DD becoming too materialistic

[Anonymous]

DD is the same, it's social media and peer influence and I kind of hate it. We tell her to put it on her Christmas or birthday list. DH and I will get her one expensive thing on either occasion and that's it. Last Christmas, her other family members got her things off the list. I warned her it may happen if she didn't also include some reasonably priced stuff as well. I think lesson learned? I try not to feed into it and remind her that these are just things, she has everything she "needs"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kid: I want $150 pjs.
Me: great, put them on your birthday wish list

Same. Usually I’d say something like, if you still want them by your birthday, add it to the list.

I was shocked to read about the $150 a month clothing allowance. I can’t imagine giving my kid $1800 a year for clothes.

That's because $180/month (it was $150 + $30 "regular" allowance) is a shocking amount of money to hand to a 12-year-old every month. WTF.

Anyway, this is the approach I always used too: put it on your birthdaychristmas list.

It sounds crazy to me too. $100/mo is what I give my college kid for spending cash. I pay for her meal plan and for her tuition, fees, and books. That money is for coffees, dinner, Uber, laundry, makeup, clothes, etc. if she wants more, she can work over the summers and on campus. Just some perspective of how large that sum is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are the $150 pj's? My kiss wear t shirts to bed!

Np my daughter and her friends have Eberjey pjs. Ridiculously expensive

I was going to comment sheepishly that I have Eberjey PJs and they are so comfortable and soft. The nicest I have ever had. I feel so embarrassed to have spent this much money on something I sleep in!. And on XMAS day, I was cuddling my 5 year old niece and she touched my arm and said "the jams are so soft!" and I felt vindicated.

[Anonymous]

I get it and feel it’s absurd too. We only allow it for Christmas/birthday or if they spend their own (limited) money. I also point out the dupes out there and how much further your money can do. DD only had to buy and own 1 pair of the Lulu shorts before the luster wore off and she agree the Nike ones I am willing to buy her are just fine. I have two girls and love finding “dupes” for things. I think that’s dumb too but it makes them happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we were in the same boat a couple years ago. We ave her a clothing allowance of $150/mo in addition to her normal allowance $30/mo. Now she is responsible for all her own clothing, makeup (recently), and entertainment. We set out guidelines around what we will buy (school uniforms, school lunch, extra school expenses) and everything else was up to her. On the spirit days or dress in white shirt day or whatever, she was responsible for finding and budgeting the right clothes or wearing her uniform. It worked out great. I got to spend quality time with her teaching her how to spend on the basics and skimp on the frills that she will only wear a couple times. We still buy things (within a budget) that she asks for for Christmas. I also got a chance to talk about our values quality over quantity, we prefer to own everything without financing (home, cars, etc) and these things free cash in other families. Plus, some families are super wealthy - we are "just" rich, like poor rich. We initially hit a couple bumps, but I'm so glad we did this. Now when we shop in not a giant piggy bank. She's doesn't bother me for anything. She sees frivolous spending for what it is. She is fashionable but not at the height of it. I think she is also grateful for the trust and autonomy over this. She even orders her own supplies for projects. We include her in our annual budget reviews now. If your daughter is smart amd mature enough to do this, it worked well for us.

You suck asa parent

No kid needs a monthly clothing budget

My HHI I’m sure is higher than yours I’d never ever do this.

Even $30 a month is stupid .

[Anonymous]

It's hard because this generation is social media obsessed and more conformist than every (I know there are exceptions obviously) My dcs get the "trendy must have" stuff for bdays and occasions. Other than that they work to get spending money or have to save up their allowance. It has been working out well, though they do complain about how so and so has 10 Lululemon tops, or wears only Rick Owens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we were in the same boat a couple years ago. We ave her a clothing allowance of $150/mo in addition to her normal allowance $30/mo. Now she is responsible for all her own clothing, makeup (recently), and entertainment. We set out guidelines around what we will buy (school uniforms, school lunch, extra school expenses) and everything else was up to her. On the spirit days or dress in white shirt day or whatever, she was responsible for finding and budgeting the right clothes or wearing her uniform. It worked out great. I got to spend quality time with her teaching her how to spend on the basics and skimp on the frills that she will only wear a couple times. We still buy things (within a budget) that she asks for for Christmas. I also got a chance to talk about our values quality over quantity, we prefer to own everything without financing (home, cars, etc) and these things free cash in other families. Plus, some families are super wealthy - we are "just" rich, like poor rich. We initially hit a couple bumps, but I'm so glad we did this. Now when we shop in not a giant piggy bank. She's doesn't bother me for anything. She sees frivolous spending for what it is. She is fashionable but not at the height of it. I think she is also grateful for the trust and autonomy over this. She even orders her own supplies for projects. We include her in our annual budget reviews now. If your daughter is smart amd mature enough to do this, it worked well for us.

You suck asa parent

No kid needs a monthly clothing budget

My HHI I’m sure is higher than yours I’d never ever do this.

Even $30 a month is stupid .

Yep. It’s the middle class families at our school that give the crazy allowances, not the rich ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's hard because this generation is social media obsessed and more conformist than every (I know there are exceptions obviously) My dcs get the "trendy must have" stuff for bdays and occasions. Other than that they work to get spending money or have to save up their allowance. It has been working out well, though they do complain about how so and so has 10 Lululemon tops, or wears only Rick Owens.

Yes and I hate this about their generation. But I try to be thankful that my kids a. Like to shop with me and b. Care about their appearance. I don’t buy any of this stuff unless it’s a gift and even then they know I think it’s absurd. All of my clothes come from Loft, Old Navy and Costco and my kids know this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we were in the same boat a couple years ago. We ave her a clothing allowance of $150/mo in addition to her normal allowance $30/mo. Now she is responsible for all her own clothing, makeup (recently), and entertainment. We set out guidelines around what we will buy (school uniforms, school lunch, extra school expenses) and everything else was up to her. On the spirit days or dress in white shirt day or whatever, she was responsible for finding and budgeting the right clothes or wearing her uniform. It worked out great. I got to spend quality time with her teaching her how to spend on the basics and skimp on the frills that she will only wear a couple times. We still buy things (within a budget) that she asks for for Christmas. I also got a chance to talk about our values quality over quantity, we prefer to own everything without financing (home, cars, etc) and these things free cash in other families. Plus, some families are super wealthy - we are "just" rich, like poor rich. We initially hit a couple bumps, but I'm so glad we did this. Now when we shop in not a giant piggy bank. She's doesn't bother me for anything. She sees frivolous spending for what it is. She is fashionable but not at the height of it. I think she is also grateful for the trust and autonomy over this. She even orders her own supplies for projects. We include her in our annual budget reviews now. If your daughter is smart amd mature enough to do this, it worked well for us.

You suck asa parent

No kid needs a monthly clothing budget

My HHI I’m sure is higher than yours I’d never ever do this.

Even $30 a month is stupid .

? Do you have teens? How do they get their clothes? $30/mo isn't even a Hollister Hoodie. It's hardly some excessive amount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we were in the same boat a couple years ago. We ave her a clothing allowance of $150/mo in addition to her normal allowance $30/mo. Now she is responsible for all her own clothing, makeup (recently), and entertainment. We set out guidelines around what we will buy (school uniforms, school lunch, extra school expenses) and everything else was up to her. On the spirit days or dress in white shirt day or whatever, she was responsible for finding and budgeting the right clothes or wearing her uniform. It worked out great. I got to spend quality time with her teaching her how to spend on the basics and skimp on the frills that she will only wear a couple times. We still buy things (within a budget) that she asks for for Christmas. I also got a chance to talk about our values quality over quantity, we prefer to own everything without financing (home, cars, etc) and these things free cash in other families. Plus, some families are super wealthy - we are "just" rich, like poor rich. We initially hit a couple bumps, but I'm so glad we did this. Now when we shop in not a giant piggy bank. She's doesn't bother me for anything. She sees frivolous spending for what it is. She is fashionable but not at the height of it. I think she is also grateful for the trust and autonomy over this. She even orders her own supplies for projects. We include her in our annual budget reviews now. If your daughter is smart amd mature enough to do this, it worked well for us.

You suck asa parent

No kid needs a monthly clothing budget

My HHI I’m sure is higher than yours I’d never ever do this.

Even $30 a month is stupid .

? Do you have teens? How do they get their clothes? $30/mo isn't even a Hollister Hoodie. It's hardly some excessive amount.

Yeah, it’s different if you’re giving them the money to be responsible for all of their clothing. My mom did this for me- gave me an allowance and I had to put it in different envelopes to budget what I was going to spend. But that was for all my clothes, entertainment, gifts to people, etc. I think I learned a lot, as opposed to parents just buying me what I wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we were in the same boat a couple years ago. We ave her a clothing allowance of $150/mo in addition to her normal allowance $30/mo. Now she is responsible for all her own clothing, makeup (recently), and entertainment. We set out guidelines around what we will buy (school uniforms, school lunch, extra school expenses) and everything else was up to her. On the spirit days or dress in white shirt day or whatever, she was responsible for finding and budgeting the right clothes or wearing her uniform. It worked out great. I got to spend quality time with her teaching her how to spend on the basics and skimp on the frills that she will only wear a couple times. We still buy things (within a budget) that she asks for for Christmas. I also got a chance to talk about our values quality over quantity, we prefer to own everything without financing (home, cars, etc) and these things free cash in other families. Plus, some families are super wealthy - we are "just" rich, like poor rich. We initially hit a couple bumps, but I'm so glad we did this. Now when we shop in not a giant piggy bank. She's doesn't bother me for anything. She sees frivolous spending for what it is. She is fashionable but not at the height of it. I think she is also grateful for the trust and autonomy over this. She even orders her own supplies for projects. We include her in our annual budget reviews now. If your daughter is smart amd mature enough to do this, it worked well for us.

You suck asa parent

No kid needs a monthly clothing budget

My HHI I’m sure is higher than yours I’d never ever do this.

Even $30 a month is stupid .

How much do you spend buying kids clothes each year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we were in the same boat a couple years ago. We ave her a clothing allowance of $150/mo in addition to her normal allowance $30/mo. Now she is responsible for all her own clothing, makeup (recently), and entertainment. We set out guidelines around what we will buy (school uniforms, school lunch, extra school expenses) and everything else was up to her. On the spirit days or dress in white shirt day or whatever, she was responsible for finding and budgeting the right clothes or wearing her uniform. It worked out great. I got to spend quality time with her teaching her how to spend on the basics and skimp on the frills that she will only wear a couple times. We still buy things (within a budget) that she asks for for Christmas. I also got a chance to talk about our values quality over quantity, we prefer to own everything without financing (home, cars, etc) and these things free cash in other families. Plus, some families are super wealthy - we are "just" rich, like poor rich. We initially hit a couple bumps, but I'm so glad we did this. Now when we shop in not a giant piggy bank. She's doesn't bother me for anything. She sees frivolous spending for what it is. She is fashionable but not at the height of it. I think she is also grateful for the trust and autonomy over this. She even orders her own supplies for projects. We include her in our annual budget reviews now. If your daughter is smart amd mature enough to do this, it worked well for us.

You suck asa parent

No kid needs a monthly clothing budget

My HHI I’m sure is higher than yours I’d never ever do this.

Even $30 a month is stupid .

Yep. It’s the middle class families at our school that give the crazy allowances, not the rich ones.

Did you take a poll?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is happening with the Christmas/birthday loophole here? Why is Christmas/birthday okay but not a random Tuesday?

We don't celebrate "random Tuesday" but if you do, go for it. We do celebrate taco Tuesday occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we were in the same boat a couple years ago. We ave her a clothing allowance of $150/mo in addition to her normal allowance $30/mo. Now she is responsible for all her own clothing, makeup (recently), and entertainment. We set out guidelines around what we will buy (school uniforms, school lunch, extra school expenses) and everything else was up to her. On the spirit days or dress in white shirt day or whatever, she was responsible for finding and budgeting the right clothes or wearing her uniform. It worked out great. I got to spend quality time with her teaching her how to spend on the basics and skimp on the frills that she will only wear a couple times. We still buy things (within a budget) that she asks for for Christmas. I also got a chance to talk about our values quality over quantity, we prefer to own everything without financing (home, cars, etc) and these things free cash in other families. Plus, some families are super wealthy - we are "just" rich, like poor rich. We initially hit a couple bumps, but I'm so glad we did this. Now when we shop in not a giant piggy bank. She's doesn't bother me for anything. She sees frivolous spending for what it is. She is fashionable but not at the height of it. I think she is also grateful for the trust and autonomy over this. She even orders her own supplies for projects. We include her in our annual budget reviews now. If your daughter is smart amd mature enough to do this, it worked well for us.

You suck asa parent

No kid needs a monthly clothing budget

My HHI I’m sure is higher than yours I’d never ever do this.

Even $30 a month is stupid .

Sure it is Jealous Jan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, we were in the same boat a couple years ago. We ave her a clothing allowance of $150/mo in addition to her normal allowance $30/mo. Now she is responsible for all her own clothing, makeup (recently), and entertainment. We set out guidelines around what we will buy (school uniforms, school lunch, extra school expenses) and everything else was up to her. On the spirit days or dress in white shirt day or whatever, she was responsible for finding and budgeting the right clothes or wearing her uniform. It worked out great. I got to spend quality time with her teaching her how to spend on the basics and skimp on the frills that she will only wear a couple times. We still buy things (within a budget) that she asks for for Christmas. I also got a chance to talk about our values quality over quantity, we prefer to own everything without financing (home, cars, etc) and these things free cash in other families. Plus, some families are super wealthy - we are "just" rich, like poor rich. We initially hit a couple bumps, but I'm so glad we did this. Now when we shop in not a giant piggy bank. She's doesn't bother me for anything. She sees frivolous spending for what it is. She is fashionable but not at the height of it. I think she is also grateful for the trust and autonomy over this. She even orders her own supplies for projects. We include her in our annual budget reviews now. If your daughter is smart amd mature enough to do this, it worked well for us.

You suck asa parent

No kid needs a monthly clothing budget

My HHI I’m sure is higher than yours I’d never ever do this.

Even $30 a month is stupid .

Yep. It’s the middle class families at our school that give the crazy allowances, not the rich ones.

Did you take a poll?

DP

At our school it's a straight up mix - it's a style.