DD is unhappy at her private and wants to do virtual school for two months before switching schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DD has nine more weeks of school and I think she can stick it out for that period of time. Neither going to virtual school nor switching to public school for only two months is a good idea.

I agree, OP. Please continue to support her and monitor for signs of psychological distress. I think that staying and developing tools to deal with that type of low-level hostility will build her mental resilience and serve her well in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is bullying. Would you say someone being assaulted should stick it out. In no other part of society do we make the target face the person assaulting them.

.

We do, in the workplace. People do their best to find a new job before they leave the old one. And we do, before divorce: we need to get our affairs in order, think about the kids, etc.

This comment is ridiculous. A bad boss or a bad spouse is not the same as a spouse assaulting their significant other or a boss abusing their employee. If a spouse was abusive, we have shelters and police. If a boss or co worker is abusing someone, we have police. no one would say stick it out while they abuse you because of x or y. Even if kids are involved or one does not have another job. This is why we have whistleblowers laws. Bad friends maybe but bullying is not just a bad friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I would let her. I was bullied and it was hell on earth. I would not let my child stay someplace where she was that miserable. Mental health matters. Years from now she won’t remember the bit of the curriculum she missed, but she will remember that her happiness was important to you.

This. And ignore all the blame the victim responses on here. As someone who was bullied two months is a long time. Find out what you can about virtual school and pull her out now.

Agreed. “Victim” could be “target” because victim may imply wrong place at the wrong time but the kid is just going to school where they should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: DD is a freshman at a small K-12 private school. She started at this school in seventh grade. I should start by saying that prior to her starting at this school and being bullied, she went to a public from K-6 and never had difficulty making friends.

She was bullied in eighth grade and due to the bullying, it has been hard for her to find a group of good, non-toxic friends. She wanted to switch schools last year but was not accepted at the private schools she applied to. Our local public has a reputation for being a bad school according to all the families we have spoken to. We thought this year would be different for her and luckily, her first semester of high school was a mostly positive experience. She found what she thought were two good groups of friends, but the two groups merged, and they all went to winter formal as a group without telling her. Now, that group talks about her behind her back. She is very lonely.

Lunch is very stressful for her. She will sit down with her fake friends who will not include her in their conversations. It is very obvious they do not want to sit with her, but she literally has no other options. She got accepted into a private school this year and will be attending in the fall. I think she will have a positive experience as it is a much larger school and many kids that she already knows from our neighborhood attend this school.

What she is worried about is how she is going to survive the next two months at her insular private. It is March and most of the other kids have already formed their friend groups. She does not want to sit by herself at lunch. We reached out to the counselor last year when she was being bullied but the counselor was very ineffective, and my DD does not want to talk to her again. According to other parents we have spoken to, she is not a good counselor.

DD wants to try virtual school, but she only has two more months. I don't think it is a very good plan, but I am worried it is her only option. She is very unhappy. What do you all think about virtual school?

Unless she is being physically or emotionally abused, she should stay where she is. Put her in therapy, don't pull her from school. There also is no such thing as a geographic cure! Wherever you go, there you are!

[Anonymous]

I would let her do virtual school if it would work out. Going to a small private school and being constantly bullied is awful, as I know first hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get her out of private school.
This is on you.

You failed. Move her now to public.

And stay there.

You think public would be better?

Not pp but - Yes. At minimum they would provide the option of the library or certain teachers classrooms to eat lunch in. Because they have to deal with kids with emotional and behavior issues public schools usually have plenty of workarounds for kids to reduce stress. My kids public middle school has a freaking therapy dog and would never respond like that. That response from the private school was just gross, and is why privates are often little bubbles of entitled a holes.

[Anonymous]

OP - does your daughter have any teachers she particularly likes, who seem extra caring? I’d teach out to a teacher like this and ask if they are aware of other lunch options and explain what’s going on. Some teachers allow kids to eat in their classroom - I feel like there are probably some options like this it’s just the principal doesn’t care to know about them (maybe bc hw would discourage them?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe let her finish the year at public school? Public schools provide so many more options for kids to find friends due to their sheer size. Your public school might not be the ‘best’ school on paper, it could be the better school for umpires child and provide a fresh start.

This is what I would recommend. Let her finish at the local public school where she probably knows a few kids from the neighborhood. Then start at her new private in the fall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DD has nine more weeks of school and I think she can stick it out for that period of time. Neither going to virtual school nor switching to public school for only two months is a good idea.

Then why did you ask?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DD has nine more weeks of school and I think she can stick it out for that period of time. Neither going to virtual school nor switching to public school for only two months is a good idea.

Then why did you ask?

To get opinions and see what other people in similar situations have done? That’s the entire point of this website.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't parents of girls teach their daughters to not be such a$$holes? Damn. This has been the case since I was in HS and nothing has changed.

It's such a shame you all cannot teach your girls to be kind and inclusive.

Look at how adults act (on this forum). Look at how "our leaders" act, e.g., mocking people with disabilities, etc.

Does anyone really have to ask, "why don't parents teach their children to be kind"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't parents of girls teach their daughters to not be such a$$holes? Damn. This has been the case since I was in HS and nothing has changed.

It's such a shame you all cannot teach your girls to be kind and inclusive.

Look at how adults act (on this forum). Look at how "our leaders" act, e.g., mocking people with disabilities, etc.

Does anyone really have to ask, "why don't parents teach their children to be kind"?

This. Starts in the home. Directly or indirectly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DD has nine more weeks of school and I think she can stick it out for that period of time. Neither going to virtual school nor switching to public school for only two months is a good idea.

Then why did you ask?

To get opinions and see what other people in similar situations have done? That’s the entire point of this website.

Ignore the troll, OP.