SAHM to working mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be arrogant in your interview.

Remember you are essentially a new college grad with no experience and out of date skills.

Don’t mention you have kids because after SAH it’s clear your h has no interest in being involved in the kids lives so they will assume you will take off every time they are sick.

Say you took time to care for a dying aunt.

This. Here’s my bias as a working mom:

1. You don’t really want to work
2. You didn’t value your career
3. You don’t have a spouse who does his share at home
4. Your spouse is now used to you doing everything and all sick days will fall on you
5. You’ll talk about your kid all the time because it’s been your life and you don’t understand other people don’t care about your kids anymore than someone’s pet or vacation

Exhibit A as to how terribly women treat other women.

Yup. I work in a male dominated field and it’s been a breeze getting time off whenever I need even to *gasp* care for children! They also don’t mind me talking about my kids and even talk about their own kids, if you can imagine it.

My boss even let me go part time when I requested it, even though my “excuse” was simply that I wanted more time with my kids.

So advice for the “biased” working mom: get that chip off your shoulder and stop acting like an AH.

Interesting point. I’ve had two phases to my career, both in male-dominated industries. Both have been family-friendly and understanding to moms and dads when childcare needs have arisen or for me when I wanted to scale back to part-time. I think women can be prone to treat other women horribly, and I’ve seen the most obnoxious statements on the issue here on dcum.

Agree. I have seen the same in my workplaces. The female bosses have been horrible bosses and mentors to junior women.

Actually no.
Just the insecure women.
Your comments are clear examples of how women like to tear down other women.

C’mon. Look at the statements in this thread. It’s clear some women will treat other women in the workplace horribly. The best bosses I’ve had have been women, and the worst bosses I’ve had have been women.

Same. Men who are hiring seem to not GAF about mommy gaps. Well, thats not true, if they do talk about mommy gaps they seem to think it's honorable and all that. All they care about is whether or not employees serve their purposes. I personally have only heard women make assumptions like you see in this thread about moms who take gaps. I know in theory that men are just as likely to make decisions based on emotion but I think that in this realm, women are more likely to make the more irrational decisions. Not all women, of course! Some moms who never left the workforce think it's also honorable or just don't care. I really love those women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can speak only for myself, but I dare say that the feisty comments from the working moms is reaction to OP's reference to "moms who wish they could be SAHMs."

I believe each family makes that decision based on what's best for the family. It has to do with complex number of factors surrounding resources, time, job flexibility, personalities, on and on.

I do not think that a SAHM is lesser of a person than a working mom or vice versa. For example, I've known smart researchers who took a break from their career because the cost of childcare is so high that it just does not make sense. And it doesn't all have to be about $$. If my child had special needs, I would certainly prioritize that over my job.

OP's comment had inherent bias and judgment, and that is what feedback she will get.

I also work in a male dominated field.
My colleagues and I get along well and work together well.
I've had male and female mentors, and in turn mentor males and females.
No chips on my shoulder.

Yes, but I think someone mature and secure in their own decisions aren't coming out swinging at OP by insulting all SAHMs. They are the commenters who are just pointing out that what OP said is rude and that she should just focus on the skills she brings to the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be arrogant in your interview.

Remember you are essentially a new college grad with no experience and out of date skills.

Don’t mention you have kids because after SAH it’s clear your h has no interest in being involved in the kids lives so they will assume you will take off every time they are sick.

Say you took time to care for a dying aunt.

This. Here’s my bias as a working mom:

1. You don’t really want to work
2. You didn’t value your career
3. You don’t have a spouse who does his share at home
4. Your spouse is now used to you doing everything and all sick days will fall on you
5. You’ll talk about your kid all the time because it’s been your life and you don’t understand other people don’t care about your kids anymore than someone’s pet or vacation

Exhibit A as to how terribly women treat other women.

Absolutely. For all the complaining women do about "boys clubs" at work, at least the "boys" help each other. Women are so mean to each other sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be arrogant in your interview.

Remember you are essentially a new college grad with no experience and out of date skills.

Don’t mention you have kids because after SAH it’s clear your h has no interest in being involved in the kids lives so they will assume you will take off every time they are sick.

Say you took time to care for a dying aunt.

This. Here’s my bias as a working mom:

1. You don’t really want to work
2. You didn’t value your career
3. You don’t have a spouse who does his share at home
4. Your spouse is now used to you doing everything and all sick days will fall on you
5. You’ll talk about your kid all the time because it’s been your life and you don’t understand other people don’t care about your kids anymore than someone’s pet or vacation

Exhibit A as to how terribly women treat other women.

Yup. I work in a male dominated field and it’s been a breeze getting time off whenever I need even to *gasp* care for children! They also don’t mind me talking about my kids and even talk about their own kids, if you can imagine it.

My boss even let me go part time when I requested it, even though my “excuse” was simply that I wanted more time with my kids.

So advice for the “biased” working mom: get that chip off your shoulder and stop acting like an AH.

Interesting point. I’ve had two phases to my career, both in male-dominated industries. Both have been family-friendly and understanding to moms and dads when childcare needs have arisen or for me when I wanted to scale back to part-time. I think women can be prone to treat other women horribly, and I’ve seen the most obnoxious statements on the issue here on dcum.

Agree. I have seen the same in my workplaces. The female bosses have been horrible bosses and mentors to junior women.

Actually no.
Just the insecure women.
Your comments are clear examples of how women like to tear down other women.

C’mon. Look at the statements in this thread. It’s clear some women will treat other women in the workplace horribly. The best bosses I’ve had have been women, and the worst bosses I’ve had have been women.

Same. Men who are hiring seem to not GAF about mommy gaps. Well, thats not true, if they do talk about mommy gaps they seem to think it's honorable and all that. All they care about is whether or not employees serve their purposes. I personally have only heard women make assumptions like you see in this thread about moms who take gaps. I know in theory that men are just as likely to make decisions based on emotion but I think that in this realm, women are more likely to make the more irrational decisions. Not all women, of course! Some moms who never left the workforce think it's also honorable or just don't care. I really love those women.

No that’s not how men think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can speak only for myself, but I dare say that the feisty comments from the working moms is reaction to OP's reference to "moms who wish they could be SAHMs."

I believe each family makes that decision based on what's best for the family. It has to do with complex number of factors surrounding resources, time, job flexibility, personalities, on and on.

I do not think that a SAHM is lesser of a person than a working mom or vice versa. For example, I've known smart researchers who took a break from their career because the cost of childcare is so high that it just does not make sense. And it doesn't all have to be about $$. If my child had special needs, I would certainly prioritize that over my job.

OP's comment had inherent bias and judgment, and that is what feedback she will get.

I also work in a male dominated field.
My colleagues and I get along well and work together well.
I've had male and female mentors, and in turn mentor males and females.
No chips on my shoulder.

Yes, but I think someone mature and secure in their own decisions aren't coming out swinging at OP by insulting all SAHMs. They are the commenters who are just pointing out that what OP said is rude and that she should just focus on the skills she brings to the table.

Exactly, remember candidates are probably interviewing @ 3-5 different places going thru 3 rounds each, and hiring team are meeting 6-8 candidates. And you have 30 minute each, every minute should be about skill, fit and pay, and not about why you did what with your life before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be arrogant in your interview.

Remember you are essentially a new college grad with no experience and out of date skills.

Don’t mention you have kids because after SAH it’s clear your h has no interest in being involved in the kids lives so they will assume you will take off every time they are sick.

Say you took time to care for a dying aunt.

This. Here’s my bias as a working mom:

1. You don’t really want to work
2. You didn’t value your career
3. You don’t have a spouse who does his share at home
4. Your spouse is now used to you doing everything and all sick days will fall on you
5. You’ll talk about your kid all the time because it’s been your life and you don’t understand other people don’t care about your kids anymore than someone’s pet or vacation

Exhibit A as to how terribly women treat other women.

Yup. I work in a male dominated field and it’s been a breeze getting time off whenever I need even to *gasp* care for children! They also don’t mind me talking about my kids and even talk about their own kids, if you can imagine it.

My boss even let me go part time when I requested it, even though my “excuse” was simply that I wanted more time with my kids.

So advice for the “biased” working mom: get that chip off your shoulder and stop acting like an AH.

Interesting point. I’ve had two phases to my career, both in male-dominated industries. Both have been family-friendly and understanding to moms and dads when childcare needs have arisen or for me when I wanted to scale back to part-time. I think women can be prone to treat other women horribly, and I’ve seen the most obnoxious statements on the issue here on dcum.

Agree. I have seen the same in my workplaces. The female bosses have been horrible bosses and mentors to junior women.

Actually no.
Just the insecure women.
Your comments are clear examples of how women like to tear down other women.

C’mon. Look at the statements in this thread. It’s clear some women will treat other women in the workplace horribly. The best bosses I’ve had have been women, and the worst bosses I’ve had have been women.

But is it really treating someone horribly to not view a woman taking time off from work in a positive way? I’m really not allowed to acknowledge that she likely has a spouse who is used to her doing everything including handling all sick days?

You and some other PPs are attributing it to treating other women horribly and our gender.

I’m not basing it on gender. I think anyone who was a stay at home parent for almost a decade is likely not that interested in working and has a spouse who is used to them doing everything at home. Anecdotally every SAHM I know wants to be at home with children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be arrogant in your interview.

Remember you are essentially a new college grad with no experience and out of date skills.

Don’t mention you have kids because after SAH it’s clear your h has no interest in being involved in the kids lives so they will assume you will take off every time they are sick.

Say you took time to care for a dying aunt.

This. Here’s my bias as a working mom:

1. You don’t really want to work
2. You didn’t value your career
3. You don’t have a spouse who does his share at home
4. Your spouse is now used to you doing everything and all sick days will fall on you
5. You’ll talk about your kid all the time because it’s been your life and you don’t understand other people don’t care about your kids anymore than someone’s pet or vacation

Exhibit A as to how terribly women treat other women.

Yup. I work in a male dominated field and it’s been a breeze getting time off whenever I need even to *gasp* care for children! They also don’t mind me talking about my kids and even talk about their own kids, if you can imagine it.

My boss even let me go part time when I requested it, even though my “excuse” was simply that I wanted more time with my kids.

So advice for the “biased” working mom: get that chip off your shoulder and stop acting like an AH.

Interesting point. I’ve had two phases to my career, both in male-dominated industries. Both have been family-friendly and understanding to moms and dads when childcare needs have arisen or for me when I wanted to scale back to part-time. I think women can be prone to treat other women horribly, and I’ve seen the most obnoxious statements on the issue here on dcum.

Agree. I have seen the same in my workplaces. The female bosses have been horrible bosses and mentors to junior women.

Actually no.
Just the insecure women.
Your comments are clear examples of how women like to tear down other women.

C’mon. Look at the statements in this thread. It’s clear some women will treat other women in the workplace horribly. The best bosses I’ve had have been women, and the worst bosses I’ve had have been women.

Same. Men who are hiring seem to not GAF about mommy gaps. Well, thats not true, if they do talk about mommy gaps they seem to think it's honorable and all that. All they care about is whether or not employees serve their purposes. I personally have only heard women make assumptions like you see in this thread about moms who take gaps. I know in theory that men are just as likely to make decisions based on emotion but I think that in this realm, women are more likely to make the more irrational decisions. Not all women, of course! Some moms who never left the workforce think it's also honorable or just don't care. I really love those women.

This isn’t true at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be arrogant in your interview.

Remember you are essentially a new college grad with no experience and out of date skills.

Don’t mention you have kids because after SAH it’s clear your h has no interest in being involved in the kids lives so they will assume you will take off every time they are sick.

Say you took time to care for a dying aunt.

This. Here’s my bias as a working mom:

1. You don’t really want to work
2. You didn’t value your career
3. You don’t have a spouse who does his share at home
4. Your spouse is now used to you doing everything and all sick days will fall on you
5. You’ll talk about your kid all the time because it’s been your life and you don’t understand other people don’t care about your kids anymore than someone’s pet or vacation

Exhibit A as to how terribly women treat other women.

Yup. I work in a male dominated field and it’s been a breeze getting time off whenever I need even to *gasp* care for children! They also don’t mind me talking about my kids and even talk about their own kids, if you can imagine it.

My boss even let me go part time when I requested it, even though my “excuse” was simply that I wanted more time with my kids.

So advice for the “biased” working mom: get that chip off your shoulder and stop acting like an AH.

Interesting point. I’ve had two phases to my career, both in male-dominated industries. Both have been family-friendly and understanding to moms and dads when childcare needs have arisen or for me when I wanted to scale back to part-time. I think women can be prone to treat other women horribly, and I’ve seen the most obnoxious statements on the issue here on dcum.

Agree. I have seen the same in my workplaces. The female bosses have been horrible bosses and mentors to junior women.

Actually no.
Just the insecure women.
Your comments are clear examples of how women like to tear down other women.

C’mon. Look at the statements in this thread. It’s clear some women will treat other women in the workplace horribly. The best bosses I’ve had have been women, and the worst bosses I’ve had have been women.

Same. Men who are hiring seem to not GAF about mommy gaps. Well, thats not true, if they do talk about mommy gaps they seem to think it's honorable and all that. All they care about is whether or not employees serve their purposes. I personally have only heard women make assumptions like you see in this thread about moms who take gaps. I know in theory that men are just as likely to make decisions based on emotion but I think that in this realm, women are more likely to make the more irrational decisions. Not all women, of course! Some moms who never left the workforce think it's also honorable or just don't care. I really love those women.

OP is the perfect example of a woman who is too focused on staying home with kids to manage a career. She thinks other women are jealous and thinks it’s important to mention this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you interviewed, is there a way to explain your absence in a way that doesn't offend the working moms who wish they could be SAHMs?

Step one - don’t assume they “wished” they could have be SAHMs. I have never wanted to be a SAHM and that is why I advanced in my career that I love which lets me afford a great life for my kids. My DH does at least 50% of childcare so don’t even start with “the poor neglected kids” attitude. One of us is always available for them. You already sound insufferable

Stick to why you want the job and why your qualifications meet what the employer is looking for

Absolutely this. This mindset is so gross. I don't have any regrets - my career path has allowed for a well-paying WFH job and I spend a ton of time with my kids.

I say this as someone who has hired a former PT working mom into a FT role. But she didn't act like she was cluelessly pitying my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be arrogant in your interview.

Remember you are essentially a new college grad with no experience and out of date skills.

Don’t mention you have kids because after SAH it’s clear your h has no interest in being involved in the kids lives so they will assume you will take off every time they are sick.

Say you took time to care for a dying aunt.

This. Here’s my bias as a working mom:

1. You don’t really want to work
2. You didn’t value your career
3. You don’t have a spouse who does his share at home
4. Your spouse is now used to you doing everything and all sick days will fall on you
5. You’ll talk about your kid all the time because it’s been your life and you don’t understand other people don’t care about your kids anymore than someone’s pet or vacation

Exhibit A as to how terribly women treat other women.

Yup. I work in a male dominated field and it’s been a breeze getting time off whenever I need even to *gasp* care for children! They also don’t mind me talking about my kids and even talk about their own kids, if you can imagine it.

My boss even let me go part time when I requested it, even though my “excuse” was simply that I wanted more time with my kids.

So advice for the “biased” working mom: get that chip off your shoulder and stop acting like an AH.

Interesting point. I’ve had two phases to my career, both in male-dominated industries. Both have been family-friendly and understanding to moms and dads when childcare needs have arisen or for me when I wanted to scale back to part-time. I think women can be prone to treat other women horribly, and I’ve seen the most obnoxious statements on the issue here on dcum.

Agree. I have seen the same in my workplaces. The female bosses have been horrible bosses and mentors to junior women.

Actually no.
Just the insecure women.
Your comments are clear examples of how women like to tear down other women.

C’mon. Look at the statements in this thread. It’s clear some women will treat other women in the workplace horribly. The best bosses I’ve had have been women, and the worst bosses I’ve had have been women.

But is it really treating someone horribly to not view a woman taking time off from work in a positive way? I’m really not allowed to acknowledge that she likely has a spouse who is used to her doing everything including handling all sick days?

You and some other PPs are attributing it to treating other women horribly and our gender.

I’m not basing it on gender. I think anyone who was a stay at home parent for almost a decade is likely not that interested in working and has a spouse who is used to them doing everything at home. Anecdotally every SAHM I know wants to be at home with children.

No, you actually aren’t allowed to think any of this, and you certainly aren’t allowed to let it influence or dictate your hiring decisions. Two major reasons: 1) you don’t know any if any of your assumptions are true, and 2) it’s absolutely none of your business anyway.

You know how you can *definitively* tell if someone who was a stay at home parent for a decade is interested in working? If they’re sitting in the room with you INTERVIEWING FOR A JOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be arrogant in your interview.

Remember you are essentially a new college grad with no experience and out of date skills.

Don’t mention you have kids because after SAH it’s clear your h has no interest in being involved in the kids lives so they will assume you will take off every time they are sick.

Say you took time to care for a dying aunt.

This. Here’s my bias as a working mom:

1. You don’t really want to work
2. You didn’t value your career
3. You don’t have a spouse who does his share at home
4. Your spouse is now used to you doing everything and all sick days will fall on you
5. You’ll talk about your kid all the time because it’s been your life and you don’t understand other people don’t care about your kids anymore than someone’s pet or vacation

Exhibit A as to how terribly women treat other women.

Yup. I work in a male dominated field and it’s been a breeze getting time off whenever I need even to *gasp* care for children! They also don’t mind me talking about my kids and even talk about their own kids, if you can imagine it.

My boss even let me go part time when I requested it, even though my “excuse” was simply that I wanted more time with my kids.

So advice for the “biased” working mom: get that chip off your shoulder and stop acting like an AH.

Interesting point. I’ve had two phases to my career, both in male-dominated industries. Both have been family-friendly and understanding to moms and dads when childcare needs have arisen or for me when I wanted to scale back to part-time. I think women can be prone to treat other women horribly, and I’ve seen the most obnoxious statements on the issue here on dcum.

Agree. I have seen the same in my workplaces. The female bosses have been horrible bosses and mentors to junior women.

Actually no.
Just the insecure women.
Your comments are clear examples of how women like to tear down other women.

C’mon. Look at the statements in this thread. It’s clear some women will treat other women in the workplace horribly. The best bosses I’ve had have been women, and the worst bosses I’ve had have been women.

But is it really treating someone horribly to not view a woman taking time off from work in a positive way? I’m really not allowed to acknowledge that she likely has a spouse who is used to her doing everything including handling all sick days?

You and some other PPs are attributing it to treating other women horribly and our gender.

I’m not basing it on gender. I think anyone who was a stay at home parent for almost a decade is likely not that interested in working and has a spouse who is used to them doing everything at home. Anecdotally every SAHM I know wants to be at home with children.

Wow, you are so wrong. I am scared to hear your stereotypes about other groups. I hope you have better critical thinking skills in your job than you have displayed here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be arrogant in your interview.

Remember you are essentially a new college grad with no experience and out of date skills.

Don’t mention you have kids because after SAH it’s clear your h has no interest in being involved in the kids lives so they will assume you will take off every time they are sick.

Say you took time to care for a dying aunt.

This. Here’s my bias as a working mom:

1. You don’t really want to work
2. You didn’t value your career
3. You don’t have a spouse who does his share at home
4. Your spouse is now used to you doing everything and all sick days will fall on you
5. You’ll talk about your kid all the time because it’s been your life and you don’t understand other people don’t care about your kids anymore than someone’s pet or vacation

Exhibit A as to how terribly women treat other women.

Yup. I work in a male dominated field and it’s been a breeze getting time off whenever I need even to *gasp* care for children! They also don’t mind me talking about my kids and even talk about their own kids, if you can imagine it.

My boss even let me go part time when I requested it, even though my “excuse” was simply that I wanted more time with my kids.

So advice for the “biased” working mom: get that chip off your shoulder and stop acting like an AH.

Interesting point. I’ve had two phases to my career, both in male-dominated industries. Both have been family-friendly and understanding to moms and dads when childcare needs have arisen or for me when I wanted to scale back to part-time. I think women can be prone to treat other women horribly, and I’ve seen the most obnoxious statements on the issue here on dcum.

Agree. I have seen the same in my workplaces. The female bosses have been horrible bosses and mentors to junior women.

Actually no.
Just the insecure women.
Your comments are clear examples of how women like to tear down other women.

C’mon. Look at the statements in this thread. It’s clear some women will treat other women in the workplace horribly. The best bosses I’ve had have been women, and the worst bosses I’ve had have been women.

But is it really treating someone horribly to not view a woman taking time off from work in a positive way? I’m really not allowed to acknowledge that she likely has a spouse who is used to her doing everything including handling all sick days?

You and some other PPs are attributing it to treating other women horribly and our gender.

I’m not basing it on gender. I think anyone who was a stay at home parent for almost a decade is likely not that interested in working and has a spouse who is used to them doing everything at home. Anecdotally every SAHM I know wants to be at home with children.

No, you actually aren’t allowed to think any of this, and you certainly aren’t allowed to let it influence or dictate your hiring decisions. Two major reasons: 1) you don’t know any if any of your assumptions are true, and 2) it’s absolutely none of your business anyway.

You know how you can *definitively* tell if someone who was a stay at home parent for a decade is interested in working? If they’re sitting in the room with you INTERVIEWING FOR A JOB.

I guess. I’ve known many SAHMs who reluctantly return to work and don’t have any real interest in working. You even see the posts on here of women wanting very part time or WFH jobs. They don’t want to actually have a career.

OP kind of proves this point. She thinks other women might be JEALOUS of her for staying home. She thinks staying home is better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be arrogant in your interview.

Remember you are essentially a new college grad with no experience and out of date skills.

Don’t mention you have kids because after SAH it’s clear your h has no interest in being involved in the kids lives so they will assume you will take off every time they are sick.

Say you took time to care for a dying aunt.

This. Here’s my bias as a working mom:

1. You don’t really want to work
2. You didn’t value your career
3. You don’t have a spouse who does his share at home
4. Your spouse is now used to you doing everything and all sick days will fall on you
5. You’ll talk about your kid all the time because it’s been your life and you don’t understand other people don’t care about your kids anymore than someone’s pet or vacation

Exhibit A as to how terribly women treat other women.

Yup. I work in a male dominated field and it’s been a breeze getting time off whenever I need even to *gasp* care for children! They also don’t mind me talking about my kids and even talk about their own kids, if you can imagine it.

My boss even let me go part time when I requested it, even though my “excuse” was simply that I wanted more time with my kids.

So advice for the “biased” working mom: get that chip off your shoulder and stop acting like an AH.

Interesting point. I’ve had two phases to my career, both in male-dominated industries. Both have been family-friendly and understanding to moms and dads when childcare needs have arisen or for me when I wanted to scale back to part-time. I think women can be prone to treat other women horribly, and I’ve seen the most obnoxious statements on the issue here on dcum.

Agree. I have seen the same in my workplaces. The female bosses have been horrible bosses and mentors to junior women.

Actually no.
Just the insecure women.
Your comments are clear examples of how women like to tear down other women.

C’mon. Look at the statements in this thread. It’s clear some women will treat other women in the workplace horribly. The best bosses I’ve had have been women, and the worst bosses I’ve had have been women.

But is it really treating someone horribly to not view a woman taking time off from work in a positive way? I’m really not allowed to acknowledge that she likely has a spouse who is used to her doing everything including handling all sick days?

You and some other PPs are attributing it to treating other women horribly and our gender.

I’m not basing it on gender. I think anyone who was a stay at home parent for almost a decade is likely not that interested in working and has a spouse who is used to them doing everything at home. Anecdotally every SAHM I know wants to be at home with children.

Wow, you are so wrong. I am scared to hear your stereotypes about other groups. I hope you have better critical thinking skills in your job than you have displayed here.

I’m so wrong that a woman who stayed home for almost a decade isn’t career focused?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be arrogant in your interview.

Remember you are essentially a new college grad with no experience and out of date skills.

Don’t mention you have kids because after SAH it’s clear your h has no interest in being involved in the kids lives so they will assume you will take off every time they are sick.

Say you took time to care for a dying aunt.

This. Here’s my bias as a working mom:

1. You don’t really want to work
2. You didn’t value your career
3. You don’t have a spouse who does his share at home
4. Your spouse is now used to you doing everything and all sick days will fall on you
5. You’ll talk about your kid all the time because it’s been your life and you don’t understand other people don’t care about your kids anymore than someone’s pet or vacation

Exhibit A as to how terribly women treat other women.

Yup. I work in a male dominated field and it’s been a breeze getting time off whenever I need even to *gasp* care for children! They also don’t mind me talking about my kids and even talk about their own kids, if you can imagine it.

My boss even let me go part time when I requested it, even though my “excuse” was simply that I wanted more time with my kids.

So advice for the “biased” working mom: get that chip off your shoulder and stop acting like an AH.

Interesting point. I’ve had two phases to my career, both in male-dominated industries. Both have been family-friendly and understanding to moms and dads when childcare needs have arisen or for me when I wanted to scale back to part-time. I think women can be prone to treat other women horribly, and I’ve seen the most obnoxious statements on the issue here on dcum.

Agree. I have seen the same in my workplaces. The female bosses have been horrible bosses and mentors to junior women.

Actually no.
Just the insecure women.
Your comments are clear examples of how women like to tear down other women.

C’mon. Look at the statements in this thread. It’s clear some women will treat other women in the workplace horribly. The best bosses I’ve had have been women, and the worst bosses I’ve had have been women.

But is it really treating someone horribly to not view a woman taking time off from work in a positive way? I’m really not allowed to acknowledge that she likely has a spouse who is used to her doing everything including handling all sick days?

You and some other PPs are attributing it to treating other women horribly and our gender.

I’m not basing it on gender. I think anyone who was a stay at home parent for almost a decade is likely not that interested in working and has a spouse who is used to them doing everything at home. Anecdotally every SAHM I know wants to be at home with children.

No, you actually aren’t allowed to think any of this, and you certainly aren’t allowed to let it influence or dictate your hiring decisions. Two major reasons: 1) you don’t know any if any of your assumptions are true, and 2) it’s absolutely none of your business anyway.

You know how you can *definitively* tell if someone who was a stay at home parent for a decade is interested in working? If they’re sitting in the room with you INTERVIEWING FOR A JOB.

I guess. I’ve known many SAHMs who reluctantly return to work and don’t have any real interest in working. You even see the posts on here of women wanting very part time or WFH jobs. They don’t want to actually have a career.

OP kind of proves this point. She thinks other women might be JEALOUS of her for staying home. She thinks staying home is better.

IT DOES NOT MATTER what she or anyone thinks about being a stay at home mom. She is ACTIVELY looking for a job NOW. That indicates she wants to work NOW, even if she didn’t want to work five years ago.

Does the existence of your retirement account mean that you’re not interested in working? After all, you’re saving up money for the explicit purpose of leaving your job! So how devoted could you really be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be arrogant in your interview.

Remember you are essentially a new college grad with no experience and out of date skills.

Don’t mention you have kids because after SAH it’s clear your h has no interest in being involved in the kids lives so they will assume you will take off every time they are sick.

Say you took time to care for a dying aunt.

This. Here’s my bias as a working mom:

1. You don’t really want to work
2. You didn’t value your career
3. You don’t have a spouse who does his share at home
4. Your spouse is now used to you doing everything and all sick days will fall on you
5. You’ll talk about your kid all the time because it’s been your life and you don’t understand other people don’t care about your kids anymore than someone’s pet or vacation

Exhibit A as to how terribly women treat other women.

Yup. I work in a male dominated field and it’s been a breeze getting time off whenever I need even to *gasp* care for children! They also don’t mind me talking about my kids and even talk about their own kids, if you can imagine it.

My boss even let me go part time when I requested it, even though my “excuse” was simply that I wanted more time with my kids.

So advice for the “biased” working mom: get that chip off your shoulder and stop acting like an AH.

Interesting point. I’ve had two phases to my career, both in male-dominated industries. Both have been family-friendly and understanding to moms and dads when childcare needs have arisen or for me when I wanted to scale back to part-time. I think women can be prone to treat other women horribly, and I’ve seen the most obnoxious statements on the issue here on dcum.

Agree. I have seen the same in my workplaces. The female bosses have been horrible bosses and mentors to junior women.

Actually no.
Just the insecure women.
Your comments are clear examples of how women like to tear down other women.

C’mon. Look at the statements in this thread. It’s clear some women will treat other women in the workplace horribly. The best bosses I’ve had have been women, and the worst bosses I’ve had have been women.

But is it really treating someone horribly to not view a woman taking time off from work in a positive way? I’m really not allowed to acknowledge that she likely has a spouse who is used to her doing everything including handling all sick days?

You and some other PPs are attributing it to treating other women horribly and our gender.

I’m not basing it on gender. I think anyone who was a stay at home parent for almost a decade is likely not that interested in working and has a spouse who is used to them doing everything at home. Anecdotally every SAHM I know wants to be at home with children.

No, you actually aren’t allowed to think any of this, and you certainly aren’t allowed to let it influence or dictate your hiring decisions. Two major reasons: 1) you don’t know any if any of your assumptions are true, and 2) it’s absolutely none of your business anyway.

You know how you can *definitively* tell if someone who was a stay at home parent for a decade is interested in working? If they’re sitting in the room with you INTERVIEWING FOR A JOB.

Everyone makes assumptions / inferences about candidates based on what all they have done in the past. It's not just SAHMs. Like someone might question how a fed atty (I am one) will transition to law firm hour expectations. You're naive if you think interviewers are robots.