Say something or be quiet? (Team secret buddy exchange gone wrong)

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to text this mother and apologize (with humor) for your overreaction. Give some excuse. You seem to live on another planet and are teaching your daughter to be overly invested in the wrong things. Remember that it’s your job to prepare her for bullies, hardship, inconsiderate people, etc.

I say this as someone who organizes, remembers, etc. when most people don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This woman did all the work of setting up and running this program, and you're shitting on her for making sure your daughter got a note?

OP and your daughter have sensitivity/anxiety issues. That's OK. We all do. But you need to work on that, and not rage out on everyone around you for their completely normal, civil, *caring*, behavior, or else you'll isolate yourselves even further.

Well she didn't go a very good job of it now did she? I know moms like this. We had one in our preschool. Designate themselves the organizer and then -- oopsie! -- forgot a child or children that she deems less than. It's grown up mean girl behavior, which apparently most on this thread sanction given the rude responses condemning OP and her daughter. I'm Team OP. Bow out of this stupid note nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are you offended by this

Seriously? I'd be offended if my daughter spent time on something only to be treated as an afterthought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This woman did all the work of setting up and running this program, and you're shitting on her for making sure your daughter got a note?

OP and your daughter have sensitivity/anxiety issues. That's OK. We all do. But you need to work on that, and not rage out on everyone around you for their completely normal, civil, *caring*, behavior, or else you'll isolate yourselves even further.

Not Op, but come on. What work did she do? Telling a few kids to write a few notes and messing it up so that OP’s kid didn’t have a match? No, this lady came up with a stupid idea and then half-assed it. Maybe she should focus on doing one thing right at a time instead of having her hands in a lot of different pots and doing everything badly?

+1. This is a terrible idea. We just need to stop with this kind of thing and Bigs/Littles in general. it creates too much drama. A couple of the moms in my girl scout troop wanted to do a secret santa exchange. It was all great until both of these girls didn't like their secret santa partners. Suddenly moms want to change the rules. Let the kids trade people etc. It is ridiculous. Too much social engineering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This woman did all the work of setting up and running this program, and you're shitting on her for making sure your daughter got a note?

OP and your daughter have sensitivity/anxiety issues. That's OK. We all do. But you need to work on that, and not rage out on everyone around you for their completely normal, civil, *caring*, behavior, or else you'll isolate yourselves even further.

Well she didn't go a very good job of it now did she? I know moms like this. We had one in our preschool. Designate themselves the organizer and then -- oopsie! -- forgot a child or children that she deems less than. It's grown up mean girl behavior, which apparently most on this thread sanction given the rude responses condemning OP and her daughter. I'm Team OP. Bow out of this stupid note nonsense.

It wasn’t a relevant detail before, but the current mom organizing was really nasty to the mom who started the idea and told everyone that she didn’t like how it was being done and so she took over. The original mom gracefully let her even though she was pubclicy criticized by the current organizer. So I’m not going to just be thankful she organized it because she’s the one who was critical and forced herself to be in charge!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids have special needs and refuse to write (ask me how I know). I write all the cards, notes, etc. Maybe that's the case. The mom did not want to leave your kid without a note and wrote it herself.

This is me and my dyslexic kid with ADHD and ASD. Asking her to write a note is just impossible. Whoever came up with this idea should can it. But stop judging the kids for not writing notes. Not everyone can write. Not even the ones you’d think would be able to.

So would it be ok for your ADHD and ASD kid to either get no note or a note that neither meant the point of being encouraging or supportive. Doubtful. You'd be the parent who complains about your special kid being left out.

When did the ADHD card give everyone a get out of everything you don't want to do free card?

[Anonymous]

I’m vanilla

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another possibility: the kid made a lovely note and it was forgotten at home so the parent replicated in a pinch. Stuff happens. Let it go.

I heard what happened. I was annoyed enough that I directly texted just m the mom who was organizing things to let her know we wouldn’t be participating for the next meet because it made my daughter feel crappy before this meet instead of encouraged. I said that my daughter realized it was from an adult and felt hurt. I didn’t send a group text.

She replied and confessed that she had messed up the names this week and realized that she hadn’t assigned my daughter a buddy and didn’t know what to do so at the last minute and she wrote the note herself.

I already dislike this mom for other reasons plus she was the one obsessed with doing buddies in the first place. Knowing that she knew my daughter didn’t have a buddy for a week and then tried to cover it at the last minute was not the explanation I was expecting.

Definitely would have been more understanding of poor fine motor skills or a dead grandma or some of the other not unreasonable explanations others wrote here.

OP, you need mental help if you are not a troll. The mom made a mistake and tried to fix it. She was trying to do something nice and extra for the season. You chose to participate. There was nothing mean about the note. Do you have rejection sensitive ADD? Your texting the mom was over the line. What are you going to do when in middle school, DD has friends who don't include her, don't want to sit with her at lunch, etc.? Your reaction is extremely disproportionate, if you are real and if this happened.

[Anonymous]

Cut the swim mom a little slack

[Anonymous]

The note was not mean and was encouraging and she was not left out. The mom made a mistake and tried to fix it. Perhaps there were not an even number of girls this week?

Why this extreme overreaction, especially as your DD wants to keep swimming? Why did/would you create animosity or a poor impression of you/your family? Do you have a history of unstable relationships, personally or at work?

Can you not see that it is YOU who comes off very poorly, OP? If this is not a troll?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This woman did all the work of setting up and running this program, and you're shitting on her for making sure your daughter got a note?

OP and your daughter have sensitivity/anxiety issues. That's OK. We all do. But you need to work on that, and not rage out on everyone around you for their completely normal, civil, *caring*, behavior, or else you'll isolate yourselves even further.

Well she didn't go a very good job of it now did she? I know moms like this. We had one in our preschool. Designate themselves the organizer and then -- oopsie! -- forgot a child or children that she deems less than. It's grown up mean girl behavior, which apparently most on this thread sanction given the rude responses condemning OP and her daughter. I'm Team OP. Bow out of this stupid note nonsense.

It wasn’t a relevant detail before, but the current mom organizing was really nasty to the mom who started the idea and told everyone that she didn’t like how it was being done and so she took over. The original mom gracefully let her even though she was pubclicy criticized by the current organizer. So I’m not going to just be thankful she organized it because she’s the one who was critical and forced herself to be in charge!

!!!!! lol, OP. Calm down.

I'm going to ask Jeff if this is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This woman did all the work of setting up and running this program, and you're shitting on her for making sure your daughter got a note?

OP and your daughter have sensitivity/anxiety issues. That's OK. We all do. But you need to work on that, and not rage out on everyone around you for their completely normal, civil, *caring*, behavior, or else you'll isolate yourselves even further.

Not Op, but come on. What work did she do? Telling a few kids to write a few notes and messing it up so that OP’s kid didn’t have a match? No, this lady came up with a stupid idea and then half-assed it. Maybe she should focus on doing one thing right at a time instead of having her hands in a lot of different pots and doing everything badly?

+1. This is a terrible idea. We just need to stop with this kind of thing and Bigs/Littles in general. it creates too much drama. A couple of the moms in my girl scout troop wanted to do a secret santa exchange. It was all great until both of these girls didn't like their secret santa partners. Suddenly moms want to change the rules. Let the kids trade people etc. It is ridiculous. Too much social engineering.

+ 200. It’s not just stupidity in play; it’s some moms trying to control other moms and it’s ridiculous. OP is right about this crap. Of course the aholes here are attacking her.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are incredibly over invested. It's all stupid. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Don’t choke the mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids have special needs and refuse to write (ask me how I know). I write all the cards, notes, etc. Maybe that's the case. The mom did not want to leave your kid without a note and wrote it herself.

This is me and my dyslexic kid with ADHD and ASD. Asking her to write a note is just impossible. Whoever came up with this idea should can it. But stop judging the kids for not writing notes. Not everyone can write. Not even the ones you’d think would be able to.

So would it be ok for your ADHD and ASD kid to either get no note or a note that neither meant the point of being encouraging or supportive. Doubtful. You'd be the parent who complains about your special kid being left out.

When did the ADHD card give everyone a get out of everything you don't want to do free card?

You daughter got the card, but it was not encouraging enough for her. Next time request the notes from the “literal refugees” on the team.

We get it. You are the special mom with the very very special kid. No competition here.

Also, it’s the “swim team mom” not the “special needs” mom who complained in multiple paragraphs about receiving a non-gel-penned card.

You need a job, OP.