First heartbreak

[Anonymous]

Encourage her to stay busy with friends and think about planning something for the two of you - nails, pedis, dinner out, whatever your daughter may be into at the moment.

Did your daughter see it coming or did they break up out of the blue? When my daughter and her bf broke up last year, it was hard on her and the rest of our family. We all really liked him and had gotten used to him being around, so I had to make sure I wasn’t adding my feelings to the situation.

Another thing that may help is plan a trip for spring break or over summer. It was helpful for my daughter to look forward to going out of town.

Last, with Vday coming up, encourage your daughter to have a Galentines day with a few friends. I didn’t think my daughter would be into it but they had so much fun and took lots of pics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people who don’t allow dating fir their teens even posting here??

OP's kid is already dating. That ship has left the port. She wants to know how she should support her. Why not answer the question instead of coming hear to brag about your excellent teen raising skills.

You realize their teens are just doing everything behind their back. After school clubs are make-out sessions and kids sext and send pics and ft each other. That is the type of relationships the kids get into when parents are that controlling.

As my teen said regarding some other stuff (not dating): "Parents allow it because they think everyone is doing it".

But, they aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone missed the point

14yr old boys are different than experienced 18-20yr old college kids.

And her family would have been there instead of living in a dorm.

and that holds for girls, too. so your friend would have very likely been even more vulnerable had she started dating at 14. you could have just as well argued that she needed to wait a few more years still (not saying she did - it's just impossible to know).

Not the PP but that’s not how it works. A 19yr old girl that has never dated or kissed anyone is going to be around a lot of college boys that have had years of being players.

My daughter is 14 and it would be crazy to go another 5 years not dating, kissing, having relationships etc… Each one helps figure out what you are looking for. I would be really nervous with my daughter being that innocent going to college. But that’s me

not true at all. not sure where are you getting this crap. very little relationship knowledge is transferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone missed the point

14yr old boys are different than experienced 18-20yr old college kids.

And her family would have been there instead of living in a dorm.

and that holds for girls, too. so your friend would have very likely been even more vulnerable had she started dating at 14. you could have just as well argued that she needed to wait a few more years still (not saying she did - it's just impossible to know).

Not the PP but that’s not how it works. A 19yr old girl that has never dated or kissed anyone is going to be around a lot of college boys that have had years of being players.

My daughter is 14 and it would be crazy to go another 5 years not dating, kissing, having relationships etc… Each one helps figure out what you are looking for. I would be really nervous with my daughter being that innocent going to college. But that’s me

not true at all. not sure where are you getting this crap. very little relationship knowledge is transferable.

Where is your proof that it is not? Not sure why I should believe you. Because you talk like you know it all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone missed the point

14yr old boys are different than experienced 18-20yr old college kids.

And her family would have been there instead of living in a dorm.

and that holds for girls, too. so your friend would have very likely been even more vulnerable had she started dating at 14. you could have just as well argued that she needed to wait a few more years still (not saying she did - it's just impossible to know).

Not the PP but that’s not how it works. A 19yr old girl that has never dated or kissed anyone is going to be around a lot of college boys that have had years of being players.

My daughter is 14 and it would be crazy to go another 5 years not dating, kissing, having relationships etc… Each one helps figure out what you are looking for. I would be really nervous with my daughter being that innocent going to college. But that’s me

not true at all. not sure where are you getting this crap. very little relationship knowledge is transferable.

Where is your proof that it is not? Not sure why I should believe you. Because you talk like you know it all?

because i have a phd in psychology. there is no evidence to your claim. like, literally zero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone missed the point

14yr old boys are different than experienced 18-20yr old college kids.

And her family would have been there instead of living in a dorm.

and that holds for girls, too. so your friend would have very likely been even more vulnerable had she started dating at 14. you could have just as well argued that she needed to wait a few more years still (not saying she did - it's just impossible to know).

Not the PP but that’s not how it works. A 19yr old girl that has never dated or kissed anyone is going to be around a lot of college boys that have had years of being players.

My daughter is 14 and it would be crazy to go another 5 years not dating, kissing, having relationships etc… Each one helps figure out what you are looking for. I would be really nervous with my daughter being that innocent going to college. But that’s me

not true at all. not sure where are you getting this crap. very little relationship knowledge is transferable.

Where is your proof that it is not? Not sure why I should believe you. Because you talk like you know it all?

because i have a phd in psychology. there is no evidence to your claim. like, literally zero.

So where is yours, Dr.?
I'm sure you've got some

[Anonymous]

Acknowledge and move one. Tell them it’s ok. Things happen. Breakup may be out of their control. Sometimes you just get dumped. It’s ok to be sad. Surround themselves with friends, keep busy. It will happen again. Learn from it.

[Anonymous]

This is so stupid. No 14 year old is trying to figure out what they are looking for in a future partner. 14 is too you to even deal with these types of mature feelings in relationships while in HS. Some marry their HS sweetheart, most will not. There are adults who can’t deal with break ups and still don’t know what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so stupid. No 14 year old is trying to figure out what they are looking for in a future partner. 14 is too you to even deal with these types of mature feelings in relationships while in HS. Some marry their HS sweetheart, most will not. There are adults who can’t deal with break ups and still don’t know what they want.

+1 Amen!!! Some of these parents are absolutely bonkers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people who don’t allow dating fir their teens even posting here??

OP's kid is already dating. That ship has left the port. She wants to know how she should support her. Why not answer the question instead of coming hear to brag about your excellent teen raising skills.

You realize their teens are just doing everything behind their back. After school clubs are make-out sessions and kids sext and send pics and ft each other. That is the type of relationships the kids get into when parents are that controlling.

As my teen said regarding some other stuff (not dating): "Parents allow it because they think everyone is doing it".

But, they aren't.

Not the person you are replying to, but as a middle school teacher, you are very wrong.

I see kids logging into their social medias on friends phones because they aren’t allowed. Girls changing clothes or taking off their hoodie because they aren’t allowed certain clothes. Old phones being brought in for kids who aren’t allowed to have them. Young kids in relationships even though they aren’t allowed. And way more vaping and drugs than I have ever seen tweens/teens ever do in any decade or generation.

There are only certain ways for kids to fit in and all middle schoolers want to do is fit in. They will go behind their parents back to do it every time. I am not saying it’s right, but you literally can’t believe that there are more kids waking a solo straight line than kids pushing the limits to conform to the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people who don’t allow dating fir their teens even posting here??

OP's kid is already dating. That ship has left the port. She wants to know how she should support her. Why not answer the question instead of coming hear to brag about your excellent teen raising skills.

You realize their teens are just doing everything behind their back. After school clubs are make-out sessions and kids sext and send pics and ft each other. That is the type of relationships the kids get into when parents are that controlling.

As my teen said regarding some other stuff (not dating): "Parents allow it because they think everyone is doing it".

But, they aren't.

Not the person you are replying to, but as a middle school teacher, you are very wrong.

I see kids logging into their social medias on friends phones because they aren’t allowed. Girls changing clothes or taking off their hoodie because they aren’t allowed certain clothes. Old phones being brought in for kids who aren’t allowed to have them. Young kids in relationships even though they aren’t allowed. And way more vaping and drugs than I have ever seen tweens/teens ever do in any decade or generation.

There are only certain ways for kids to fit in and all middle schoolers want to do is fit in. They will go behind their parents back to do it every time. I am not saying it’s right, but you literally can’t believe that there are more kids waking a solo straight line than kids pushing the limits to conform to the norm.

Sorry to break it to you, teacher, but not all kids are trying to fit in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I look back at all my teen heartbreaks with fondness. I met some great guys that I dated and some I truly loved. One I dated from 16-20. All of them taught me a lot about relationships, love, loyalty, and what my core values were to better my boundaries in future relationships. Sure there were tears but wiping them and moving on is empowering. And honestly most of the guys I dated in my 20’s weren’t as exciting. Teen love is sweet and special.

I agree. I am not sure what happened to some of these controlling moms, but dating in high school was a lot more fun and innocent than college. I hated most men during college and really put my guard up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people who don’t allow dating fir their teens even posting here??

OP's kid is already dating. That ship has left the port. She wants to know how she should support her. Why not answer the question instead of coming hear to brag about your excellent teen raising skills.

You realize their teens are just doing everything behind their back. After school clubs are make-out sessions and kids sext and send pics and ft each other. That is the type of relationships the kids get into when parents are that controlling.

As my teen said regarding some other stuff (not dating): "Parents allow it because they think everyone is doing it".

But, they aren't.

Not the person you are replying to, but as a middle school teacher, you are very wrong.

I see kids logging into their social medias on friends phones because they aren’t allowed. Girls changing clothes or taking off their hoodie because they aren’t allowed certain clothes. Old phones being brought in for kids who aren’t allowed to have them. Young kids in relationships even though they aren’t allowed. And way more vaping and drugs than I have ever seen tweens/teens ever do in any decade or generation.

There are only certain ways for kids to fit in and all middle schoolers want to do is fit in. They will go behind their parents back to do it every time. I am not saying it’s right, but you literally can’t believe that there are more kids waking a solo straight line than kids pushing the limits to conform to the norm.

Sorry to break it to you, teacher, but not all kids are trying to fit in.

But they said more are trying to fit in than are not and I agree with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people who don’t allow dating fir their teens even posting here??

OP's kid is already dating. That ship has left the port. She wants to know how she should support her. Why not answer the question instead of coming hear to brag about your excellent teen raising skills.

You realize their teens are just doing everything behind their back. After school clubs are make-out sessions and kids sext and send pics and ft each other. That is the type of relationships the kids get into when parents are that controlling.

As my teen said regarding some other stuff (not dating): "Parents allow it because they think everyone is doing it".

But, they aren't.

Not the person you are replying to, but as a middle school teacher, you are very wrong.

I see kids logging into their social medias on friends phones because they aren’t allowed. Girls changing clothes or taking off their hoodie because they aren’t allowed certain clothes. Old phones being brought in for kids who aren’t allowed to have them. Young kids in relationships even though they aren’t allowed. And way more vaping and drugs than I have ever seen tweens/teens ever do in any decade or generation.

There are only certain ways for kids to fit in and all middle schoolers want to do is fit in. They will go behind their parents back to do it every time. I am not saying it’s right, but you literally can’t believe that there are more kids waking a solo straight line than kids pushing the limits to conform to the norm.

Sorry to break it to you, teacher, but not all kids are trying to fit in.

But they said more are trying to fit in than are not and I agree with that.

The teacher also implied that everyone is doing the forbidden thing and there is no point in trying to have any restrictions whatsoever. The kids will do whatever they need to do to fit in. "Parents, just give up" - teacher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are people who don’t allow dating fir their teens even posting here??

OP's kid is already dating. That ship has left the port. She wants to know how she should support her. Why not answer the question instead of coming hear to brag about your excellent teen raising skills.

You realize their teens are just doing everything behind their back. After school clubs are make-out sessions and kids sext and send pics and ft each other. That is the type of relationships the kids get into when parents are that controlling.

As my teen said regarding some other stuff (not dating): "Parents allow it because they think everyone is doing it".

But, they aren't.

Not the person you are replying to, but as a middle school teacher, you are very wrong.

I see kids logging into their social medias on friends phones because they aren’t allowed. Girls changing clothes or taking off their hoodie because they aren’t allowed certain clothes. Old phones being brought in for kids who aren’t allowed to have them. Young kids in relationships even though they aren’t allowed. And way more vaping and drugs than I have ever seen tweens/teens ever do in any decade or generation.

There are only certain ways for kids to fit in and all middle schoolers want to do is fit in. They will go behind their parents back to do it every time. I am not saying it’s right, but you literally can’t believe that there are more kids waking a solo straight line than kids pushing the limits to conform to the norm.

Sorry to break it to you, teacher, but not all kids are trying to fit in.

New poster: I'm sure not 100% are but the vast majority are.