I am not looking for explanations. I know my kid.

If you look at my OP, I had a specific question which is:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

Your question is about you feeling sorry for yourself at the moment and not actually looking for solutions. I get it. I have a kid on the spectrum who also has ADHD and ticks. I get it. It took me a long come to come to terms with some things.

But I am telling you as a mother to a 16 year old that the medication is not working and it could fix a lot of the issues.

Op here. Just go away. You’re not helping. We literally have a child psychiatrist who we see every month. You honestly think you can do better on an anonymous board than what our psychiatrist who is an MD and has actually seen our child for years can? Did you see the part where I said we put our 4 year old on stimulants? Do you think that happens by just waltzing into a pediatrician appointment? It took tenacity and follow up and advocacy and specialists and doctor shopping to get a 4 year old on stimulants, mmmkay?

OP don't engage with that poster. It's not worth it.
I did want to raise a question about whether you are prepared for your child having issues in kindergarten and what your back up plan is. I know your whole post is about trying to socialize him so he's prepared for K and you do have three months to do it but what if he does not mature? I just want to make sure you are psychologically prepared and logistically prepared. We were not and it was a shock.

My goodness. I'm that poster. I said nothing remotely offensive. How is it NOT helpful to hear from a parent of an older child with ADHD that meds have to be adjusted sometimes? I know what it feels like to feel hopeless. Ive been there and I wasn't trying to offend anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he on medication?

Op here. Yes. And we’ve done evaluations and we have an army of doctors. We have a diagnosis. We know the cause.

If possible, I would greatly appreciate if we could stick to the question I am asking, which is NOT-how do I prevent this from happening or why is this happening. Because I have already done ALL THE THINGS-promise I am not looking for comprehensive feedback on our medical and therapy regime. I assure you I have left no stone unturned. Just asking specifically about experiences with SN kids and activities/summer camps.

It is happening due to the hyperactivity. The only treatment for ADHD/hyperactivity is medication. No need to be touchy about it. We all have kids with issues in this forum. The medication he is on is not working if his hyperactivity is not managed to this degree.

The only other suggestion I have is camps that are sports/running heavy. So soccer, swimming, etc. But even then if his inattention is preventing him from following directions, I'm not sure it would work.

Op here. I put my 4 year old on stimulants. I’m aware he’s hyperactive. I am not looking for explanations. I know my kid.

If you look at my OP, I had a specific question which is:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

Your question is about you feeling sorry for yourself at the moment and not actually looking for solutions. I get it. I have a kid on the spectrum who also has ADHD and ticks. I get it. It took me a long come to come to terms with some things.

But I am telling you as a mother to a 16 year old that the medication is not working and it could fix a lot of the issues.

Op here. Just go away. You’re not helping. We literally have a child psychiatrist who we see every month. You honestly think you can do better on an anonymous board than what our psychiatrist who is an MD and has actually seen our child for years can? Did you see the part where I said we put our 4 year old on stimulants? Do you think that happens by just waltzing into a pediatrician appointment? It took tenacity and follow up and advocacy and specialists and doctor shopping to get a 4 year old on stimulants, mmmkay?

You can be offended all you want, but I'm telling you as someone who has a lot more experience dealing with this than you do that whatever the psychiatrist put him on is not working. Good luck.

Op here. What is it that you imagine occurs in our monthly visits to our child psychiatrist? Do you think I just fail to mention the struggles? Do you think we have only ever tried one medication and never ever changed the dosage/timing/etc? Do you think these appointments are for recreation or chit chat? WE HAVE TRIED NO FEWER THAN 10 DIFFERENT PSYCHIATRIC MEDICATIONS ON OUR 5 YEAR OLD AT VARIOUS DOSES. Why do you think you know more than I do, when I have had the tenacity and wherewithal to get my 4 year old ok stimulants? How many people have you ever met that have done that? Doctors do not like to diagnose ADHD at 4, let alone prescribe STIMULANTS for it at that age. And yet, I managed to get my son on them on his 4th birthday.

But sure, by all means, tell me more about how I’m in denial and need to try a new medication. Wow, amazing, I’ll have to show your post to our psychiatrist! Because it never occurred to any of us to try a different medication or dose or time of day or…..

[Anonymous]

Hi Op what about the JCC? They have a shadow program that’s really great. We had an awesome experience there. This is in the DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he on medication?

Op here. Yes. And we’ve done evaluations and we have an army of doctors. We have a diagnosis. We know the cause.

If possible, I would greatly appreciate if we could stick to the question I am asking, which is NOT-how do I prevent this from happening or why is this happening. Because I have already done ALL THE THINGS-promise I am not looking for comprehensive feedback on our medical and therapy regime. I assure you I have left no stone unturned. Just asking specifically about experiences with SN kids and activities/summer camps.

It is happening due to the hyperactivity. The only treatment for ADHD/hyperactivity is medication. No need to be touchy about it. We all have kids with issues in this forum. The medication he is on is not working if his hyperactivity is not managed to this degree.

The only other suggestion I have is camps that are sports/running heavy. So soccer, swimming, etc. But even then if his inattention is preventing him from following directions, I'm not sure it would work.

Op here. I put my 4 year old on stimulants. I’m aware he’s hyperactive. I am not looking for explanations. I know my kid.

If you look at my OP, I had a specific question which is:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

Your question is about you feeling sorry for yourself at the moment and not actually looking for solutions. I get it. I have a kid on the spectrum who also has ADHD and ticks. I get it. It took me a long come to come to terms with some things.

But I am telling you as a mother to a 16 year old that the medication is not working and it could fix a lot of the issues.

Op here. Just go away. You’re not helping. We literally have a child psychiatrist who we see every month. You honestly think you can do better on an anonymous board than what our psychiatrist who is an MD and has actually seen our child for years can? Did you see the part where I said we put our 4 year old on stimulants? Do you think that happens by just waltzing into a pediatrician appointment? It took tenacity and follow up and advocacy and specialists and doctor shopping to get a 4 year old on stimulants, mmmkay?

OP don't engage with that poster. It's not worth it.
I did want to raise a question about whether you are prepared for your child having issues in kindergarten and what your back up plan is. I know your whole post is about trying to socialize him so he's prepared for K and you do have three months to do it but what if he does not mature? I just want to make sure you are psychologically prepared and logistically prepared. We were not and it was a shock.

My goodness. I'm that poster. I said nothing remotely offensive. How is it NOT helpful to hear from a parent of an older child with ADHD that meds have to be adjusted sometimes? I know what it feels like to feel hopeless. Ive been there and I wasn't trying to offend anyone.

NP. I didn't read your post as offensive at all. The OP asked whether to give up. You said if you have to give up, it means there's something wrong with his current meds. That seems correct to me. If your kid has been medicated for 2-3 years and on stimulants for 1-2 years, it means something with the current regime isn't working if he can't get a single activity to stick. Give up on activities for now and focus on tweaking the medication +/- other coping and mitigation measures, because K is quickly going to end up with him in a self-contained classroom if no activity can keep him in check for even an hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he on medication?

Op here. Yes. And we’ve done evaluations and we have an army of doctors. We have a diagnosis. We know the cause.

If possible, I would greatly appreciate if we could stick to the question I am asking, which is NOT-how do I prevent this from happening or why is this happening. Because I have already done ALL THE THINGS-promise I am not looking for comprehensive feedback on our medical and therapy regime. I assure you I have left no stone unturned. Just asking specifically about experiences with SN kids and activities/summer camps.

It is happening due to the hyperactivity. The only treatment for ADHD/hyperactivity is medication. No need to be touchy about it. We all have kids with issues in this forum. The medication he is on is not working if his hyperactivity is not managed to this degree.

The only other suggestion I have is camps that are sports/running heavy. So soccer, swimming, etc. But even then if his inattention is preventing him from following directions, I'm not sure it would work.

Op here. I put my 4 year old on stimulants. I’m aware he’s hyperactive. I am not looking for explanations. I know my kid.

If you look at my OP, I had a specific question which is:

At what point do you just decide that your kid won’t be in anything and stop trying?

Your question is about you feeling sorry for yourself at the moment and not actually looking for solutions. I get it. I have a kid on the spectrum who also has ADHD and ticks. I get it. It took me a long come to come to terms with some things.

But I am telling you as a mother to a 16 year old that the medication is not working and it could fix a lot of the issues.

Op here. Just go away. You’re not helping. We literally have a child psychiatrist who we see every month. You honestly think you can do better on an anonymous board than what our psychiatrist who is an MD and has actually seen our child for years can? Did you see the part where I said we put our 4 year old on stimulants? Do you think that happens by just waltzing into a pediatrician appointment? It took tenacity and follow up and advocacy and specialists and doctor shopping to get a 4 year old on stimulants, mmmkay?

You can be offended all you want, but I'm telling you as someone who has a lot more experience dealing with this than you do that whatever the psychiatrist put him on is not working. Good luck.

Op here. What is it that you imagine occurs in our monthly visits to our child psychiatrist? Do you think I just fail to mention the struggles? Do you think we have only ever tried one medication and never ever changed the dosage/timing/etc? Do you think these appointments are for recreation or chit chat? WE HAVE TRIED NO FEWER THAN 10 DIFFERENT PSYCHIATRIC MEDICATIONS ON OUR 5 YEAR OLD AT VARIOUS DOSES. Why do you think you know more than I do, when I have had the tenacity and wherewithal to get my 4 year old ok stimulants? How many people have you ever met that have done that? Doctors do not like to diagnose ADHD at 4, let alone prescribe STIMULANTS for it at that age. And yet, I managed to get my son on them on his 4th birthday.

But sure, by all means, tell me more about how I’m in denial and need to try a new medication. Wow, amazing, I’ll have to show your post to our psychiatrist! Because it never occurred to any of us to try a different medication or dose or time of day or…..

It's amazing to me that you came here and asked for advice considering you already know it all. So sorry to offend you by sharing my personal experience. GOOD LUCK.

[Anonymous]

OP, sometimes the extras are just too much for young kids - special needs or not. Therapy is also an activity, and your kid may not have the bandwidth to do school, therapy AND extracurriculars. My youngest didn’t. He has ADHD and autism and like you, I tried so hard to find extra things for him - very few things were a fit. Inclusive doesn’t mean a guarantee that a program works for every kid. One of the few things that were a good fit for my kid at that age was tee ball - I volunteered as a coach but lots of kids had a parent on the field and it was easy for me to help support him.