Concerned about Lack of Interest in Extracurricular Activities: what did I do wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some kids find school overstimulating and would prefer some downtime and quiet at home. As long as they aren’t on screens all afternoon and evening, I’d be fine with it.

+1 OP your girls sound like mine. They are happy with each other at home.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m honestly curious to if the activity pushers (“so they can do new things and meet new
People”) also do this for themselves, or is it for kids only?

I know how to swim, play tennis, play softball, play guitar, multiple languages, classic embroidery, basic hand and machine sewing, drawing and basic sculpture, jewelry beading, robotics and computer assembly. Started to learn most of these in elementary and middle school. Kept up with some in HS and college. And as an adult with ES kids i play tennis with a friend, take craft classes etc in the time i have outside work and family obligations.

Being a jack of all trades with activities doesn't mean the kids are happy and like it. If you did, that's great, but not all kids do.

What's not to like? Not sure what you're so worried about here. A kid might try tennis and decide it's not for them? So what?

Every kid is different. I know kids that were made to do too many activities that they didn't like. They hated to be so busy and just time to be kids. They would have preferred to do one or two activities that they actually wanted. Yes, I know this as I'm still good friends with most of them. Their parents did listen to them.

I'm not worried in the least. There is no such thing as "just time to be a kid" anymore. All the other kids are busy too. This is what being a kid is today. You can buck that trend all you like but your kid will be sitting home alone doing it.

It's really a shame parents don't see anything wrong with that. I feel bad for kids today.

No, I don't see anything wrong with it. My kids are happy and have found things they enjoy doing. I'm not sure they would be far happier spending more time alone at home playing board games.

NP. Sitting at home playing board games…alone?

Without friends. Or maybe you can sit there and play board games with your kids all afternoon? Whatever floats your boat.

This why it's sad, it's hard to find other kids around.

Because they are all out doing things. In your imagination they all hate it and aren't having fun. But, how would you really know?

Just because they aren't in sports doesn't mean they can't do things. And you've really never met a kid who was made to do activities that they didn't want to do or wished that they weren't so busy? That seems unlikely

Nope. How about you worry about your own kid instead of assuming the worst about others or assuming they are all unhappy.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’m honestly curious to if the activity pushers (“so they can do new things and meet new
People”) also do this for themselves, or is it for kids only?

I know how to swim, play tennis, play softball, play guitar, multiple languages, classic embroidery, basic hand and machine sewing, drawing and basic sculpture, jewelry beading, robotics and computer assembly. Started to learn most of these in elementary and middle school. Kept up with some in HS and college. And as an adult with ES kids i play tennis with a friend, take craft classes etc in the time i have outside work and family obligations.

Being a jack of all trades with activities doesn't mean the kids are happy and like it. If you did, that's great, but not all kids do.

What's not to like? Not sure what you're so worried about here. A kid might try tennis and decide it's not for them? So what?

Every kid is different. I know kids that were made to do too many activities that they didn't like. They hated to be so busy and just time to be kids. They would have preferred to do one or two activities that they actually wanted. Yes, I know this as I'm still good friends with most of them. Their parents did listen to them.

I'm not worried in the least. There is no such thing as "just time to be a kid" anymore. All the other kids are busy too. This is what being a kid is today. You can buck that trend all you like but your kid will be sitting home alone doing it.

It's really a shame parents don't see anything wrong with that. I feel bad for kids today.

No, I don't see anything wrong with it. My kids are happy and have found things they enjoy doing. I'm not sure they would be far happier spending more time alone at home playing board games.

NP. Sitting at home playing board games…alone?

Without friends. Or maybe you can sit there and play board games with your kids all afternoon? Whatever floats your boat.

This why it's sad, it's hard to find other kids around.

Because they are all out doing things. In your imagination they all hate it and aren't having fun. But, how would you really know?

Just because they aren't in sports doesn't mean they can't do things. And you've really never met a kid who was made to do activities that they didn't want to do or wished that they weren't so busy? That seems unlikely

Nope. How about you worry about your own kid instead of assuming the worst about others or assuming they are all unhappy.

I wasn't worrying at all. I'm simply participating in this thread.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m honestly curious to if the activity pushers (“so they can do new things and meet new
People”) also do this for themselves, or is it for kids only?

I know how to swim, play tennis, play softball, play guitar, multiple languages, classic embroidery, basic hand and machine sewing, drawing and basic sculpture, jewelry beading, robotics and computer assembly. Started to learn most of these in elementary and middle school. Kept up with some in HS and college. And as an adult with ES kids i play tennis with a friend, take craft classes etc in the time i have outside work and family obligations.

Being a jack of all trades with activities doesn't mean the kids are happy and like it. If you did, that's great, but not all kids do.

What's not to like? Not sure what you're so worried about here. A kid might try tennis and decide it's not for them? So what?

Every kid is different. I know kids that were made to do too many activities that they didn't like. They hated to be so busy and just time to be kids. They would have preferred to do one or two activities that they actually wanted. Yes, I know this as I'm still good friends with most of them. Their parents did listen to them.

I'm not worried in the least. There is no such thing as "just time to be a kid" anymore. All the other kids are busy too. This is what being a kid is today. You can buck that trend all you like but your kid will be sitting home alone doing it.

It's really a shame parents don't see anything wrong with that. I feel bad for kids today.

No, I don't see anything wrong with it. My kids are happy and have found things they enjoy doing. I'm not sure they would be far happier spending more time alone at home playing board games.

NP. Sitting at home playing board games…alone?

Without friends. Or maybe you can sit there and play board games with your kids all afternoon? Whatever floats your boat.

This why it's sad, it's hard to find other kids around.

Because they are all out doing things. In your imagination they all hate it and aren't having fun. But, how would you really know?

Just because they aren't in sports doesn't mean they can't do things. And you've really never met a kid who was made to do activities that they didn't want to do or wished that they weren't so busy? That seems unlikely

Nope. How about you worry about your own kid instead of assuming the worst about others or assuming they are all unhappy.

I wasn't worrying at all. I'm simply participating in this thread.

I guess it's just concern trolling to say it so "sad" and kids "wished they weren't so busy". Sure. I know kids who are sad and mad that their parents "don't let them do anything" because they are stuck in after care and miss out or their parents have so many kids they can't afford all the activities and its logistically impossible to get everyone around. But it's none of my business. Never has any kid complained to me that they wished they could just do nothing. Weird that you now so many.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m honestly curious to if the activity pushers (“so they can do new things and meet new
People”) also do this for themselves, or is it for kids only?

I know how to swim, play tennis, play softball, play guitar, multiple languages, classic embroidery, basic hand and machine sewing, drawing and basic sculpture, jewelry beading, robotics and computer assembly. Started to learn most of these in elementary and middle school. Kept up with some in HS and college. And as an adult with ES kids i play tennis with a friend, take craft classes etc in the time i have outside work and family obligations.

Being a jack of all trades with activities doesn't mean the kids are happy and like it. If you did, that's great, but not all kids do.

What's not to like? Not sure what you're so worried about here. A kid might try tennis and decide it's not for them? So what?

Every kid is different. I know kids that were made to do too many activities that they didn't like. They hated to be so busy and just time to be kids. They would have preferred to do one or two activities that they actually wanted. Yes, I know this as I'm still good friends with most of them. Their parents did listen to them.

I'm not worried in the least. There is no such thing as "just time to be a kid" anymore. All the other kids are busy too. This is what being a kid is today. You can buck that trend all you like but your kid will be sitting home alone doing it.

It's really a shame parents don't see anything wrong with that. I feel bad for kids today.

No, I don't see anything wrong with it. My kids are happy and have found things they enjoy doing. I'm not sure they would be far happier spending more time alone at home playing board games.

NP. Sitting at home playing board games…alone?

Without friends. Or maybe you can sit there and play board games with your kids all afternoon? Whatever floats your boat.

This why it's sad, it's hard to find other kids around.

Because they are all out doing things. In your imagination they all hate it and aren't having fun. But, how would you really know?

Just because they aren't in sports doesn't mean they can't do things. And you've really never met a kid who was made to do activities that they didn't want to do or wished that they weren't so busy? That seems unlikely

Nope. How about you worry about your own kid instead of assuming the worst about others or assuming they are all unhappy.

I wasn't worrying at all. I'm simply participating in this thread.

I guess it's just concern trolling to say it so "sad" and kids "wished they weren't so busy". Sure. I know kids who are sad and mad that their parents "don't let them do anything" because they are stuck in after care and miss out or their parents have so many kids they can't afford all the activities and its logistically impossible to get everyone around. But it's none of my business. Never has any kid complained to me that they wished they could just do nothing. Weird that you now so many.

Weird that you think that kids without activities equals doing nothing. And I said I know kids who are forced to do activities they don't want to or are forced to do so much they really don't have much down time at all. That's fine if you don't believe me, but I know these people, and grew up with some of them.

[Anonymous]

If they aren't interested in sports that's ok. Put them in art classes.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the girls don’t want to be enrolled with a bunch of rando kids. Perhaps do activities together as a family, or have them join you/your partner in an activity you enjoy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m honestly curious to if the activity pushers (“so they can do new things and meet new
People”) also do this for themselves, or is it for kids only?

I know how to swim, play tennis, play softball, play guitar, multiple languages, classic embroidery, basic hand and machine sewing, drawing and basic sculpture, jewelry beading, robotics and computer assembly. Started to learn most of these in elementary and middle school. Kept up with some in HS and college. And as an adult with ES kids i play tennis with a friend, take craft classes etc in the time i have outside work and family obligations.

Being a jack of all trades with activities doesn't mean the kids are happy and like it. If you did, that's great, but not all kids do.

What's not to like? Not sure what you're so worried about here. A kid might try tennis and decide it's not for them? So what?

Every kid is different. I know kids that were made to do too many activities that they didn't like. They hated to be so busy and just time to be kids. They would have preferred to do one or two activities that they actually wanted. Yes, I know this as I'm still good friends with most of them. Their parents did listen to them.

I'm not worried in the least. There is no such thing as "just time to be a kid" anymore. All the other kids are busy too. This is what being a kid is today. You can buck that trend all you like but your kid will be sitting home alone doing it.

It's really a shame parents don't see anything wrong with that. I feel bad for kids today.

No, I don't see anything wrong with it. My kids are happy and have found things they enjoy doing. I'm not sure they would be far happier spending more time alone at home playing board games.

NP. Sitting at home playing board games…alone?

Without friends. Or maybe you can sit there and play board games with your kids all afternoon? Whatever floats your boat.

This why it's sad, it's hard to find other kids around.

Because they are all out doing things. In your imagination they all hate it and aren't having fun. But, how would you really know?

Just because they aren't in sports doesn't mean they can't do things. And you've really never met a kid who was made to do activities that they didn't want to do or wished that they weren't so busy? That seems unlikely

Nope. How about you worry about your own kid instead of assuming the worst about others or assuming they are all unhappy.

I wasn't worrying at all. I'm simply participating in this thread.

I guess it's just concern trolling to say it so "sad" and kids "wished they weren't so busy". Sure. I know kids who are sad and mad that their parents "don't let them do anything" because they are stuck in after care and miss out or their parents have so many kids they can't afford all the activities and its logistically impossible to get everyone around. But it's none of my business. Never has any kid complained to me that they wished they could just do nothing. Weird that you now so many.

Weird that you think that kids without activities equals doing nothing. And I said I know kids who are forced to do activities they don't want to or are forced to do so much they really don't have much down time at all. That's fine if you don't believe me, but I know these people, and grew up with some of them.

Why do you assume kids are so busy because they do activities? I grew up doing nothing. It sucked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you sign them up for a tennis class together or can they do free swim at a pool a few afternoons a week or in the weekends? The library sometimes has kids book groups if that’s more their speed. At a certain point it seems counter productive to force activities.

My youngest was happiest doing things with me and family members. We would go play tennis. I taught her. You don’t need lessons unless you want to be competitive. We went swimming together in our smallish pool and I did endless swimming laps to see who’s faster. Weekends we would do activities together.

At 11 yrs old she found that she really likes basketball and plays about 4x week and will go to basketball camps for 4 weeks. She started walking with her friend after school to the park.

There’s no need to worry if they’re happy. Give them time to see what they enjoy as they get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m honestly curious to if the activity pushers (“so they can do new things and meet new
People”) also do this for themselves, or is it for kids only?

I know how to swim, play tennis, play softball, play guitar, multiple languages, classic embroidery, basic hand and machine sewing, drawing and basic sculpture, jewelry beading, robotics and computer assembly. Started to learn most of these in elementary and middle school. Kept up with some in HS and college. And as an adult with ES kids i play tennis with a friend, take craft classes etc in the time i have outside work and family obligations.

Being a jack of all trades with activities doesn't mean the kids are happy and like it. If you did, that's great, but not all kids do.

What's not to like? Not sure what you're so worried about here. A kid might try tennis and decide it's not for them? So what?

Every kid is different. I know kids that were made to do too many activities that they didn't like. They hated to be so busy and just time to be kids. They would have preferred to do one or two activities that they actually wanted. Yes, I know this as I'm still good friends with most of them. Their parents did listen to them.

I'm not worried in the least. There is no such thing as "just time to be a kid" anymore. All the other kids are busy too. This is what being a kid is today. You can buck that trend all you like but your kid will be sitting home alone doing it.

It's really a shame parents don't see anything wrong with that. I feel bad for kids today.

No, I don't see anything wrong with it. My kids are happy and have found things they enjoy doing. I'm not sure they would be far happier spending more time alone at home playing board games.

NP. Sitting at home playing board games…alone?

Without friends. Or maybe you can sit there and play board games with your kids all afternoon? Whatever floats your boat.

This why it's sad, it's hard to find other kids around.

Because they are all out doing things. In your imagination they all hate it and aren't having fun. But, how would you really know?

Just because they aren't in sports doesn't mean they can't do things. And you've really never met a kid who was made to do activities that they didn't want to do or wished that they weren't so busy? That seems unlikely

Nope. How about you worry about your own kid instead of assuming the worst about others or assuming they are all unhappy.

I wasn't worrying at all. I'm simply participating in this thread.

I guess it's just concern trolling to say it so "sad" and kids "wished they weren't so busy". Sure. I know kids who are sad and mad that their parents "don't let them do anything" because they are stuck in after care and miss out or their parents have so many kids they can't afford all the activities and its logistically impossible to get everyone around. But it's none of my business. Never has any kid complained to me that they wished they could just do nothing. Weird that you now so many.

Weird that you think that kids without activities equals doing nothing. And I said I know kids who are forced to do activities they don't want to or are forced to do so much they really don't have much down time at all. That's fine if you don't believe me, but I know these people, and grew up with some of them.

Why do you assume kids are so busy because they do activities? I grew up doing nothing. It sucked.

It sucks in high school. Right now they are content with their days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m honestly curious to if the activity pushers (“so they can do new things and meet new
People”) also do this for themselves, or is it for kids only?

I know how to swim, play tennis, play softball, play guitar, multiple languages, classic embroidery, basic hand and machine sewing, drawing and basic sculpture, jewelry beading, robotics and computer assembly. Started to learn most of these in elementary and middle school. Kept up with some in HS and college. And as an adult with ES kids i play tennis with a friend, take craft classes etc in the time i have outside work and family obligations.

Being a jack of all trades with activities doesn't mean the kids are happy and like it. If you did, that's great, but not all kids do.

What's not to like? Not sure what you're so worried about here. A kid might try tennis and decide it's not for them? So what?

Every kid is different. I know kids that were made to do too many activities that they didn't like. They hated to be so busy and just time to be kids. They would have preferred to do one or two activities that they actually wanted. Yes, I know this as I'm still good friends with most of them. Their parents did listen to them.

I'm not worried in the least. There is no such thing as "just time to be a kid" anymore. All the other kids are busy too. This is what being a kid is today. You can buck that trend all you like but your kid will be sitting home alone doing it.

It's really a shame parents don't see anything wrong with that. I feel bad for kids today.

No, I don't see anything wrong with it. My kids are happy and have found things they enjoy doing. I'm not sure they would be far happier spending more time alone at home playing board games.

NP. Sitting at home playing board games…alone?

Without friends. Or maybe you can sit there and play board games with your kids all afternoon? Whatever floats your boat.

This why it's sad, it's hard to find other kids around.

Because they are all out doing things. In your imagination they all hate it and aren't having fun. But, how would you really know?

Just because they aren't in sports doesn't mean they can't do things. And you've really never met a kid who was made to do activities that they didn't want to do or wished that they weren't so busy? That seems unlikely

Nope. How about you worry about your own kid instead of assuming the worst about others or assuming they are all unhappy.

I wasn't worrying at all. I'm simply participating in this thread.

I guess it's just concern trolling to say it so "sad" and kids "wished they weren't so busy". Sure. I know kids who are sad and mad that their parents "don't let them do anything" because they are stuck in after care and miss out or their parents have so many kids they can't afford all the activities and its logistically impossible to get everyone around. But it's none of my business. Never has any kid complained to me that they wished they could just do nothing. Weird that you now so many.

Weird that you think that kids without activities equals doing nothing. And I said I know kids who are forced to do activities they don't want to or are forced to do so much they really don't have much down time at all. That's fine if you don't believe me, but I know these people, and grew up with some of them.

Why do you assume kids are so busy because they do activities? I grew up doing nothing. It sucked.

Because parents are trying to constantly keep kids busy. They do it with activities. I'm sorry you feel your childhood was lacking, but that's not all kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m honestly curious to if the activity pushers (“so they can do new things and meet new
People”) also do this for themselves, or is it for kids only?

I know how to swim, play tennis, play softball, play guitar, multiple languages, classic embroidery, basic hand and machine sewing, drawing and basic sculpture, jewelry beading, robotics and computer assembly. Started to learn most of these in elementary and middle school. Kept up with some in HS and college. And as an adult with ES kids i play tennis with a friend, take craft classes etc in the time i have outside work and family obligations.

Being a jack of all trades with activities doesn't mean the kids are happy and like it. If you did, that's great, but not all kids do.

What's not to like? Not sure what you're so worried about here. A kid might try tennis and decide it's not for them? So what?

Every kid is different. I know kids that were made to do too many activities that they didn't like. They hated to be so busy and just time to be kids. They would have preferred to do one or two activities that they actually wanted. Yes, I know this as I'm still good friends with most of them. Their parents did listen to them.

I'm not worried in the least. There is no such thing as "just time to be a kid" anymore. All the other kids are busy too. This is what being a kid is today. You can buck that trend all you like but your kid will be sitting home alone doing it.

It's really a shame parents don't see anything wrong with that. I feel bad for kids today.

No, I don't see anything wrong with it. My kids are happy and have found things they enjoy doing. I'm not sure they would be far happier spending more time alone at home playing board games.

NP. Sitting at home playing board games…alone?

Without friends. Or maybe you can sit there and play board games with your kids all afternoon? Whatever floats your boat.

This why it's sad, it's hard to find other kids around.

Because they are all out doing things. In your imagination they all hate it and aren't having fun. But, how would you really know?

Just because they aren't in sports doesn't mean they can't do things. And you've really never met a kid who was made to do activities that they didn't want to do or wished that they weren't so busy? That seems unlikely

Nope. How about you worry about your own kid instead of assuming the worst about others or assuming they are all unhappy.

I wasn't worrying at all. I'm simply participating in this thread.

I guess it's just concern trolling to say it so "sad" and kids "wished they weren't so busy". Sure. I know kids who are sad and mad that their parents "don't let them do anything" because they are stuck in after care and miss out or their parents have so many kids they can't afford all the activities and its logistically impossible to get everyone around. But it's none of my business. Never has any kid complained to me that they wished they could just do nothing. Weird that you now so many.

Weird that you think that kids without activities equals doing nothing. And I said I know kids who are forced to do activities they don't want to or are forced to do so much they really don't have much down time at all. That's fine if you don't believe me, but I know these people, and grew up with some of them.

Why do you assume kids are so busy because they do activities? I grew up doing nothing. It sucked.

Because parents are trying to constantly keep kids busy. They do it with activities. I'm sorry you feel your childhood was lacking, but that's not all kids.

Constantly? I think that’s an exaggeration. All kids are not over-scheduled and stressed out. Bit apparently if they aren’t at home relaxing all the time they are worthy of pity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like at least half of kids doing extracurriculars would be overjoyed if they were allowed to quit and just play with their siblings

+1
OP you don't want to get caught up in the overscheduled kid rat race. Sign your kids up for a short duration activity/class they can do together if you can find one. Cherish the time they spend playing together because it might not last.

[Anonymous]

Ah look, the parens of overscheduled only-children are out in force.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids with different interests and friends. I wish they would want to stay home and play with one another. I have two boys and a girl. Older 2 boys play multiple sports. My daughter is the youngest and also doesn’t love sports. She does love dance and Girl Scouts. I have the opposite problem- my daughter wants to sign up for everything.

I personally would make each girl pick and do something whether it is an instrument, dance, art, etc. if anything, I would make both girls learn to swim.