Ideal time to start a family?

[Anonymous]

We have been together forever but not married. We had our unintentional baby at 26 and our intentional baby at 36. It's been non-stressful and fun. Not high earners at all but never any financial worries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had my first at 30, and my second at 32 — it was ideal. I will be only 50 when they’re in college.

But, you can’t control these things. Do the best you can with the timing you have.

Only 50 LOL

[Anonymous]

There is no universally ideal time but within prime biological window makes sense when possible.

Enjoying your life for 30 years, having and raising kids for next 20 and being child free to enjoy next 30 makes most sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How soon after you got married did you start a family? How old were you?

For an average adult 25+ couple with no major struggles, first year should be for fun but after that if you feel ready then you can start trying as it may take longer than you expect.

This.

[Anonymous]

I would have been a lousy mother in my 20s, but by my late 30s, I was settled in my career, done with my partying and really ready to devote myself to mothering.

For all the diminished fertility talk, I, like most of my friends, had no at trouble getting and staying pregnant in my late 30s.

[Anonymous]

I would plan to have last child before 35.

I had my first child at 30 and last child at 38. We originally thought we were done after having two kids at age 30 and 32 but then we had a third at 38.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my first at 30, and my second at 32 — it was ideal. I will be only 50 when they’re in college.

But, you can’t control these things. Do the best you can with the timing you have.

Only 50 LOL

That is a great age. Not sure why you are laughing. People on DCUM are so weird.

[Anonymous]

I was 32 when we got married. We probably should have start trying afte a year but want to be more settled in our jobs (we were both traveling a lot), we had a house but want more money saved so I could stay home.

I didn’t plan for infertility issues. Who knew? After many struggles, miscarriages and iVF, I got pregnant at 38.

Looking back, we shoulda started right away when my eggs were better. Don’t wait. Not everyone has these issues but you won’t know you have them before

[Anonymous]

Idea is when you have all the resources you need to do it:

1. Stable partnership if you want one
2. Sufficient income that you are not stressed about money.
3. Place in career where parenting isn’t a death sentence.

Some of my friends did it in residency, but only those who didn't have vast student loans. Those who did it in the 20s have made other sacrifices (still living in townhomes, f’rex) but do not overlook anything wrong with the three things above in pursuit of “ideal” timing. There are plenty of miserable people who did precisely that.

[Anonymous]

Married at 26 1/2. Had my first 2 months before my 29th birthday and my second at 30 1/2. Now 48 and will be empty nesters before I turn 50. So excited for this chapter of my life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Sorry I got distracted with work.

My husband and I got married last September after being together for 2 years.

- We got married at 31 and 34. I turn 32 next month and he just turned 35 in January.

- We bought a home earlier this year and both have jobs and are financially doing well.

I’m not sure when to start trying for a baby. We are ready but we have been given the advice to be married for 2-3 years before kids because we should take advantage of that time. That would put me at about 34/35 starting to try. We definitely want at least 2 kids and we are both ready but could wait if we should.

That's bad advice and could lead to having no kids. Anything after 35 is a total crap shoot even with all the money in the world and IVF