Cling on female best friend

[Anonymous]

This is a spin off of the Dear MIL thread but it’s aimed towards the dreadful female bestie that thinks your husband is her pseudo boyfriend.

Dear Female Bestie:

I understand you have been friends with my husband since before I knew him but he is a married man and therefore I’m sorry but your friendship with him is going to always come secondary to our marriage as we made vows to each other so please stop pouting to him how he is changed now that he is a married man as if you didn’t expect him to put his wife before you. After all he made vows to me not to you. And you are a friend at the end of the day I’m his wife.

My husband is not your personal therapy to call up and vent to whenever you go through your probably 12th million break up and he isn’t your fill in pseudo boyfriend when you are single. That’s what your other girlfriends are for and your family members.

You ask him to meet you for dinner then when he naturally shows up with me his wife you act rude and don’t even so much as glance in my direction and you wonder why I’m not keen on you.

Please stop asking a married man to hangout with you alone it’s weird. You aren’t his sister, his mother, or any other female relative of his why do you expect to get exclusive access to another woman’s husband.

[Anonymous]

You have a DH problem, not a 'his best friend' problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have a DH problem, not a 'his best friend' problem.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a DH problem, not a 'his best friend' problem.

This.

Yeah . . . . .

[Anonymous]

He secretly likes her

[Anonymous]

How long have they been friends? I would not him expect to cut her off. How old are you? I think it’s different in your late 20s/early 30s and are sort of figuring out growing up and being an adult and boundaries with changing relationships. If you are older I think the situation is more weird.

[Anonymous]

I would not assume if I make dinner plans with someone that they would include their spouse. Your husband should have told her ahead of time. Maybe he likes the drama.

[Anonymous]

You sound really insecure OP.

The dinner thing is weird, why do you feel the need to chaperone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound really insecure OP.

The dinner thing is weird, why do you feel the need to chaperone?

It’s not about chaperoning it’s that another woman is inviting my husband out and telling him not to bring his wife which is suspect.

I know it’s not a popular opinion to have but there is a difference in boundaries between a straight guy having a female friend and the nature of friendship between 2 guys friends.

I usually think after marriage and you start forming your own family those opposite sex friendships usually dwindle down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long have they been friends? I would not him expect to cut her off. How old are you? I think it’s different in your late 20s/early 30s and are sort of figuring out growing up and being an adult and boundaries with changing relationships. If you are older I think the situation is more weird.

How is it different in your 20s and 30s? You are an adult by then

[Anonymous]

This is so weird. Be a grown up. Talk to your husband. Put your foot down. Either you are willing to do something effective to get the marriage you want or you aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound really insecure OP.

The dinner thing is weird, why do you feel the need to chaperone?

It’s not about chaperoning it’s that another woman is inviting my husband out and telling him not to bring his wife which is suspect.

I know it’s not a popular opinion to have but there is a difference in boundaries between a straight guy having a female friend and the nature of friendship between 2 guys friends.

I usually think after marriage and you start forming your own family those opposite sex friendships usually dwindle down.

It's your DH's responsibility to set boundaries that support HIS marriage. You may have a legitimate issue with HIS relationship with his female friend but it is your DH that owes you something. Why aren't you holding him accountable for HIS behavior instead of a woman who owes you nothing?

You have a DH problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound really insecure OP.

The dinner thing is weird, why do you feel the need to chaperone?

It’s not about chaperoning it’s that another woman is inviting my husband out and telling him not to bring his wife which is suspect.

I know it’s not a popular opinion to have but there is a difference in boundaries between a straight guy having a female friend and the nature of friendship between 2 guys friends.

I usually think after marriage and you start forming your own family those opposite sex friendships usually dwindle down.

It's your DH's responsibility to set boundaries that support HIS marriage. You may have a legitimate issue with HIS relationship with his female friend but it is your DH that owes you something. Why aren't you holding him accountable for HIS behavior instead of a woman who owes you nothing?

You have a DH problem.

+1

[Anonymous]

I was kinda of with you until you make it sound like you are afraid to let your husband be alone with a female friend he's know for ages. That is weird? Why can't he have a lunch or a phone call with her where they discuss friend stuff and you are not there? I am married and have several old friends who are men (a couple also married, one not) and I socialize with them 1:1 sometimes. I also socialize with their wives sometimes, and they hang out with my husband sometimes.

Maybe that's the issue. Have you made an effort to become friends with this woman your husband is obviously very close to?

[Anonymous]

My best friends are 3 guys. We have been friends for over 20 years. I would have had a very big problem if my DH told me I had to “dwindle down” these relationships.