Boyfriend asked how I'd feel about dressing sexier

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d wear this with sandals

https://www.thereformation.com/products/valencio-dress/1314996DCY.html?dwvar_1314996DCY_color=DCY

I’m the 10:23 and I love this, it’s just the kind of dress I switched to.

Where do you wear this kind of dress? I'll be honest and say my teenagers wear dresses like this everywhere in the summer, but I don't see adult women wearing them out.

PP, my sun dresses aren’t this short but I like the basic look. I’ll wear it to a casual party or to a nice lunch during the summer. I’m pretty trim, tall and fit so I can make it work.

I'm the one who asked the question because of the length of the dress. Where do you find sundresses that are a bit longer?

I’ve bought a lot of dresses at Light in the Box. They are very inexpensive so after I wear one 2-3 times I donate it. Plenty of styles and colors so it’s always fun. I’ve had a couple that don’t handle early evening sun well as from a certain angle not much stays hidden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would look through all the tops and dresses on Reformation. They are tasteful, form-fitting but not slutty.

Some of those dresses would definitely look slutty on most people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would look through all the tops and dresses on Reformation. They are tasteful, form-fitting but not slutty.

Some of those dresses would definitely look slutty on most people.

Only to those who think Lands End is styli

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d wear this with sandals

https://www.thereformation.com/products/valencio-dress/1314996DCY.html?dwvar_1314996DCY_color=DCY

I’m the 10:23 and I love this, it’s just the kind of dress I switched to.

Where do you wear this kind of dress? I'll be honest and say my teenagers wear dresses like this everywhere in the summer, but I don't see adult women wearing them out.

PP, my sun dresses aren’t this short but I like the basic look. I’ll wear it to a casual party or to a nice lunch during the summer. I’m pretty trim, tall and fit so I can make it work.

I'm the one who asked the question because of the length of the dress. Where do you find sundresses that are a bit longer?

How long?

Is this too short?

https://www.thereformation.com/products/dakota-knit-dress/1315323BLK.html?dwvar_1315323BLK_color=BLK

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you all so much for your suggestions and links and opinions! I am getting rid of every tshirt that I had in high school and everything I got with my mom (save for one tie dye sweatshirt) and about half my flannel pjs.

I'm getting this white top from Zara: https://www.zara.com/us/en/front-bows-top-p02866536.html?v1=345830676
This mock turtleneck from Reformation: https://www.thereformation.com/products/maylee-knit-dress/1313862BLK.html?dwvar_1313862BLK_color=BLK
This Aritizia dress (will go try it on to see if I want the pearl. navy or black: https://www.aritzia.com/us/en/product/spectre-dress/107246.html?dwvar_107246_color=30751

A well-dressed coworker I'm friendly with has agreed to go to Aritzia with me. I'm going to find a plain black t-shirt and a white one, and then will go to Aerie for a couple of new bras and underwear, though I don't really understand the difference between thong and cheeky, but figure as long as it's black that's a step in the right direction. I'm very excited to dress like a 25 yr old and get a couple of really nice things for date nights!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you all so much for your suggestions and links and opinions! I am getting rid of every tshirt that I had in high school and everything I got with my mom (save for one tie dye sweatshirt) and about half my flannel pjs.

I'm getting this white top from Zara: https://www.zara.com/us/en/front-bows-top-p02866536.html?v1=345830676
This mock turtleneck from Reformation: https://www.thereformation.com/products/maylee-knit-dress/1313862BLK.html?dwvar_1313862BLK_color=BLK
This Aritizia dress (will go try it on to see if I want the pearl. navy or black: https://www.aritzia.com/us/en/product/spectre-dress/107246.html?dwvar_107246_color=30751

A well-dressed coworker I'm friendly with has agreed to go to Aritzia with me. I'm going to find a plain black t-shirt and a white one, and then will go to Aerie for a couple of new bras and underwear, though I don't really understand the difference between thong and cheeky, but figure as long as it's black that's a step in the right direction. I'm very excited to dress like a 25 yr old and get a couple of really nice things for date nights!

Op are you actually 25? If so I suggest you get advice elsewhere. This site skews towards moms in their 30s and up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gotta say, I had one boyfriend say this to me in my early 30s. I think I was feeling particularly vulnerable as this was the first relationship after my divorce that was riddled with infidelity. So, I tried it and subsequently felt so demeaned that I tossed the clothes and the guy.

Went back to the way I prefer to dress and do my hair & nails, and a couple of years later met the man of my dreams who -- 20 years later -- still loves me the way I am.

OP, I'd dump this guy if I were you.

Women don’t understand how much men derive status from flaunting a hot girlfriend. If OPs man just wanted her to look sexy for him, he would have asked her to dress up for him in the bedroom or asked her to wear specific items. But he wants to show off his GFs hot bod for other people, not just his own enjoyment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gotta say, I had one boyfriend say this to me in my early 30s. I think I was feeling particularly vulnerable as this was the first relationship after my divorce that was riddled with infidelity. So, I tried it and subsequently felt so demeaned that I tossed the clothes and the guy.

Went back to the way I prefer to dress and do my hair & nails, and a couple of years later met the man of my dreams who -- 20 years later -- still loves me the way I am.

OP, I'd dump this guy if I were you.

Women don’t understand how much men derive status from flaunting a hot girlfriend. If OPs man just wanted her to look sexy for him, he would have asked her to dress up for him in the bedroom or asked her to wear specific items. But he wants to show off his GFs hot bod for other people, not just his own enjoyment.

I would never want to be with a man like OP’s partner. Not all men are like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=854782012&cid=13658&pcid=13658&vid=1&nav=hamnav%3AWomen%3ACategories%3ADresses&cpos=3&cexp=2859&kcid=CategoryIDs%3D13658&cvar=25411&ctype=Listing&cpid=res24031405824799505446478&ccam=31678#pdp-page-content

This would be sexy if you have a great body, which it sounds like you do

https://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=404556002&cid=13658&pcid=13658&vid=1&nav=hamnav%3AWomen%3ACategories%3ADresses&cpos=11&cexp=2859&kcid=CategoryIDs%3D13658&ctype=Listing&cpid=res24031405824799505446478&ccam=31678#pdp-page-content

And this is cute.

https://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=431154012&cid=13658&pcid=13658&vid=1&nav=hamnav%3AWomen%3ACategories%3ADresses&cpos=15&cexp=2859&kcid=CategoryIDs%3D13658&cvar=25411&ctype=Listing&cpid=res24031405824799505446478&ccam=31678#pdp-page-content

Both cute and sexy. Opinions of a middle aged woman.

None of these are sexy at ALL. The last one might be a little cute.

Agreed. This gap stuff is dumpy. Now those Zara links and Reformation links are going in the right direction. I have that Zara box pleat skirt, and it is very sexy. If you have great legs it can be dressed up or down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you all so much for your suggestions and links and opinions! I am getting rid of every tshirt that I had in high school and everything I got with my mom (save for one tie dye sweatshirt) and about half my flannel pjs.

I'm getting this white top from Zara: https://www.zara.com/us/en/front-bows-top-p02866536.html?v1=345830676
This mock turtleneck from Reformation: https://www.thereformation.com/products/maylee-knit-dress/1313862BLK.html?dwvar_1313862BLK_color=BLK
This Aritizia dress (will go try it on to see if I want the pearl. navy or black: https://www.aritzia.com/us/en/product/spectre-dress/107246.html?dwvar_107246_color=30751

A well-dressed coworker I'm friendly with has agreed to go to Aritzia with me. I'm going to find a plain black t-shirt and a white one, and then will go to Aerie for a couple of new bras and underwear, though I don't really understand the difference between thong and cheeky, but figure as long as it's black that's a step in the right direction. I'm very excited to dress like a 25 yr old and get a couple of really nice things for date nights!

Side note Aritzia is over priced for the quality and Zara is pretty much the same. They are only meant for one season. But I do think both stores are good for easing into a sexier look.

As far as those folks saying this is concerning behavior from your guy, only you know him. But it doesn’t seem very controlling to me, I agree that some men like to see their lady look good, especially if the outfit seems like it would be sexy to take off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you all so much for your suggestions and links and opinions! I am getting rid of every tshirt that I had in high school and everything I got with my mom (save for one tie dye sweatshirt) and about half my flannel pjs.

I'm getting this white top from Zara: https://www.zara.com/us/en/front-bows-top-p02866536.html?v1=345830676
This mock turtleneck from Reformation: https://www.thereformation.com/products/maylee-knit-dress/1313862BLK.html?dwvar_1313862BLK_color=BLK
This Aritizia dress (will go try it on to see if I want the pearl. navy or black: https://www.aritzia.com/us/en/product/spectre-dress/107246.html?dwvar_107246_color=30751

A well-dressed coworker I'm friendly with has agreed to go to Aritzia with me. I'm going to find a plain black t-shirt and a white one, and then will go to Aerie for a couple of new bras and underwear, though I don't really understand the difference between thong and cheeky, but figure as long as it's black that's a step in the right direction. I'm very excited to dress like a 25 yr old and get a couple of really nice things for date nights!

Great job and I’m super excited for you. I’m glad you found someone IRL that can help you.

Once you try a few things out you’ll realize what you like to wear, what comfortable, what fits your personality etc.

Fashion can be fun, but it’s nice to have help when it’s not your thing.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

You should follow this influencer for ideas

https://indybelle.com/?fbclid=PAAaaOhyabdhhsZSz3WgKXRYpFZJkR5uDhIcF5lBu4D9AADHzZpx9fGHzAdW0_aem_ASrMAdwOYNQTK98-CwwBmMdSY_ParDbYTrV4kpUJ50Ozkq3YAWqNkewy2FIZ7taepI0

[Anonymous]

OP, my DD is 25 and said she needed some clothes for going out and "date nights." She sounds a lot like you (athletic, usually wears jeans and likes to be comfortable) and liked these:

https://www.madewell.com/basketweave-stitch-vest-NN249.html

https://www.thereformation.com/products/zora-knit-top/1314459BLK.html?dwvar_1314459BLK_color=BLK&_gl=1*1cm9jbf*_up*MQ..&gclid=CjwKCAjw48-
vBhBbEiwAzqrZVFXPjoIMaq06ZxILuVpuf_Bf8R8N_a3YRvKwtd1nHiOcVkx5BZbMYhoCH_sQAvD_BwE

https://www.thereformation.com/products/lucinda-silk-top/1314411BLK.html?dwvar_1314411BLK_color=BLK&_gl=1*1bo233q*_up*MQ..&gclid=CjwKCAjw48-vBhBbEiwAzqrZVFXPjoIMaq06ZxILuVpuf_Bf8R8N_a3YRvKwtd1nHiOcVkx5BZbMYhoCH_sQAvD_BwE

https://www.thereformation.com/products/mya-dress/1312197ELE.html?dwvar_1312197ELE_color=ELE&_gl=1*p6sa0r*_up*MQ..&gclid=CjwKCAjw48-vBhBbEiwAzqrZVFXPjoIMaq06ZxILuVpuf_Bf8R8N_a3YRvKwtd1nHiOcVkx5BZbMYhoCH_sQAvD_BwE

And these for summer:
https://www.thereformation.com/products/aubree-linen-dress/1310229STC.html?dwvar_1310229STC_color=RES&quantity=1

https://www.madewell.com/scoopneck-crop-tank-in-100-linen-NP015.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you all so much for your suggestions and links and opinions! I am getting rid of every tshirt that I had in high school and everything I got with my mom (save for one tie dye sweatshirt) and about half my flannel pjs.

I'm getting this white top from Zara: https://www.zara.com/us/en/front-bows-top-p02866536.html?v1=345830676
This mock turtleneck from Reformation: https://www.thereformation.com/products/maylee-knit-dress/1313862BLK.html?dwvar_1313862BLK_color=BLK
This Aritizia dress (will go try it on to see if I want the pearl. navy or black: https://www.aritzia.com/us/en/product/spectre-dress/107246.html?dwvar_107246_color=30751

A well-dressed coworker I'm friendly with has agreed to go to Aritzia with me. I'm going to find a plain black t-shirt and a white one, and then will go to Aerie for a couple of new bras and underwear, though I don't really understand the difference between thong and cheeky, but figure as long as it's black that's a step in the right direction. I'm very excited to dress like a 25 yr old and get a couple of really nice things for date nights!

OP, be sure you're doing this because you would like to get of these clothes and not because your BF would like you to get rid of these clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you all so much for your suggestions and links and opinions! I am getting rid of every tshirt that I had in high school and everything I got with my mom (save for one tie dye sweatshirt) and about half my flannel pjs.

I'm getting this white top from Zara: https://www.zara.com/us/en/front-bows-top-p02866536.html?v1=345830676
This mock turtleneck from Reformation: https://www.thereformation.com/products/maylee-knit-dress/1313862BLK.html?dwvar_1313862BLK_color=BLK
This Aritizia dress (will go try it on to see if I want the pearl. navy or black: https://www.aritzia.com/us/en/product/spectre-dress/107246.html?dwvar_107246_color=30751

A well-dressed coworker I'm friendly with has agreed to go to Aritzia with me. I'm going to find a plain black t-shirt and a white one, and then will go to Aerie for a couple of new bras and underwear, though I don't really understand the difference between thong and cheeky, but figure as long as it's black that's a step in the right direction. I'm very excited to dress like a 25 yr old and get a couple of really nice things for date nights!

OP, be sure you're doing this because you would like to get of these clothes and not because your BF would like you to get rid of these clothes.

This was the push I needed, but they need to go. Some have holes in the armpits, some have cats or cute sayings (or both!) on them or like, which Hogwarts house to live in, or other ridiculous things. It's definitely time. Some of my flannel pjs have bunnies wearing flip flops on them. Thank you for checking on me. It's for sure time to level up and have grownup clothes. In April I want to get some pjs with piping, kind of like this: https://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=663803002&cid=29504&pcid=29504&vid=1&nav=meganav%3AWomen%3ACategories%3APajamas%20%26%20Loungewear&cpos=16&cexp=2859&kcid=CategoryIDs%3D29504&cvar=25399&ctype=Listing&cpid=res24031515840413974058075&ccam=31799#pdp-page-content

I haven't figured out summer pjs yet but will take my time since revamping almost an entire wardrobe is not a one-paycheck event.