Say something or be quiet? (Team secret buddy exchange gone wrong)

[Anonymous]

Same thing happened to me in Girl Scouts. I had great weekly notes and little gifts for my buddy and my buddy remembered one time. I don’t know that I even told my parents but if I did, they certainly never said anything. It’s one of those things that just sucks and you move on.

[Anonymous]

Who came up with this idea? The mothers? Ugh. Keep it in perspective that this was doomed from the start. Your DD is trying to be encouraging so praise for that.

[Anonymous]

Our summer swim team does big/little buddies and sometimes you just don’t get a good buddy. It’s also a life lesson, along with the wind and losses that come along with the sport. I would let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our summer swim team does big/little buddies and sometimes you just don’t get a good buddy. It’s also a life lesson, along with the wind and losses that come along with the sport. I would let it go.

+1

Also I would tell my DD not to spend too much time on these letters—5 minutes tops, and I would set a timer.

[Anonymous]

Another possibility: the kid made a lovely note and it was forgotten at home so the parent replicated in a pinch. Stuff happens. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine a situation where someone can’t have their 3rd or 4th grade child write/draw a note with 7 days’ notice, especially after all the fuss the other moms put up about how important these notes were.

I'm glad your life has been that charmed. You don't know why the other child might have needed help to write that note.

You have a whole lot of empathy for your daughter and her hard week of swimming. Have some empathy for another child, and respect this family's privacy.

X1000 ‘I can’t imagine….’

Op, this speaks absolute volumes about your empathy.

Family sickness, special needs, financial stress, domestic abuse, work stress, mental health, or generally ‘the sh$7 is hitting the fan this week’. None of those resonate with you and how a note for a swim team member may not rise to your top ten list until the hour before you show up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, not where I thought this was going at all. Thought someone wrote something mean.

You are hugely over-reacting. This whole thing is a dumb idea but you are really blowing it out of proportion and projecting on your kid. Step back lady.

My thoughts exactly. It’s not working for your kid. Stop.

[Anonymous]

I also expected this to be about a note that had cruel content.

OP, I can see it being disappointing to a kid, but we have to rely on ourselves and family for encouragement (and God, if religious). What we put into things is not what we get back, a lot of the time.

Since you have the supplies at home and you both value encouraging notes, maybe you should write some and hide them in her bag? Could become keepsakes. Bust out the gel pens, OP! Tell your DD how proud you are of her.

[Anonymous]

Re: your title, what could you possibly say and to what purpose?

If your daughter never wants to swim again and you are say, moving out of state, uh, have at it, OP.

Consider the impression that would create of you amongst a LOT of people.

[Anonymous]

If participation is voluntary, why don’t you just opt out for the remaining meets?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If participation is voluntary, why don’t you just opt out for the remaining meets?

It's probably too late to opt out at this point. I wouldn't say anything but would make a mental note for next time and would instead focus my energy on my daughter. I liked the PP's suggestions of rallying music on the way to meets.

Unlike most of the PPs, though, I feel for your daughter. I always, my entire life, have ended up with the short end of the stick with these type of buddy/secret santa/swap arrangements and opt out whenever possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, not where I thought this was going at all. Thought someone wrote something mean.

You are hugely over-reacting. This whole thing is a dumb idea but you are really blowing it out of proportion and projecting on your kid. Step back lady.

This.

We have no idea what happened at that home over the last seven days. The mom writing the note didn’t want your kid to feel left out despite whatever their family was dealing with.

[Anonymous]

So sad OP

[Anonymous]

This is not the special needs board. Special needs mommies need to stop. OP’s daughter has already received notes so we know her buddy is capable of writing.

Yes, absolutely text the moms and say you think the notes need to stop now. This is a really stupid idea and the mommy who decided to do it shouldn’t be allowed to organize this sort of stuff again. How did she think it would go???

[Anonymous]

How are you offended by this