Cling on female best friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound really insecure OP.

The dinner thing is weird, why do you feel the need to chaperone?

It’s not about chaperoning it’s that another woman is inviting my husband out and telling him not to bring his wife which is suspect.

I know it’s not a popular opinion to have but there is a difference in boundaries between a straight guy having a female friend and the nature of friendship between 2 guys friends.

I usually think after marriage and you start forming your own family those opposite sex friendships usually dwindle down.

It's your DH's responsibility to set boundaries that support HIS marriage. You may have a legitimate issue with HIS relationship with his female friend but it is your DH that owes you something. Why aren't you holding him accountable for HIS behavior instead of a woman who owes you nothing?

You have a DH problem.

+1

+1

When my best guy friend got married, he got into the habit of calling me a few times to ask me about things she did and if I did them too.

I told him to stop playing the comparison game and love her and ask her these questions, not me, if he wants to stay married.

He hasn’t called or texted me about her since and has only contacted me a few times about unrelated things after that.

I sent him a happy birthday text and he didn’t text back.

That’s how grown ups navigate this stuff. I miss his friendship but I didn’t want to be a sexual relationship with him, so I don’t get that, either. It’s ok. I never want his wife to feel threatened by our friendship.

This is how to do it. Make it clear that the marriage has effectively ended the friendship. Birthdays and Christmas greetings *at most*.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound really insecure OP.

The dinner thing is weird, why do you feel the need to chaperone?

It’s not about chaperoning it’s that another woman is inviting my husband out and telling him not to bring his wife which is suspect.

I know it’s not a popular opinion to have but there is a difference in boundaries between a straight guy having a female friend and the nature of friendship between 2 guys friends.

I usually think after marriage and you start forming your own family those opposite sex friendships usually dwindle down.

It's your DH's responsibility to set boundaries that support HIS marriage. You may have a legitimate issue with HIS relationship with his female friend but it is your DH that owes you something. Why aren't you holding him accountable for HIS behavior instead of a woman who owes you nothing?

You have a DH problem.

+1

+1

When my best guy friend got married, he got into the habit of calling me a few times to ask me about things she did and if I did them too.

I told him to stop playing the comparison game and love her and ask her these questions, not me, if he wants to stay married.

He hasn’t called or texted me about her since and has only contacted me a few times about unrelated things after that.

I sent him a happy birthday text and he didn’t text back.

That’s how grown ups navigate this stuff. I miss his friendship but I didn’t want to be a sexual relationship with him, so I don’t get that, either. It’s ok. I never want his wife to feel threatened by our friendship.

This is how to do it. Make it clear that the marriage has effectively ended the friendship. Birthdays and Christmas greetings *at most*.

Changed, not ended.

Boundaries have to go up if the spouse feels threatened.

My DH never did so he didn’t care. His wife is more the jealous type but that’s ok. He chose her, so he gets to figure that out. I’m not helping!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would care if my husband started suddenly going out with a new female friend. Even if it wasn't physical, I would call that an emotional affair.

What is your DH really getting out of this relationship? My DH's friends became my friends and vice versa. They wouldn't care if we both showed up for dinner. We're all coupled though.

Yeah that’s what gets me is his friend makes no effort with me as his wife. And then acts annoyed when I do make an effort and go to dinner with them and then she acts all annoyed and bothered by it.

If she didn’t care it wouldn’t piss me off near as much but the fact she finds it weird that his own wife comes to eat dinner with him is what is odd to me.

I think it’s odd she is shutting me out and keeping DH exclusively all to herself showing no interest in getting to know me or include me as the most important woman in DH’s life.

Or maybe she feels you're being jealous and controlling, and trying to end her long term friendship? Maybe air the grievance with her directly and try to find a path forward where you can all be friends. But you don't sound like YOU are acknowledging your role in this. Your posts drip with jealousy, controlling, and contempt for her. You think she doesn't pick up on that too?

Maybe if she respected our marriage and my role in my husbands life a little bit more I wouldn’t push so hard.

Marriage over friendship with another woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would care if my husband started suddenly going out with a new female friend. Even if it wasn't physical, I would call that an emotional affair.

What is your DH really getting out of this relationship? My DH's friends became my friends and vice versa. They wouldn't care if we both showed up for dinner. We're all coupled though.

Yeah that’s what gets me is his friend makes no effort with me as his wife. And then acts annoyed when I do make an effort and go to dinner with them and then she acts all annoyed and bothered by it.

If she didn’t care it wouldn’t piss me off near as much but the fact she finds it weird that his own wife comes to eat dinner with him is what is odd to me.

I think it’s odd she is shutting me out and keeping DH exclusively all to herself showing no interest in getting to know me or include me as the most important woman in DH’s life.

Or maybe she feels you're being jealous and controlling, and trying to end her long term friendship? Maybe air the grievance with her directly and try to find a path forward where you can all be friends. But you don't sound like YOU are acknowledging your role in this. Your posts drip with jealousy, controlling, and contempt for her. You think she doesn't pick up on that too?

Maybe if she respected our marriage and my role in my husbands life a little bit more I wouldn’t push so hard.

Marriage over friendship with another woman

Tell it to your husband.

[Anonymous]

SOEXCITED 123 has been here!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound really insecure OP.

The dinner thing is weird, why do you feel the need to chaperone?

It’s not about chaperoning it’s that another woman is inviting my husband out and telling him not to bring his wife which is suspect.

I know it’s not a popular opinion to have but there is a difference in boundaries between a straight guy having a female friend and the nature of friendship between 2 guys friends.

I usually think after marriage and you start forming your own family those opposite sex friendships usually dwindle down.

You're delusional and insecure.

[jsteele]

This is really a continuation of this thread:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192449.page

Probably one thread is enough.