Cling on female best friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny how OP hasn’t responded to the vast majority of posts saying this is a DH problem.

Guessing this woman (is she actually an adult?) has had drama with women her entire life. She’s the “I’ve always gotten along better with boys!” and “Women are always jealous of me!” type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound really insecure OP.

The dinner thing is weird, why do you feel the need to chaperone?

It’s not about chaperoning it’s that another woman is inviting my husband out and telling him not to bring his wife which is suspect.

I know it’s not a popular opinion to have but there is a difference in boundaries between a straight guy having a female friend and the nature of friendship between 2 guys friends.

I usually think after marriage and you start forming your own family those opposite sex friendships usually dwindle down.

You sound old fashioned and insecure. He can have whatever flavor friends he wants. Just because she has the same parts as you does not mean that he wants to use hers instead of yours!

I had a male friend who I had rejected romantically long ago. We remained friends. It was hilarious to me that his GF was so jealous, because she was settling for someone I had NO interest in.

OP-if they did not get together when they were both single, why would they now that he is married?

Calm down, and establish your own relationships beyond your husband. It is healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friends are 3 guys. We have been friends for over 20 years. I would have had a very big problem if my DH told me I had to “dwindle down” these relationships.

I’m not telling him not to be friends with her. Maybe I wasn’t clear on that part. Just not act like a pseudo bf and be her emotional support every time something bad happens to her.

He is a married man I’m just not sure why she is leaning on a married man instead of one of her girlfriends or family members.

His own sister doesn’t even act like this towards him but if she did it would make total sense after all it would be his own sister!

Friends support each other through hard times.

WHY do you insist that she can only seek support from someone of the same gender.

You have a hangup on that. Try therapy.

[Anonymous]

I would care if my husband started suddenly going out with a new female friend. Even if it wasn't physical, I would call that an emotional affair.

What is your DH really getting out of this relationship? My DH's friends became my friends and vice versa. They wouldn't care if we both showed up for dinner. We're all coupled though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin off of the Dear MIL thread but it’s aimed towards the dreadful female bestie that thinks your husband is her pseudo boyfriend.

Dear Female Bestie:

I understand you have been friends with my husband since before I knew him but he is a married man and therefore I’m sorry but your friendship with him is going to always come secondary to our marriage as we made vows to each other so please stop pouting to him how he is changed now that he is a married man as if you didn’t expect him to put his wife before you. After all he made vows to me not to you. And you are a friend at the end of the day I’m his wife.

My husband is not your personal therapy to call up and vent to whenever you go through your probably 12th million break up and he isn’t your fill in pseudo boyfriend when you are single. That’s what your other girlfriends are for and your family members.

You ask him to meet you for dinner then when he naturally shows up with me his wife you act rude and don’t even so much as glance in my direction and you wonder why I’m not keen on you.

Please stop asking a married man to hangout with you alone it’s weird. You aren’t his sister, his mother, or any other female relative of his why do you expect to get exclusive access to another woman’s husband.

Wow. You are beyond insecure. It’s creepy and your rant sounds desperate. I’m married and don’t mind at all when my DH meets a female friend for dinner (actually, now that I think about it, he met one for lunch on Friday). I certainly wouldn’t go. And several years ago I met a male friend for dinner because I was traveling, and in his town, and he showed up with his wife unexpectedly—and he apologized for it later, and we actually laughed about her acting jealous and insecure.

That's inappropriate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny how OP hasn’t responded to the vast majority of posts saying this is a DH problem.

Guessing this woman (is she actually an adult?) has had drama with women her entire life. She’s the “I’ve always gotten along better with boys!” and “Women are always jealous of me!” type.

She seems like the opposite of that type…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a number of married male friends. I've known them for between 15 and 30 years. I spend plenty of time alone with them - dinners, lunches, coffees, occasional drinks - all platonic and all but one of their wives knows and doesn't care.

Now, I suspect one of the wives doesn't know. Her husband isn't sleeping with me but she has plenty of reason not to trust him. OP, if your husband is open about the time he spends with his friend, that's a good sign it's noting to worry about.

Umm why are you hanging out with this dude if he is keeping this a secret from his wife? I don’t care if you don’t know her it’s still a shitty thing to do to another woman.

+1. I'm not someone who polices friends. I have male friends and DH has female friends, whatever, but a couple of the defenders in this thread engage in shitty behavior with their besties, and the want to gaslight and act surprised when some people question these type of friendships

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My best friends are 3 guys. We have been friends for over 20 years. I would have had a very big problem if my DH told me I had to “dwindle down” these relationships.

I’m not telling him not to be friends with her. Maybe I wasn’t clear on that part. Just not act like a pseudo bf and be her emotional support every time something bad happens to her.

He is a married man I’m just not sure why she is leaning on a married man instead of one of her girlfriends or family members.

His own sister doesn’t even act like this towards him but if she did it would make total sense after all it would be his own sister!

Friends support each other through hard times.

WHY do you insist that she can only seek support from someone of the same gender.

You have a hangup on that. Try therapy.

This is only partly true and you know it. I get so tired of seeing this type of disingenuous crap just another ill of social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s weird that you showed up to their dinner.

It’s weird that a wife would need an invite to attend dinner with her own husband and another woman.

Usually in the evenings it’s assumed husband and wife would dine together?

They are a married couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All fine except the last paragraph which is way over the line.

How is the last paragraph over the line?

Point blank once a man (again referring to in a heterosexual relationship) is married another woman that’s not his relative (mother,sister, grandma etc) shouldn’t be asking him to not bring his wife because if it’s on the up and up why can’t she come?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friends are 3 guys. We have been friends for over 20 years. I would have had a very big problem if my DH told me I had to “dwindle down” these relationships.

Sure, but do they get upset if your husband shows up to events with you? (not OP)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All fine except the last paragraph which is way over the line.

How is the last paragraph over the line?

Point blank once a man (again referring to in a heterosexual relationship) is married another woman that’s not his relative (mother,sister, grandma etc) shouldn’t be asking him to not bring his wife because if it’s on the up and up why can’t she come?

Agree. I suspect this friend likes her husband and is upset he married someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s weird that you showed up to their dinner.

I don’t think that’s weird, but I do think it’s weird that when accepting the invite her dh didn’t say to his friend that he was bringing his wife. I think he’s playing games. It’s his job to make his wife feel secure about his relationship with his friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin off of the Dear MIL thread but it’s aimed towards the dreadful female bestie that thinks your husband is her pseudo boyfriend.

Dear Female Bestie:

I understand you have been friends with my husband since before I knew him but he is a married man and therefore I’m sorry but your friendship with him is going to always come secondary to our marriage as we made vows to each other so please stop pouting to him how he is changed now that he is a married man as if you didn’t expect him to put his wife before you. After all he made vows to me not to you. And you are a friend at the end of the day I’m his wife.

My husband is not your personal therapy to call up and vent to whenever you go through your probably 12th million break up and he isn’t your fill in pseudo boyfriend when you are single. That’s what your other girlfriends are for and your family members.

You ask him to meet you for dinner then when he naturally shows up with me his wife you act rude and don’t even so much as glance in my direction and you wonder why I’m not keen on you.

Please stop asking a married man to hangout with you alone it’s weird. You aren’t his sister, his mother, or any other female relative of his why do you expect to get exclusive access to another woman’s husband.

Wow. You are beyond insecure. It’s creepy and your rant sounds desperate. I’m married and don’t mind at all when my DH meets a female friend for dinner (actually, now that I think about it, he met one for lunch on Friday). I certainly wouldn’t go. And several years ago I met a male friend for dinner because I was traveling, and in his town, and he showed up with his wife unexpectedly—and he apologized for it later, and we actually laughed about her acting jealous and insecure.

The weirder part of this is why would he not want his wife there? And you guys had a laugh at her expense.

The dude sounds like such a dick laughing about his wife with another woman.

Dollars to donuts his wife came because he has been shady towards other woman with her in the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny how OP hasn’t responded to the vast majority of posts saying this is a DH problem.

Guessing this woman (is she actually an adult?) has had drama with women her entire life. She’s the “I’ve always gotten along better with boys!” and “Women are always jealous of me!” type.

She seems like the opposite of that type…

Way to sock puppet, OP.